


Just Your Heart, In Exchange For Mine

by noxsoulmate



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bakery Shop Owner Dean Winchester, Bakery and Coffee Shop, Canon-Typical Violence, Cas is a witch, Dean Winchester's First Time With a Man, Demisexuality, M/M, Retired Hunter Dean, Witch Curses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-04
Updated: 2017-03-04
Packaged: 2018-09-28 10:51:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 46,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10094819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noxsoulmate/pseuds/noxsoulmate
Summary: Dean owns a bakery and Castiel loves his pie. This could be such a cute little bakery love story – if it weren’t for the fact that one was a retired hunter and the other one a powerful witch. There’s also the matter of the black little cat Dean finds in front of his bakery one cold and rainy night. Not to forget the crazy witch on the loose, ripping out other witches’ hearts.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Cat That Got The Dean](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10090151) by [delicirony (deliciousirony)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/deliciousirony/pseuds/delicirony). 



> Hello again :) this has been my very first Reverse Bang and let me tell you: it was a blast :D my artist [delicirony](http://archiveofourown.org/users/deliciousirony/pseuds/delicirony) and I had so much fun plotting this out and I knew it would be a long fic - but I never thought it would be my longest yet ;)  
> You’ll find the piece that inspired all this in the prologue.  
> Just one little thing before we start: This is a canon divergent fic without the angel story line. Also, I set the original Supernatural story line back a few years: you’ll find references through the fic to some hunts that happened in later years, but I let them happen earlier in Dean’s life (just think of it as roughly five years “missing”).  
> And now, I hope you have fun with the amazing art and the story it inspired.

 

** Prologue **

The bakery looked so warm and inviting. It was empty save for the lonely man cleaning the counters. Soft music could be heard even through the thick window, a classic rock song, accompanied by the rumbling voice of the man. The light illuminated the last display cases of delicious muffins and pies in the window, not yet cleaned out for the night.

The warmth and light was such a contrast to the outside world. Night had already fallen over the city, the darkness hardly a difference to the day. Storm clouds had brought heavy rain around midday, stealing all of the sunlight hours before dusk. With the actual night, the cold came. It was bordering on dropping below freezing, the rain the only sign that this line hadn’t been crossed yet. But even the rain felt colder, each drop stabbing into skin like pins and needles. No sane soul was outside in weather like this. None. Except for one.

Cas’ blue eyes reflected the light coming from inside this warm haven. Had anyone seen him in this moment, they would’ve seen all the sorrow, the despair in those eyes. How much he longed to be able to just go to the door and step inside. He was so desperate for it, for so many reasons. It was not just the warmth that would shelter him from the cold creeping inside him with every further drop. It wasn’t just the delicious treats, teasing him, reminding him that it had been days since last he had tasted them. No, it was mostly the man inside the bakery. But if Dean had seemed out of his reach before, now he most definitely was. And yet.

One of Cas’ paws landed on the glass of the window, as he was longing for what lay behind. While he watched Dean sway softly to the music, the rain still pouring on his black fur, he let his mind wander back to the day that had started it all …


	2. Chapter 2

** Chapter 1 **

 

 

“Can I bring you anything else, Cas?”

Castiel looked up from his papers, scattered across the four person table he occupied whenever the bakery wasn’t too crowded. The owner of the bakery, Dean Winchester, looked down at him with a soft smile, one hand full of various plates loaded with delicious treats.

“Oh, ehm. Another muffin, maybe?”

“Sure, blueberry again? Or I could let you try the cherry ones I just got fresh from the oven.”

“Yeah, that … that sounds nice, thank you.” Trying to hide his blush, Cas sent the man a shy smile.

Dean gave him another grin. “Alright, coming right up.”

When he left, Cas turned back to his papers and tried to be subtle as he followed Dean only with his eyes, watching as the man put down one plate after another on the various tables along his way back to the counter. He stopped here and there for a little chit-chat, laughed, and was generally an attentive host.

Sighing, Cas went back to studying the ancient text in front of him. When would he finally get over his stupid crush on the cute café owner? It had only been a bit over four months ago that he’d stumbled into this fine bakery, drenched head to toe from the first cold rain storm this fall. Dean had been kind enough to give him some hot coffee and a freshly baked and therefore still warm pie, but he’d also brought him a towel, a shirt, and a warm hoodie. After getting changed, Cas had stayed in the almost empty bakery and chatted quite pleasantly with Dean, as the owner insisted he be called. In return, Castiel asked him to call him by his first name as well. By the time the rain finally stopped, Dean was calling him Cas and the young professor enjoyed the nickname. It was the start of a somewhat tentative friendship that was based solely on the fact that Cas showed up almost every day from then on and Dean would sometimes let him try new creations and made sure Cas’ coffee pot was never empty.

The only problem about this friendship was that it hadn’t even taken a whole month for Cas to fall head over heels for the man he guessed to be only slightly older than himself. It wasn’t just the fact that Dean was devilishly handsome, with his green eyes and freckles, the brownish sandy blonde hair, and a smile that could melt the ice cream on any pie. Dean was also kind and funny and always had a listening ear for everyone. Every so often, he would sit down with Cas in the evening, after the mad rush of students needing a caffeine fix to prepare for evening study sessions. He would pick up the papers spread over the table and ask questions that showed Cas that the man was genuinely interested in trying to understand what he was researching.

With all that, who wouldn’t develop a crush?

From the very beginning, Castiel had tried to fight against it. He’d even stayed away for a whole week, only to give in and go back, telling Dean a white lie about being busy when the man asked with real concern where he had been. He’d also tried to be rational – he was a customer after all, so naturally Dean would be friendly, because that was his job. Yet, nothing had helped and if anything, the crush on the man had grown with time.

A plate was put down next to his coffee pot, before Dean poured some more of the black gold into his big mug. Cas smiled up at him with a thank you.

“So, what’cha reading today?”

“Oh, ehm. Some … Latin stuff again. Ehm … old curses this time.”

At that, Dean’s eyes snapped towards him, confusion clearly written in them. “Curses? What, like … witchy stuff?”

Chuckling, Cas discreetly pushed one specific paper under another, making it look as if he was just tidying to make enough space for the muffin he was now pulling towards himself. “Well, you know how they believed witches were real in the Early Modern Age, right? These are some of the spells people believed they’ve seen or heard witches use.”

“And you’re reading this, because …?”

“Because I’m going to write a textbook about it. And because it’s fun,” he added with a grin.

That had Dean laughing. “Sure, Cas,” clearly amused and gently mocking him. “Reading some witchy Latin stuff is everybody’s idea of fun.”

“Well, I’m not everybody,” Cas replied, astonishing himself with his own banter.

Dean, however, seemed to like it, as his grin only grew wider. “That you are,” he replied, giving him a wink before leaving for another customer who was waving to get his attention.

Taking a tentative sip from the still hot coffee, Cas carefully got the piece of paper he’d hidden from Dean back out. Beside the fact that he was too shy and awkward to ever ask someone like Dean out, this was another reason why Cas would never, ever ask the cute barista on a date.

He hadn’t been lying when he said it was old spells. Neither had he been lying about the textbook or the fun. But he’d neglected to mention the real reason why day after day, Castiel studied “witchy” stuff.

It was because he himself was a witch.

And by that, he meant a real witch. Not like those in modern literature with their wands and schools and circles. Real magic was something completely different, something … real. The supernatural world itself was real and sometimes terrifying. Not the romanticized idea of sparkling vampires or werewolves that behaved like fluffy dogs. It could be brutal and harsh and most definitely not a world into which he wanted to drag someone as genuine and pure as Dean. Gabriel, one of the brethren in his coven and also a brother by blood, constantly told him to “Man up and ask the guy out!” and no matter how often Cas tried to explain the reasons why he shouldn’t, Gabe wouldn’t leave him alone. Then again, maybe Cas should just stop whining about his situation every day.

The fact that he wanted to keep Dean safe and out of this harsh world, however, didn’t mean he didn’t enjoy every minute he could spend in the man’s presence. So much so, that he’d rather spend his winter break here than at home. His coven lived together in one of the suburbs of Lawrence, Kansas, and even though he had his own little house there, it was never quiet around this time of year. Kids were home, family members that traveled the world came by, everybody was visiting. Their coven was a big one and in the winter time, it was even more evident. Spontaneous visits were the norm, time to work in peace was rare. He hadn’t noticed it much over past years while he was “just” one of the visiting members. But ever since July and his return home, he’d noticed it more and more. And winter break was the worst.

Therefore, he packed up all the papers he needed for his research and made himself comfortable at _Dean’s Pie_. On the slower days like when the students from Lawrence University weren’t there, Dean never minded Cas occupying a bigger table. As well as the comfortable space and the good company, the delicious sweets were an added bonus.

As Cas took the first bite of Dean’s new creation, an uncontrolled moan escaped his lips. Dean was an amazing baker and if it wasn’t for Cas’ workout every morning, he would be rolling down the street by now. This cherry muffin was exceptionally amazing.

“I take it you like it,” Dean said, appearing right next to Cas, startling him slightly. “I mean, if the noises you make are anything to go by.”

Castiel felt his face turn cherry-red at that comment, so he hastily looked back down at the table. “Yeah, it’s amazing.”

Dean was about to speak again, when the bell above the door rang. They both looked over towards the entrance. Two big and slightly scary looking men entered, broad shouldered and looming, looking around as if they were searching for something or someone. They looked like the kind of guys one wouldn’t want to meet in a dark alley. Yet, Cas wasn’t alarmed. As strange as it might sometimes look to have all these buff, macho, biker-types of guys and some tough looking ladies sitting around in the bakery, eating dainty cupcakes and delicious pie, it wasn’t an unusual picture for Dean’s bakery.

What was unusual, however, was Dean’s reaction to the men. “Excuse me,” was all Cas heard him say and just before the man was gone from his side, Cas could see a wide grin spread over his face.

“Look what the wind carried to my doorstep.”

The moment he spoke, the two men focused on him and similar grins spread over their faces. “Winchester, good to see you’re still alive,” the shorter of the two replied, pulling Dean into a rough hug. Dean seemed happy to comply, hugging back as well before patting the man on his back. The other guy got a similar greeting, before Dean steered them to an empty table.

Trying to focus back on his research was almost impossible now. The two men and even Dean’s behavior around them had Cas feeling compelled to glance up now and then. Dean brought them pie and coffee, and after checking that all his other patrons were happy, he actually sat down with them. Cas could see and hear them joking and laughing while the men devoured an impressive amount of pie and strawberry macaroons. Once Dean had cleaned the table and made another round through his bakery, he sat back down with them and Cas felt a slight shift in the men’s behavior. The boisterous laughter was gone and all of a sudden, there were hushed voices and heads huddled together. One of the men even pulled some files out and showed pictures to Dean, who studied them while still in conversation.

_What on earth is that about?_

Cas really wasn’t the type of person to spy on others, but for some reason, he was intrigued. He’d only met Hunters twice in his life, both times lucky enough to not be the targeted witch and therefore slipping under their radar. But these two foreigners clearly were the type. So the question was: what was their business with Dean? Were they threatening him? He didn’t look perturbed, quite the contrary. But still.

Picking up one of his thick books Cas positioned it so his left hand was covered from the room. He reached for his inner core, his soul, the place where his magic sat, before concentrating on enhancing his hearing. His magic surged through him, concentrating on the outlet he was directing it to, so only his hand would be covered in a dark blue mist. Having practiced magic since he could remember, this was as natural to him as breathing. He knew his eyes shone at the moment he practiced his art, so he made sure to keep his head down.

Concentrating for a moment more, he filtered out all the other conversations going on in the bakery, focusing fully on the three men sitting at a table diagonally to his own.

He was able to catch the rest of what the taller guy was saying, “... weren’t sure if you were still up for this.”

“Don’t be stupid, Jesse. Something like this? Of course I’ll help. Just … not out in the field.”

Cas kept his eyes firmly trained on the script in front of him, not daring to look up. What was Dean talking about?

There was a small pause, so heavy with tension that Cas could actually feel it.

“We understand that, Dean,” the other man finally broke the moment. “We’re not asking you to hunt again.”

_Hunt?_

Cas tried to stay calm at all costs, reminding himself that even though these two strangers definitely fitted the Hunter-type, _hunting_ was also a term for things _normal people_ did.

“Thanks, Cesar. I appreciate that,” Dean continued, still looking at something Cas couldn’t really make out with his head bent down. “But I can help you with some research. What else can you tell me?”

“Well,” the guy Dean had called Cesar began, as he pointed to something. “This is the first victim we found. Girl in her early twenties, heart ripped out. She was one of the older victims.”

Feeling how his breathing got heavier, Cas tried to calm himself by finding any other circumstance in which this conversation would make sense. Maybe these guys were FBI and Dean a retired FBI agent? It would fit with the “out in the field”-comment ...

“What was the average age?”

“Not sure if we got all victims, but about 17.”

“And you’re sure this was a witch? Ripped out hearts sound more like a werewolf to me.”

Cas could feel the blood drain from his face.

_This is not happening. This is NOT happening._

“No, we’re sure. We saw her do it once, but were too far away to hear or do anything about it.”

“So … one witch, running around and killing other witches? Young witches at that? What’s that about?”

“Don’t know, don’t care,” the Jesse guy threw in.

By now, Cas was shaking. Dean knew? He knew about the supernatural? And what? He used to be a Hunter?

“Look, as long as this witch sticks to her own, fine. But I don’t wanna risk her breaking her pattern and suddenly the next dead kid we find is actually a human one.”

“Hey, you don’t have to convince me. Mostly I hate witches. Always spewing bodily fluids everywhere –” both men laughed at Dean’s joke “– and seeing this one here? Yeah, I’ll totally say: let’s shank that bitch. But –”

Dean stopped as the loud _thud_ and _clank_ rang through the bakery. Cas was just conscious enough to extinguish his magic or everybody in the room would have seen his glowing hand. Because all eyes were on him after his falling book had crashed into his mug and made the coffee spill all over the table. He hardly cared. He’d be able to save the papers later with the simplest of spells. For now, all he could think was _Get Out!_

As fast as he could, he scrambled all his papers and books together and shoved them in his bag, not caring for order or anything else.

_Get out._

_Get out._

_Get OUT!_

“Cas!”

Cas’ eyes snapped up as Dean’s hand landed on his shoulder. Reflexively, he flinched away, banging into the table behind him. Only once he saw the confused and even hurt expression in Dean’s eyes, did he realize how suspicious his behavior must be.

“Are you alright?”

“Yes,” Cas exclaimed, before swallowing and forcing himself to stay calm just a moment longer. Shoving the last of his papers in the bag, he already made a move for the door. “I just … it’s … I forgot … something. Bye.”

The moment he reached the door, he opened it, not letting Dean out of his sight until he was outside. The front of the bakery was made up of glass windows, and as long as he could still be seen by the three Hunters, he had to force himself to walk at a normal pace. Once he was out of sight, though, all bets were off and he ran like hell, thoughts bouncing around in his head over and over again.

 _Dean’s a Hunter and he hates witches. Dean’s a Hunter … and he_ kills _witches. Dean’s a Hunter. Dean’s a Hunter. Dean’s a Hunter!!_

 

 

“What was all that about?”

Jesse’s question brought Dean out of his stupor.

“I have absolutely no idea,” he answered his friend, turning back towards the counter to get a rag. He felt bad for all the papers that must’ve been ruined by the coffee, but more than about Cas’ research, he was worried about the man himself. That was so unlike Cas. Had something happened? Had he gotten a phone call that had disturbed him so much that he would flee?

“Did the guy just leave without paying?”

Dean looked up at Cesar, before checking the table, even though he’d just cleaned it and therefore knew there was no money there. “It’s alright,” he replied, going back to the counter to put the rag away. “He comes in almost every day. He’ll pay the next time and probably feel terrible about forgetting today.”

“If you say so …”

Still worrying about Cas, Dean attended to a few of his customers, refilling pots of coffee, cashing in some money, cleaning up. Once everyone was happy again, he sat back down with Jesse and Cesar, who were still poring over the pictures. He took a moment to just watch his two friends. They’d been married for years now, hunting together even longer than that. He’d met them on his last mission as an active Hunter and he owed his life to them. It was the mission that showed him once and for all that his active hunting life was over; ever since –

“So, back to the problem at hand,” Jesse interrupted Dean’s train of thought, looking at him. “The witch.”

“Yes,” Dean replied, getting his head back in the game. This really was some weird shit right there and he already made a mental note for a phone call later on. “What I was going to say is: we need to be careful here –”

“Dean, we’re no amateurs.”

“I’m not saying that. What I mean is we need to be careful to get the right witch.”

“Well, in my eyes, every dead witch is a good witch.”

“I know you’ve never agreed with me on this, Jesse, but I’m telling you one more time: there are good supernatural beings out there. It took me _decades_ to not only know, but also to understand that. There are werewolf packs that live in quiet and peaceful communities.” Garth and his newfound family were proof of that, but Dean knew better than to mention his old friend’s name to Jesse. “There are vamps out there that don’t drink human blood and yes, there are also good witches out there. Witches that are what you’d probably call a white witch,” Dean added, knowing that _real_ witches didn’t make a difference between black and white. Magic was magic. It was the intention one put behind it that made the outcome either good or bad. “They take care of nature and crops and so much more. You know there are some here in Lawrence and I’m not going to let you kill one of them by accident.”

“What are you now, huh? A witch-lover?” Jesse snarled at him, but before Dean could reply, Cesar put a calming hand on his husband’s arm.

“Jesse, please.”

“No, it’s fine Cesar,” Dean said. “I know you guys don’t see eye to eye with me on that. I don’t care. This is my town, so you guys play by my rules. Otherwise I’ll kick your asses, retired or not.”

He stared right at Jesse, knowing the man wasn’t going to back down easily.

“What makes you so sure these creatures you’re so fiercely protecting won’t turn on you one day?”

“Do you really think I’m that stupid?” He actually scoffed at that before continuing. “You think anything evil would be able to walk into my bakery? And outside, I still know how to protect myself.”

“Wait,” Jesse replied, his heated gaze replaced by one of wonder. “There are wards around this building?”

Dean gave him a bitch-face that would make Sammy proud. “No, of course not. After a life full of hunting and facing the most evil of the evil, I just decided to settle down, unwarded and unprotected. Totally makes sense.”

“Guys, please,” Cesar was quick to intervene. “Jesse, Dean’s right. We might not like it, but this is his territory. And Dean, we know what you’ve been through and we know you’ve formed a … well … some kind of alliance with the local witches. As long as they leave us alone, we’ll leave them alone.”

“They won’t touch you.”

“Then there’s no need to discuss it any further. We know what the witch we’re hunting looks like, so there won’t be any mix-ups.”

Dean nodded at that before being called away by another customer entering the bakery. The constant stream of customers and regulars wanting his attention gave him no more time to sit with Cesar and Jesse. Charlie had the day off, so he had to handle everything himself, which was usually not a problem with the university closed for winter break. And today wasn’t stressful either, it was simply busy enough to not leave him any time to sit down again. The guys stayed a little longer, but soon left, promising to be back tomorrow.

The next time Dean had a quiet moment he got his phone out and called his contact within the local witch coven. It was a rather unusual friendship, if one could even call it that. But it did bring Dean some kind of safety. Only this witch knew Dean’s name and only Dean knew the witch’s name. That was part of their unbreakable treaty: absolute anonymity. Dean wasn’t able to talk about anyone else about this witch and their family and the witch couldn’t talk to anyone else about Dean and his Hunters. Both sides only knew the alliance was there and if there needed to be contact that it would be between these two and no one else. It had worked for over three years by now.

His contact sounded very concerned about the news, not able to tell Dean off the top of their head what the witch might be looking for. But they promised to bring it to their circle and make sure to find an explanation for it as well as a solution. The witch also thanked Dean for the warning. Whatever it was, they would make sure to keep their younger ones protected at any cost.

When the phone call ended, Dean started cleaning up and closed the shop once his last customers had left. It was a bit earlier than he’d usually close, but he hadn’t felt so good today and the confrontation with Jesse wasn’t a pleasant thing to deal with. He also wanted to make sure to call Sammy and ask his brother to have a look through the books from the old Men of Letter’s bunker. Neither of them lived there anymore, but they still held the key and kept it as a base for other Hunters. Sammy was still taking hunting jobs here and there, but mostly, he’d settled down in Lawrence, just as Dean had. After a lot of pushing from Dean’s side, he was studying again and close to finishing up his law degree to finally, finally become a lawyer just as he’d always wanted. He’d also started dating: Eileen was a girl he’d met during one of his solo hunts and after he’d helped her take the revenge she’d needed so badly, she’d been without a real purpose in life and without a real home. So Sam had invited her to stay with them in Lawrence for a while and now she was working at the university, giving courses in ASL as she herself was almost deaf due to what a banshee had done to her when she’d still been a baby. Sam and Eileen had been dating for almost a year now and Dean was delighted to see his little brother so happy.

Maybe the issues that had forced him to give up his active hunting career had been for the best in the end. Now he had a somewhat fulfilling life in this new role he had in the Hunter world. When Sam had called him the new Bobby, he’d almost punched his little brother, because no one – _no one_ – was ever going to replace that old grump. Yet, nowadays, he had to admit that even he saw the truth of it. His bakery, while being a fairly normal business, was also a new Hunter’s go-to point. Just like the Roadhouse had once been. And whenever a younger Hunter was in trouble and needed back up, or somebody needed someone to fake an FBI superior, or even if someone simply needed some advice, one of his various phones in the backroom would ring, for either him or Charlie to pick up. So maybe he really was the new Bobby. If that was the case, he’d be making damn sure to do the man justice.

The task of cleaning the bakery was always a calming one. Dean turned up his radio and hummed along to his favorite old classic rock songs. He lost himself in thought while wiping down tables and wrapping up the leftovers from the day. They would be picked up by a homeless shelter in the morning to be given out there, one of the little things Dean could do to help his community.

As he was sweeping the floor, his eyes fell on a paper lying under Cas’ table. It hadn’t taken long for Dean to call the table that, even if it was just in his head. The cute professor simply was here so often. Picking up the paper, he saw old letters in what he guessed was Latin. One of Cas’ research papers that he must have forgotten. While Dean put it behind the counter, he remembered the scene that had taken place earlier that day. The way Cas had suddenly looked so panicked. How he hadn’t reacted to Dean saying his name five times until Dean had spoken up and touched him. His behavior had been so unusual, Dean just hoped that everything was okay. But for now, there was nothing he could do about it. As often as he’d tried to jump over his own insecurities, to forget his father’s voice in his head … he’d never been able to do it. Never been able to simply ask the cute guy for his phone number. Or for a date. And maybe it was for the better. Cas might think it was fun to study “witchy stuff” … but he was way too precious to be confronted with the harsh reality. The supernatural world had taken too much from Dean; he wouldn’t risk bringing an innocent person into it out of the selfish wish to not be lonely anymore.

Sighing, Dean ran a hand over his face. He knew it wasn’t only the supernatural world that was dangerous, his own fate being proof of that. He could just hope nothing bad had happened to Cas today to have him run out of here like a madman. Dean tried to stay calm. Cas would be back tomorrow or the day after at the latest, and then he would be able to talk to him again. For now, he finished up with cleaning the front and the kitchen in the back, before making his way upstairs to his loft for a relaxed night and a long phone call with his brother.


	3. Chapter 3

** Chapter 2 **

 

Cas didn’t come back the next day. Or the day after. Or the day after that.

New Year’s came and went. The Winchester’s and their closest friends celebrated it quietly with a good game of poker, as had become quite a nice tradition for them. New Year’s Day, the bakery stayed closed, which meant another day without Cas, and he didn’t show the next two days either. Dean started to be more than just a little bit worried. So far, there’d only been one time where Cas had stayed away for almost a week. He’d told Dean he’d been busy back then, yet Dean had felt that there was more to it. Maybe something had happened again that kept him from coming back?

Charlie, in her usual fashion of not only being his best friend, but also the most annoying one, felt like she had to bring up the missing professor constantly, which didn’t help to make Dean’s mood better in any way.

“Cas still a no-show?” she asked again exactly a week after the incident. Dean replied by grumbling at her as he rearrange some of the mini pies to add more of them to the display on the counter.

“Don’t worry, Dean,” Charlie replied while putting on her apron that held the logo of Dean’s bakery. “He’ll come back eventually. You know he has just as much of a crush on you as you do on him.”

“Charlie!” Dean cried out, loud enough for some patrons to turn their heads. It only made his friend laugh even harder.

“Well, I’m only telling you the truth.”

Not giving her the pleasure of replying or trying to deny it, he left for the kitchen to start on the next batch of cupcakes.

Cas was again absent the whole day, and Charlie’s constant ripping wasn’t improving Dean’s mood in the slightest. He sent his friend home early, pretending it was just the upcoming icy rain storm that was expected and that he wanted her home safe and warm. He didn’t listen to her protest about how stupid that was since she lived in an apartment just across the street.

It was another evening of using cleaning to distract himself from the thoughts running around his head.

It wasn’t just Cas, it was also this rogue witch as the Hunters and his witch contact called her. They’d still not caught her, but had evidence that she’d attacked again, this time a 22-year-old boy two towns over. Jesse had even brought up the idea to use one of “Dean’s witches” as bait – an idea he hadn’t even dignified with a reply.

A dim blue glow in the bakery’s window was what caught Dean’s eyes and pulled him out of his musing and singing along to old rock songs. Squinting, he looked past the last few baked goods on display in the window until he was sure he really saw what he was seeing. Illuminated just so by the light coming from inside the bakery, a black cat sat against the window, looking inside. He could hardly make out anything, but it was enough to show Dean that the poor thing was shivering, probably soaked from the icy rain, frozen half to death. Who on earth would leave their little friend outside in weather like this?

Putting the rag he’d used to wipe down the counter aside, Dean went for the door. Looking up at the sky, he thought for a second about getting his jacket. But who knew if the little furball might leave in the time he needed to get upstairs and come back. Besides, the cat sat only a few feet away and Dean would take a hot shower later on anyway.

The cat seemed distracted, so instead of calling out for it and maybe startling it so much it would run away, Dean made a few quick moves and gently, but purposefully grabbed for it. A squeal showed that he’d seriously startled the pet, but before it could squirm away, Dean had his hand around its middle and pressed it close to his warm body. The poor thing was cold as a popsicle just out of the freezer. Hurrying back inside, Dean closed and locked the door, shaking the cold and rain from his clothes like a dog.

“Jesus, who left you out there, poor thing?”

Holding the cat up, he looked at the wet bundle and blue, sorrowful eyes looked right back at him. A pitiful _meow_ tugged right at Dean’s heart and with some soothing sounds he pressed the shivering mess back against his body to keep it warm. As the kitty snuggled into him, Dean moved it to just one hand and got his phone out. A quick glance over to Charlie’s apartment building showed him that the light in her windows was shining, so at least she was home.

His friend picked up after only two rings.

“What’s up, boss?”

“Charlie, what do I do with a wet and cold cat?”

“Ehm, what?”

“I just rescued a little stray from freezing or drowning to death outside, and –”

“Oh my God, the poor baby. Oh no, is it okay?”

“Well, it’s wet … and cold … as I just said …”

“Wait, it’s not one of mine, right?”

Dean grinned as he pictured Charlie wildly looking around, checking if all her furry friends were accounted for.

“Not unless you started putting fancy jewelry on them,” he replied, taking a closer look at the amulet hanging around the cat’s neck. It must be what had caught his eye in the first place. The thing seemed to almost glow from within, probably some expensive as fuck blue stone. And then the owner just let the poor thing outside when it was the end of the world weather wise. Someone had their priorities very, very wrong.

“You can totally give it a bath,” Charlie’s voice brought him back to the conversation. “Might be good to clean it anyway, no one knows where strays really were.”

“Okay.”

“Wait, you don’t have the right shampoo.”

“Can’t I use –”

“No, Dean Winchester, you do _not_ use human shampoo for animals, God.”

“Okay.”

“Come to think of it, you don’t have food either …”

“I have milk.”

“Oh my _God_ , do you want to kill it? Cats can’t stomach milk, Jesus.”

“Okay.”

“And you don’t have a litter box either.”

“Charlie, I wasn’t planning on letting it move in.”

“Oh yeah, sure, just tell it that, maybe it will wait to poop until the next time it’s outside.”

“Ehm …”

“You know what, just take it upstairs and put it in the tub with some warm water. I’ll be there in three.”

“Charlie, you don’t –”

The line was dead before he could finish his argument and Dean just stared at the phone for a second before looking back down at the trusting cat in his arms. “Well, looks like I would’ve killed you within seconds if it weren’t for Charlie.”

“Meow.”

“You don’t have to agree with me. That’s really rude.”

Blue eyes stared back at him and he couldn’t help but smile.

“Alright then, let’s get you warm and cleaned up.”

 

~*~

 

When Charlie arrived a short while later, she was carrying what seemed to be the entire interior of a cat shop.

“Okay, here’s the shampoo. This is food and some bowls, litter box with some litter – sorry, it’s just the rest from my stash, I need to go shopping tomorrow. But I couldn’t carry more anyway. These are some treats and something to play with,” she added, holding up something that looked like a mouse. “And also a brush for after the bath. I think this is everything you’ll need for one night.”

Dean waited with his reply for Charlie to actually look at him and not the bathroom counter she’d just completely filled with cat related stuff. How had she carried all that? When she finally looked at him, Dean grinned.

“I think this will last for a cat’s lifetime, but thanks.”

“Hardy har har. You have no idea how much these little monsters can eat if you let them.”

Instead of answering, Dean reached for her to give him the shampoo. His other hand was occupied holding the cat. So far, it didn’t seem to have a problem with the water it was currently in, but who knew. He really didn’t fancy having to chase a wet cat around his loft.

As he put a little dollop of shampoo on the cat’s head, blue eyes looked up at him in an accusing manner. It only made Dean chuckle.

“Sorry, buddy. I’ve got no idea where you were and I don’t wanna risk you carrying anything of that inside.”

Gently, he started massaging the cat, making sure it was thoroughly lathered in suds. Despite the grumpy start and the wetness, halfway through the cat started to purr and closed its eyes in obvious pleasure.

“It’s such a cutie,” Charlie said, sitting down on the tub, a towel ready on her lap. “Oh, why didn’t you take off the amulet? It looks expensive.”

“Well, be my guest and try. But wait ‘till my hands are far away from him.”

“Him? Winchester, did you actually check or are you just assuming your new buddy is a dude?”

Chuckling, Dean cleaned his hands in the warm water before taking the shower head and carefully started to clean the cat.

“Didn’t have to go check, I saw his balls. And with the amulet, let me just tell you that these scratches,” he added, holding up his right hand, “did not happen when I first took him in.”

“He scratched you the moment you tried to take the amulet off?” Charlie didn’t sound convinced.

Carefully letting his fingers glide through the fur on one side until the water had washed away all the suds, Dean then gestured towards the amulet and said once more, “Be my guest.” He even threw in a wink as if to challenge her. And Charlie took it.

She started out with petting the cat’s head, scratching behind its ear, and while it wasn’t purring as it had when Dean had done so, it still seemed to like the attention. Charlie was making cute little noises at the cat, seemingly to keep it calm. But all that was for naught the moment her hand wandered towards the collar with the pendant. The cat’s attitude changed within a nanosecond, its paw slapping at Charlie’s hand while it was hissing at her in clear warning.

Charlie yelped and almost fell in the tub, having Dean roaring with laughter.

“Next time I tell you something, you better believe me.”

“Shut up, Winchester.”

“You shut up,” Dean replied, still grinning and going back to his task at hand.

Once the cat was completely clean, he took the towel from Charlie and gently wrapped the furball to pick it out of the tub.

“So, I was thinking,” Charlie began, as she followed Dean into his living room, bringing some of the cat stuff with her. “Maybe I should take him?”

“What?” Dean exclaimed, instantly pulling his new friend closer to his chest. “Why?”

“Ehm, in case you forgot, but you’re allergic to cat hair.”

“Thanks for the reminder,” he replied, readjusting the furball that had started to squirm just now. “But I’ll be fine. I’m on meds against it. Have been for years now.”

“Wait, what?”

Charlie ask, stopping on her way to the kitchen.

Dean let himself fall on his comfy couch, the bundle still in his arms, and started to gently rub the fur try. It only took a few seconds before the content purrs were heard once more.

“Charlie, do you really think I could be friends with you if I weren’t?” Chuckling at her stunned expression, he was quick to continue. “I know you wash your hair regularly, as well as your clothes and you probably make damn sure they don’t get any fur on them. But you live with five cats. Do you really think you don’t carry _some_ of their hairs on you at any time of the day?”

“I …”

“It’s alright, really. I don’t mind.”

There was a suspicious silence and when Dean looked up at her, he actually saw tears in her eyes. And they were not tears of joy.

“Oh, no, Charlie please. Don’t cry. It’s okay, really.”

“But … you’re already taking … all these … and it’s all –”

“Those other meds are _not_ your fault. Stop thinking that way,” he commanded, his voice as gentle as could be while he still tried to get his point across. “It could’ve happened on any hunt.”

“But it happened when you –”

“And I would do it a thousand times over, now stop it. It’s not like I’m not happy with the lives we all have now. That you’re actually still in it!”

As always Charlie didn’t seem convinced and his usually fierce and fiery friend suddenly looked small and about to crumble. Carefully shifting the bundle in his arms, he got back up and made his way over to the redhead to take her into his arms.

She hugged him back, clinging to him while making sure not to squash the cat.

Letting the hug go on for a minute, he finally kissed the top of her head and whispered, “It’s not your fault. I’m okay. You know that, don’t you?”

Only once she nodded into his chest did he squeeze her once more before letting go. Charlie quickly wiped away her tears and petted the cat again.

“You’ll have to name him,” she said and Dean took the change of topic.

“Ehm, he’s not mine. First thing in the morning I’ll make sure to find his owner. Oh, would be great if you could open up the shop in that case.”

“Sure thing. But until then, what do you want to call him? You can’t keep calling him ‘the cat’.”

“Why not?”

Charlie only rolled her eyes before continuing her way to the kitchen, putting all the cat food and little bowls on his counter. She got a paper towel out to put on the floor. Filling one bowl with water, she filled the other with the content of one little food container, before putting both bowls on the paper towel. All the while, she ignored Dean’s admittedly stupid question, leaving him no other choice but to think. Looking back into those blue eyes, Dean was strangely reminded of Cas. The man’s eyes had almost the exact shade of blue as the cat’s in his arms. And wasn’t it just pathetic that he could still compare those colors even a week after he’d last seen the man?

Thinking of Cas and all his studies on Witchcraft, one name popped into Dean’s head.

“How about Salem?”

“You mean like the cat from that TV show?”

_Shit, was it that obvious?_

“No! No, ‘course not,” Dean argued right away. “It’s … ehm … you know, Salem like that … town … city … the one with the … witchcraft trials.”

_Yeah … that didn’t sound convincing._

It was obvious how hard Charlie tried to keep her laughter in, so Dean gave her a withering look. “Shut up.”

That only seemed to crack his friend up completely, and cause her to topple over with laughter.

Trying to ignore her, Dean paid attention to Salem – screw the origin of the name, it fitted him. The cat was getting squirmy in his arms and it took Dean a moment to realize it was because he was trying to get to the food. Carefully setting him down, he released him from the towel and watched as Salem made a beeline for the food, gobbling it down in a few quick bites.

“Ohh, poor baby,” Charlie said, kneeling down next to Salem and carefully caressing him. He didn’t even react, so focused was he on his food. “It must have been a while since he’s last gotten anything.”

“Should we give him more?”

“No, not for now or he’ll be stuffed. Maybe put something down before you go to sleep so he can eat in case he gets hungry again over night.”

Dean nodded in agreement, watching Salem lapping up the water thirstily, while Charlie was stroking him. He was just wondering if maybe Salem was distracted enough for them to take away the pendant, when Charlie’s fingers stopped their caresses just close enough to the collar. Instantly, Salem stopped drinking and started to hiss in warning, his fur standing up.

“Okay, okay, I won’t touch it,” Charlie gave in, lifting her hands in surrender. Since Salem didn’t relax again, Charlie got up and stepped over towards Dean. Only then did he start drinking again. “I wonder what it is with the amulet.”

Shrugging, Dean moved to get out of the kitchen. “No idea. I’ll just leave it.”

“Yeah, but maybe it has the address from his owner on there somewhere.”

“If you wanna risk another set of scratches to find out, be my guest.”

“Funny, Winchester,” Charlie replied, following him back to the bathroom. While Charlie set up the litter box, Dean cleaned his tub. Salem’s bath had left it with muddy water and Dean was thankful that he’d actually given him a bath, seeing what must’ve been all in that fur.

“Oh no,” Charlie exclaimed just as she was finishing up. “I forgot a sleeping pillow or something like that.”

“It’s okay, really. Salem can sleep wherever; he won’t need a special pillow. If it’s true what I hear about cats, they usually ignore those anyway, right?”

Sighing, Charlie picked up the fur brush to play with it. “Yeah, probably. Oh, look who’s there.”

Dean turned around, seeing Salem peeking inside the bathroom. Charlie kneeled down, beckoning the black cat towards her. Despite having hissed at her twice now, he still went willingly, sniffing at the brush in her hand.

“Let’s see if you’ll like this. Three of mine can’t get enough of it and the other two always run from the room and hide as soon as they see it.” While she was speaking, she started gently letting the brush run through Salem’s fur. He looked skeptical at first, but soon he was lying down and turning around, trying to get her to brush his tummy. Dean joined in with Charlie’s chuckling.

“Aww, he’s such a cutie. You sure you don’t wanna let me handle that?”

“You already have five cats, don’t you dare take mine away.”

“Oh?” Charlie exclaimed, looking up at him with mock surprise. “Your cat? I thought finding his owner was the first thing on your to do list.”

“Yeah, but not because I want to get rid of him.” Weirdly enough, the thought of finding Salem’s owner and having to give him away already gave Dean an uneasy feeling. He ignored it for now, watching as Charlie showed him how to take care of a cat.

His friend stayed for another twenty minutes, before saying good night, promising once more to open up the bakery in the morning so Dean would be able to take Salem to the vet and then try to find his owner.

Once they were alone, Dean ate a small dinner and jumped in the shower real quick. Ready for the night, he picked Salem up from where he was pacing around in the living room and sat him down on the foot of his bed. “I hope you don’t snore or else you’ll have to sleep on the couch. And no claws in my face, I have enough scars.”

Salem only looked at him with big, blue eyes, so Dean scratched him behind his ears once more before getting under the blankets. He could feel Salem moving around, probably trying to find a comfortable position, but all too soon, his tiredness took over and Dean was off to the land of dreams.

 

 

Cas waited until he was sure Dean was fast asleep, his breath slowly calming down and becoming more regular. And then he waited a few minutes more, just to be absolutely sure.

Carefully, he took one step after another, but his small weight hardly had any impact on the mattress or the blanket. He sat down next to the pillow, looking at Dean for a long time. How often had he dreamed about being this close to the gorgeous man? And how cruel a joke was it that it happened only now, when he wasn’t himself anymore?

Lying down so his gaze was still trained on Dean, Cas once again beat himself up for acting so rash on that fateful day. Hearing that Dean was apparently a Hunter or at least a retired one and listening to him talking about killing witches … he’d simply freaked. He’d walked around for hours, trying to calm down. It wasn’t until he got home that he finally realized a very important fact: Dean was a _good person_. As a witch from a coven so in tune with nature, Cas was able to feel a person’s inner core once he got close to them. He’d been in Dean’s company often enough to have long since realized that he had one of the purest souls Cas had ever come in contact with. Armed with the recent knowledge that the man used to be a Hunter, that was definitely saying something. Cas had wanted to go back to Dean the next day to apologize for his weird behavior and for fleeing without paying, as he’d only later realized.

That night, however, all hell had broken loose.

His coven had already heard about the witch that was on a killing spree. Cas felt ashamed for a moment that he’d totally forgotten about the threat over his shock at Dean being a Hunter. There had been no time to dwell on it and together with Metatron, his predecessor in the position of being the coven’s Keeper of the Grimoires, he’d searched the coven’s books the whole night for possible reasons why a witch would want the hearts of other witches. Others of their coven had joined in, searching those books they were allowed to touch. Their Elders had joined in, and together their coven had discussed it.

And found a possible reason.

One that had let to Cas’ current situation.

Because his coven was quite sure that the age didn’t matter in what the rogue one was looking for. No, it was a certain type of witch and Cas had been one of them. Gabriel, their Master of Herbs and Potions, had found a possible spell to protect them and the two brothers had decided to let Cas be the guinea pig in case something went wrong.

And God had it all gone wrong.

Moving his head just so, Cas was able to get a whiff of Dean’s pure smell, just the slightest bit sugary from all the treats he was surrounded with all day. Crawling slightly closer, Cas could also feel the warmth radiating from him and not caring about how wrong this was, he pressed his currently furry head into Dean’s neck, basking in the feeling of finally, _finally_ being able to touch this perfect human being. He let the scent surround him and calm him; let it push away all the memories and his anger at Metatron and how stupid he himself had been to let Gabe create a potion and cast a spell without checking if the translation had been correct. He’d trusted Metatron …

A whimpering noise startled Cas awake. Slowly getting used to the fact that he had better sight now that he was a cat, Cas looked around for the source, realizing he must have fallen asleep pressed close to Dean. That really was a mistake that could cost him much. But it was still dark outside, no sight of dawn approaching any time soon.

“No, don’t,” Dean’s voice suddenly sliced through the quiet room, making Cas jump up. He meant to apologize for cuddling up to the man, only to hear a pathetic _meow_ leave his mouth. Damn.

“Sammy, run.”

_Sammy? His brother?_

Confused, Cas looked at Dean and realized that the man still had his eyes closed. He was moving his head uncontrollably and his body was trembling, sweat on his forehead glistening in the moonlight.

“Don’t, please.”

It took Cas a few more heartbeats before at last he realized what was going on.

The trembling of Dean’s body had intensified, he was still whimpering and pleading with someone only he saw. And Cas felt powerless. So, so powerless. He wanted to shake him awake, but how could he do that without hands. Trying to nudge him with his paws only led to Dean thrashing around for real, kicking off his bedding, arms flailing. Cas shied away for a moment, but as he saw silent tears leak out of Dean’s eyes, he acted purely on instinct.

Jumping on Dean’s chest, he walked up to his face and started licking Dean’s chin. He’d seen dogs do this for their owners to wake them up, so why shouldn’t a cat be able to do it as well?

Dean’s whimpering intensified for a moment, before his eyes snapped open all off a sudden. He sat up so fast Cas could do nothing else but to jump off of him and even off the bed, there was so much momentum behind it.

“What …?”

“Meow,” Cas answered and as Dean’s head appeared over the side of the bed, he looked up at him with concern.

Dean seemed to need a few seconds to realize that he really was seeing a black cat and a moment longer to remember the events of the day. Then, “Salem?”

“Meow.”

“Did … did you just wake me from my nightmare?”

“Meow.”

“Wow ... Ok. Right. Thanks, I guess,” Dean said, throwing his legs over the side of his bed. As he looked over to his bedside table, Cas did the same. In red letters, he could read the time: 2:07 AM. He had no idea how early Dean had to get up as a baker, but he was pretty sure it wasn’t _that_ early. A warm hand landed softly on his head, stroking him. Without consciously deciding to, he started to purr, loving how gentle Dean could be with his hands …

_Aaaaand that sounds weird as hell while I’m a cat._

But who gave a fuck?

Like any good and sane cat would do, Cas started rubbing himself against Dean’s bare legs.

“I had no idea having a pet would have such benefits. Thanks, little buddy.”

“Meow.”

Cas felt movement and the next moment, Dean was getting up and made his way to the bathroom. He had no idea how a normal cat would react now. Would they stay? Would they follow? He just didn’t know, but if he wasn’t mistaken, neither did Dean. After all, it seemed that thanks to his allergies he’d never had one. And wasn’t it an interesting fact to learn that Dean was allergic to cats? Because with that information, his current form made so much more sense all of a sudden –

_Nooo, don’t go there. Don’t think about it!_

He heard the toilet flush and water running and Dean was back in the room before Cas could have a minor panic attack. The man sat back on his bed and reached for him, picking him up before lying back down.

“Is it bad of me that I actually hope I won’t find your owner?” he asked, as he lay flat on his back, Cas on his chest. His eyes were already closed. “I think I could get quite used to you.”

“Meow.”

A smile played around Dean’s lips and it was the most adorable thing Cas had ever seen.

“Well, happy you agree with me.”

Cas felt the hand stroking over his back becoming slower and slower, before at last it stopped all together as Dean fell asleep again. With a contented sigh, Cas snuggled into Dean’s chest and purring softly, he followed suit.


	4. Chapter 4

** Chapter 3 **

 

 

Dean couldn’t remember the last time he had rested so well. When his alarm went off long before dawn, he actually felt awake. Silently, he thanked his new little buddy for that and he allowed himself a few more quiet minutes in bed, just stroking the soft fur of the sleeping cat on his chest.

After he’d spend a few hours in the kitchen, the day was spent driving around with Salem, safely put into a carrier borrowed from Charlie so he wouldn’t scratch the upholstery of his precious Impala. The vet was first on his list and Dean was pretty sure the cat was planning his murder when the lady stuck a finger in its butt hole for a thorough full body check. He’d had no idea cats could squint like that.

Sadly (or maybe luckily) the vet had no idea who Salem belonged to. She told Dean that, should he decide to keep the cat, castration was usually the best way to go. Dean was sure he only imagined the horror he saw in Salem’s eyes, but if it really was there, he could understand the cat. The thought of castration alone was enough to have Dean unconsciously reach for his own jewels.

“Oh, hell no, no one touches the little guy’s balls!”

The vet didn’t even try to hide her rolling her eyes, and Dean could hear her mumble, “Men. Always the same with you lot,” as she continued to examine Salem. “Once he starts marking his territory in your flat and spraying everywhere, you’ll find vasectomy is not such a bad thing.”

When she reached for the amulet to inspect it for a possible name of the owner, she got the same reaction as Dean and Charlie had the day before. However, the vet was used to bitchy pets and so she made short work of him and had Salem in a very uncomfortable looking grip, telling Dean to check. He could see real panic in his cat’s eyes, which confused him more than anything.

“It’s alright, Salem. I’m not going to take it off. I’ll just check if there’s a name there, alright?”

It was stupid, of course. It wasn’t as if the cat could understand him and it most certainly wasn’t as if he was scared someone would take that shiny thing away. So the most rational explanation for Salem calming down in that moment was Dean’s soothing voice and without any further hindrance, Dean was able to reach for the blue shining pendant. It was warm and felt light in his hand. Much lighter than he’d thought. This must be some really crazy fancy shit right there. Sadly (or maybe luckily) there was no name there; the stone actually had no flat side for any engravings. Rather, it was round and looked much more like a raindrop now that Dean was inspecting it closely.

Feeling Salem squirm, he figured they’d tried his patience long enough and let go of the pendant. He could have sworn he saw his cat relax the moment he’d let go of the stone.

Their next stop was home where Dean printed out flyers that held Salem’s picture (maybe other cats couldn’t squint, this one definitely could) and the bakery’s phone number. After that, he drove to the local animal shelter and all the vets within a reasonable distance to ask if they knew Salem and to put up a flyer whenever they didn’t. On their way home, he made a quick stop and bought everything Salem might need in the next few days … okay, maybe weeks … yes, maybe he did go a bit overboard, sue him.

Back home, he also plastered his street with flyers, putting them up on every tree and asked in the other stores if they would hang one up in their windows. No one could tell him he didn’t at least try.

He was, however, man enough to admit that with every day that went by without anyone calling to ask for Salem, he felt lighter and lighter. Until the little furball had entered his life, he hadn’t even realized just how lonely he’d been. He’d always _known_ it, but realizing it? Totally different thing. Before Salem, he would usually spend his evenings searching for new recipes, eat a silent dinner while watching TV, and then go to bed. He still did all that, but now, he actually had someone to talk to. The best thing was that Salem even answered him. So, there was nothing unusual about conversations just like the one that happened a few nights later while Dean was staring into his open fridge.

“What should I make for dinner tonight?” he asked as Salem appeared next to him, looking up as if to check the fridge’s content as well.

“Meow.”

Chuckling, Dean looked down at the black furball. “Yeah, I knew you’d say that, but you know: I’m really tired of tuna. Pick something else.”

“Meow.”

“Nope, no cheese for you.”

“Meow.”

“Don’t get angry with me, you can’t have cheese,” Dean said, looking incredulously at Salem for even asking.

His furball looked right back. “Meeeooww.”

“Yes, I know you like cheese,” Dean replied, not yet giving in. “But you’re a cat.”

There was another staring battle, those blue eyes boring into his. Until …

“Meow.”

Sighing deeply, Dean pulled out the cheese. “Finnneee.”

It was these little things that made his evenings all the more enjoyable. Not to forget about his nights. Because ever since Salem shared his bed with him, his nightmares had diminished.  They were still there, yes. But Salem had already become a master of detecting them so early on he could pull Dean out of them within seconds. And unlike what Dean had heard about other cats, Salem did not complain when he would pull him close afterwards and cuddle up to him, falling asleep to soft purrs.

Even his days became brighter, Salem quickly becoming a new feature of the bakery. The cat would stay in Dean’s bed every morning even after Dean was up. But once the sun rose, he’d find his way into the bakery. He would roam around the front, the kitchen, and Dean’s office and the customers just loved the cute black kitty. Come evening, he would disappear for a while. Dean hadn’t yet been able to figure out why, or where he went to. However, he was always back around the time Charlie and Dean were cleaning up in the kitchen.

There were only two things that overshadowed his days. One was the still unsuccessful witch hunt. Jesse and Cesar were following a lead, sure the witch wasn’t in Kansas anymore. The local coven wasn’t sure about her whereabouts either and from what he’d heard, they were still looking for her and protecting all the witches that may be in danger. His contact had formulated it in such a weird way, it had Dean prompted to ask if they had another theory than the youth of the victims. “We do,” was all the answer he’d gotten.

It hadn’t been until Sam had rushed into the bakery, two thick books under his arm and steering Dean into his office, that he’d gotten an answer.

“They aren’t after the younger ones – since when do you have a cat?” Sam interrupted himself as Salem jumped onto the table, startling the giant.

Dean scratched the cat behind its ear, giving it a fond smile. “This is Salem. Found him three nights ago and so far no one has contacted me wanting him back.”

“Salem?” Sam asked in disbelieve, but clearly amused. “Like … like that speaking cat from the TV show you allegedly never watched?”

“Didn’t you want to tell me something about the witch?”

“Alright.” It was obvious that Sam wouldn’t let him live this down, but for now they had more pressing matters. Opening the books to pages he had marked previously, Sam went into Hunter mode. “So get this: it seems age isn’t important here. I’ve been over the files Cesar and Jesse showed me, but there’s absolutely no pattern visible.”

“But the age –”

“Ranges from as early as ten years to a 26-year-old. I’m sorry, the guys might think it has something to do with age, but you can’t tell me that.”

Dean made an agreeing noise before Sam continued.

“Instead, I found this in two different books – Salem, would you please move,” Sam interrupted himself once more, gently pushing the cat away. It seemed to be very interested in the contents of the books. Chuckling fondly, Dean picked up the furball and cuddled him close, even giving him a kiss on the back of his head. When Sam still didn’t continue, Dean looked over, only to be met with a highly amused face.

“What?”

Huffing out a laugh, but otherwise letting it go for now, Sam went back to the books. “There seems to be a possibility of gaining everlasting youth. For that, a witch would need ‘a heart of pureness and innocence’ as it says in this book. In the other one, it’s referred to quite directly as ‘virginity’.”

“They were virgins?” Dean asked, just to be clear, while getting a better hold on his cat that had started to squirm in his arms. “Salem, stop it, please.”

“I guess so, yes. It’s the only rational explanation Eileen and I could find.”

“Wow,” Dean made. “26 and still a virgin? That must really suck – ouch!” he exclaimed as two paws clawed into his hand, eager to be let go. Out of reflex, he did let go and Salem landed on his four paws, already in motion to get some space between them. “Salem!”

“Looks like your cat thought that was a douchebag comment.”

“Really, Sammy?”

“Hey, not everybody’s been such a man-whore as you were.”

“I …” Dean tried to argue, but seeing how there wasn’t really a point in lying, he gave in when he saw Sammy’s raised eyebrow. Instead, he turned his concentration back to the books.

Sam was nice enough to let it go. Seemed he was getting soft in his old age. “So, the hearts of virgins. I don’t know if she needs a certain amount or if something was wrong with those hearts she got or if maybe she’s doing the spell for more people than just her, but for some reason, one heart doesn’t seem enough for her.”

“Could she be selling these youth potions or whatever?”

“Good point. Yeah, guess that could be a possibility. Have you heard from Cesar and Jesse again?”

“No. I’ll call them later and let them know. Although I don’t think this new information will help them in actually catching the witch.”

“True,” Sam agreed, closing the books again. “They still up in Nebraska?”

“Yeah, and to be quite frank: I’m relieved they’ve left. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I like those guys and all. But … having them hunting in the area?”

“Well, you told them to keep their hands off of the local witches. You think they would’ve gone against that?”

“Don’t know,” Dean mused, leaning against his desk. “But I’d rather not risk it. I don’t know everything, but I know enough to have an understanding of how important they all are to our city. And even if they weren’t: they’re good. They don’t deserve to be hunted and killed.”

“I know. But, Dean, you have to realize that it took us years to understand that there was also good in the supernatural world.”

“I know that, Sammy. Trust me, I know. And it makes me sick to think that, about ten years back if we’d come through this city and Dad had ordered me to kill them, I would’ve done so. I would’ve killed every last one of them. Hell, he wouldn’t have even had to order it. I’d’ve done it on my own.”

“We’ve changed, Dean. Dad might not have known better, but we do. And we teach it to the younger Hunters. It will take time, but ‘till then, we’re here to protect the local supernatural beings.”

Dean could only nod to that, memories of lives he’d taken that might have been innocent dancing across his inner sights. It was a soft tongue licking at his naked forearm that brought him back. He looked down at his desk and saw Salem there, huge blue eyes studying him.

“Hey buddy, come to apologize for freaking out?”

He held out his hand, letting the cat sniff it, before Salem rubbed his head against his palm, purring loudly. Not able to stay mad at him at all, Dean picked him up and cuddled him close once more.

“What’s with the blue amulet on his collar?” Sam asked, trying to touch it, but Dean was quick to pull Salem out of his reach.

“Don’t touch it, he doesn’t like that. I’m not kidding,” he added when he saw his brother’s patent bitch-face. “He gave me a few scratches and tried to do the same with Charlie and the vet.”

“And you don’t think that’s weird?”

“Course I do. What do you take me for, an amateur Hunter?”

“No, an old and retired Hunter.”

Moving Salem just enough in his arms, he flipped his brother off for that comment, before explaining. “I ran a few tests on it the other night, but nothing showed up.” When Salem moved his head to look at him, he rubbed his own forehead against the cat’s. “I guess it’s just something from his former owner he’s really fond of and doesn’t want to lose.”

Sammy’s chuckle made him look back up at his brother.

“What?”

“I just never knew you were such a sap when it came to pets.”

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me.”

“Wait, you’re not even going to deny it?”

“Don’t you have somewhere to be, Sammy?”

Laughing at him, Sam patted his shoulder once, before indeed leaving his brother alone.

 

~*~

 

The second thing that threw a shadow right back over his days was the fact that there was still no sign of Cas. The cute professor was still MIA and Dean had no idea how to reach him.

“Well, you know where he works, can’t you ask there?”

“The university is closed for winter break,” Dean replied sullenly, ignoring Charlie’s knowing gaze. Yes, okay, so what if he had a crush on this guy? It wasn’t as if he could do anything about it.

Yet, it seemed as if Charlie had finally enough after being quiet for the past few days. “Okay Winchester, seriously. Enough is enough. When will you finally admit that you’re crushing on Cas. And hard at that?”

“I –”

He was interrupted by a crashing sound and the yowling of a cat that made them both jump. Turning around, they saw Salem sitting on the floor, shaking out his fur. Next to him was a broken glass that held the remains of a jar of vanilla beans.

“Oh, no, Salem,” Dean exclaimed, hastily drying his hands of the dirty dishwater. “Did you hurt yourself, buddy?”

“Meow.”

“Wait, don’t move,” he instructed, already on his way over to pick up his cat so it wouldn’t step into the glass. “Did you just fall off the shelf?”

“Meow,” Salem replied, snuggling close to Dean. Charlie was already getting a dustpan and brush while Dean looked back to the shelf the glass had been standing on. It was about his height, so the fall had not been as bad as it could’ve been. But it certainly wasn’t nice either.

Carrying Salem over to his office desk he put him down to examine him up close. “Okay, let’s see if you’re alright.”

“Of course he’s alright. He’s a cat, Dean. Cats always land on their feet.”

Not listening to Charlie, Dean thoroughly checked every paw before being satisfied Salem was fine. Picking him up again, he walked back into the kitchen, cuddling him close. Once Salem started to lick his neck, he was sure the furball was alright.

“All the glass gone?”

“Sure thing,” Charlie replied, scratching Salem under his chin. “Did Dean kiss all your booboos?”

“Very funny, Charlie. I bet you were even worse with your first cat.”

Ignoring her chuckling, Dean set Salem back on the floor and after the furball had rubbed his back against Dean’s legs, he moved back to the shelf. For the five days he’d had been with Dean by now, this had been one of Salem’s favorite places.

“Just … be careful,” Dean called after him, pinching Charlie when she started to full out laugh.

“I’m sorry,” she wheezed, “but you sound like a concerned dad.”

Dean watched Salem just for a moment longer, before they both returned to their kitchen scrubbing tasks. At least Charlie wasn’t annoying him anymore with her talk about Cas.

Once it was all done, Charlie gave him a kiss goodbye on his cheek and then she did the same to Salem. Smiling fondly, Dean watched as she left the kitchen.

He was just about to move over to pick up Salem to head upstairs when he sensed it.

“No,” he breathed out, sinking to the floor as fast and carefully as he could. “Charlie,” was all he was able to press out, not sure if it had been loud enough for his friend to hear before his world went black.

 

 

Cas was still on a little high. Dean seriously had a crush on him? That was … that was amazing. And so, so fucking unfair, because of course Fate was a giant bitch.

His turbulent emotions and thoughts all came to a screeching halt the moment he saw Dean sink to the floor, calling out for Charlie.

“Dean,” he screamed, but damn it, of course all that was heard from him was a pathetic _meow_. Jumping down from the shelf, he ran over to the man that by now was lying on the floor, shaking so wildly Cas was scared for his life.

“Meow!”

He wanted to reach for Dean, help him, _do anything_ , but the moment he tried to get closer, two small hands wrapped around his middle and he was pressed against someone else. “No, Salem, don’t. We can’t help him right now.”

Even in his crazed state of worry, Cas could feel Charlie was trembling slightly herself, her voice thick with tears.

Why wasn’t she helping him? Why wasn’t she doing anything? Why did she just let it happen?

What on earth was happening?

It felt like hours had passed before Dean’s body slowly calmed down. His breathing was heavy and tears were leaking out of his eyes. Cas struggled to be freed of Charlie’s grip, but only once the shaking of Dean’s body was down to a minimum and his eyes fluttered, did Cas feel Charlie’s grip loosening. He was by Dean’s side within a heartbeat, sniffing and licking away the sweat and generally just pressing close.

He was no expert, but he was pretty sure what he’d just witnessed had been a seizure.

“’m fine,” he heard Dean’s raspy voice. It did nothing to soothe Cas’ worries for the man. He kept licking every inch of skin he could reach, pressing close against his chest and purred, knowing by now it was what helped Dean relax after his nightmares.

A still slightly trembling arm wound around his small body, Dean pressing him close as he tried to sit up.

“Here, let me help you,” came Charlie’s voice out of nowhere. She supported him as he sat up and leaned against the kitchen counter behind him, closing his eyes again and trying to calm his breathing. “Drink,” Charlie ordered, pressing a glass of water to his lips. Dean listened to her without any resistance, gulping down the water in a few gulps. “How bad was it?”

“Not too bad. A two or three maybe.”

_A what?_

What were they talking about?

Dean had his eyes still closed, the talking obviously straining him.

“Your meds …”

“I took them.”

“Then they’re not doing a good job.”

“I know.”

The two friends were quiet after that, just letting Dean catch his breath. It gave Cas time to catch up with all these new information, as he sat in Dean’s lap, just pressing close to give him some comfort.

Dean was suffering from seizures.

Was that what had ended his days as an active Hunter?

And the meds? Cas had never seen him take them, but he would make damn sure to check the loft for them the next time he would be able to. Apparently they weren’t working and Cas needed to know what was in them. Maybe Gabe was able to mix a better potion than whatever the doctors had given him.

And were those the meds Charlie had talked about the night Dean had taken him in? The ones she apparently thought were her fault he had to take?

There were so many questions and he couldn’t ask a single damn one of them.

The three of them sat there for a few more minutes until Dean’s heartbeat was finally at a normal pace once more. Charlie helped him to get up while Dean was hugging Cas so close he almost couldn’t breathe. Cas didn’t mind and let the man draw strength and comfort from him.

Upstairs, Charlie sat Dean down on the tub and ran a bath for him. Cas watched from the counter as she actually helped Dean to strip. He knew he should look away, because this was so, so wrong to do, but Cas still couldn’t bring himself to avert his eyes. So far, he’d always tried to be modest and didn’t watch whenever Dean dressed or undressed in the bedroom. But his concern for the man overrode any inhibitions he usually had. Piece by piece Dean’s wonderful skin was revealed and if Cas had still been in his human form, he would have gasped. The former Hunter was covered in scars, but none of them took away from how truly magnificent he looked.

There was nothing sexy about the way Cas was able to see him naked for the first time. Charlie was nothing if not practical, having him stripped down in no time. “I can do it, Charlie, I’m fine,” Dean complained halfway through, but there was not one bit of resistance, so the redhead simply ignored him.

Once the last piece of clothing was gone, she helped him into the warm water and as he leaned back and closed his eyes, she brushed a kiss over his forehead.

“I’ll make you a light dinner.”

“’kay.”

Before Cas could react, Charlie picked him up and carried him with her, closing the bathroom door. He couldn’t understand why she wouldn’t leave him with Dean, until he felt the first tear in his fur. Looking up, he saw the tears running down her face.

“This is all my fault,” Charlie whimpered, pressing her face into his black fur. She was obviously seeking comfort and Cas tried to give it to her. He purred and started to lick her face, just as he’d done with Dean minutes before. “Oh, Salem. If it weren’t for me … I did this to him …”

Intensifying his purring, he pressed closer to her, licking some more over her chin. Whatever it was Charlie thought she’d done, Cas knew Dean didn’t blame her for it, so neither would he.

It took a long while until Charlie finally gulped in a few deep breaths to calm herself and moved towards the kitchen. She put some cat food into his bowl and refreshed his water, before starting on a sandwich for Dean. She added some sliced carrots and cucumbers to the side and looked down at Salem. “Knowing the man, he’ll tell me to go home before he eats. So you make sure he also eats the greens, okay?”

“Meow.”

“Good boy.”

While Charlie tidied up the kitchen, Cas made his way back over to the bathroom. He had heard the bathroom door open, and indeed, there was Dean. A towel wrapped around his hips, he was leaning heavily on his dresser as he got out a pair of boxer shorts and a t-shirt.

Turning around, his eye fell on the cat. “Hey, buddy. Sorry for scaring you like that.” He dropped the towel, pulled on the boxer shorts and sat down on the bed with a heavy sigh. Cas was next to him in a heartbeat, not caring that the man was still basically naked. Cuddling close, he started to purr again.

“Thank you, Salem. For helping me.” A kiss landed on his head and Cas sighed internally. How he wished he could feel these kisses in human form.

The loose shirt fell over him, startling him. He could hear as well as feel Dean chuckling, while he tried to free himself from between Dean’s naked body and the t-shirt he’d put on.

“Glad to see you well again.” Charlie stepped into the room and put the plate with Dean’s dinner and a glass of water down. “Don’t forget to eat your rabbit food. I instructed Salem to make sure you’ll eat it.”

Gasping in pretend shock, Dean looked down at him. “Traitor.”

Cas gave him his best bitch-face, but while in his cat body, it only always seemed to amuse Dean. The man smiled at him before looking back at Charlie. “I’ll be fine, seriously. Thank you, Charlie.”

“You can sleep in tomorrow. I’ll get here early and start with the baking and then open the shop. But for now, is there anything else –”

“Charlie,” Dean interrupted, reaching for her hand and holding her close for a moment. “I’m fine, really. And this is _not_ your fault. I was stupid and careless for a moment and this is what it cost me. But it’s not your fault.”

The redhead gave him a tight smile and another kiss to his forehead. Telling them goodnight, she left the room and a few seconds later, Cas could hear the loft’s front door. It was clear as day that Charlie didn’t believe one word Dean had said.

A loud sigh from the man told him that Dean was thinking the same. “She beat herself up about it, didn't she?” Looking back up at Dean, Cas found those warm, green eyes trained on him, full of concern and sorrow. “No matter how often I tell her that it wasn’t her fault, she’ll never stop feeling guilty.”

“Meow.”

“Did she tell you what happened?”

“Meow.”

“Well, even if she did, I better tell you my version. She always makes it sound as if she herself hit me and left my head a fucked up mess.”

A concussion, of course. Cas had heard before how certain really bad head injuries could lead to this. As much as he wanted to hear the story, he also wanted Dean to eat, so he jumped out of his lap and onto the bedside table, nudging against the plate to shove it in Dean’s direction.

“Seriously? What, did Charlie train you or something?”

“Meow.”

“Alright, alright, I give in.”

Getting under his blankets and leaning back, Dean picked up the plate and took a big bite of his sandwich, while Cas lay down in his lap. Once Dean had eaten half of his dinner, even some of the greens, he took a break and started to talk again.

“Don’t know if cats know about the supernatural world, but I’ll just assume you do. So, there was this really nasty family, called the Stynes. Descendants of the legendary Frankenstein, if you could believe them. They, ehm. They wanted this very powerful book, called the Book of the Damned.”

At that, Cas peeked up. There was probably no witch in the world that didn’t know about that book.

“Charlie was the one who found it, somewhere in Spain, don’t know. Well, long story short, the Stynes found her while she was alone in a motel room. She’d found the key to translate the book and was sending us the file while we were on our way to her. Instead of running as I’d told her, she stayed just to make sure the full file was sent. So, the Stynes found her, but she held her ground long enough for Sammy and me to get there. It was one hell of a fight and somewhere in the middle of it, I was crashed against the wall behind the bathtub so hard, I passed out for a few minutes. Charlie found me, all sprawled out in the tub and covered in my own blood. She thought I was dead.”

Shivering at that thought, Cas pressed closer against him.

“I wasn’t, obviously. But my head suffered. It was a few days later that I had the first seizure. For the first time in years, Sammy took me to a hospital. Turned out I had a concussion, a friggin’ nasty one. Had to happen sooner or later, I guess … Anyway, something’s broken and that’s what causes the seizures. But the docs can’t really do anything about it. Not like fixing it for good, at least. The meds are supposed to help. Took a while ‘till we got the dosage right, but … yeah, I get them much less often now. But they still happen.”

He continued to eat and Cas already thought that was the end of the story, when Dean started once more.

“At first, I thought it wouldn’t affect my life as a Hunter. Man, was I wrong. It was on the hunt where we met Cesar and Jesse for the first time. We were hunting these nasty things called bisaans and I was in the middle of a fight with one, when I had another seizure.”

Dean finished his dinner and put the plate aside. Reaching for Cas, he picked him up and lay down, before putting Cas back on his chest. Stroking his fur, the former Hunter continued with his story.

“Cesar saved my life back then. I owe the man big time. I realized that I must have had some kind of guardian angel looking out for me, because otherwise I would have been six feet under. And probably for good.”

The statement confused Cas, but it wasn’t as if he could ask any questions, so he just kept listening.

“After that, I decided that my active hunting days were over. I chose to settle down here and for the first time in my life, do something that I wanted for myself, not for anyone else. And so far, it’s worked out pretty well for me. Sammy soon followed and so did Charlie. We’ve found our homes here, and what are a few seizures compared to finding a home for your family, right?”

The light tone didn’t convince Cas in the slightest, but there was nothing much he could do. Realizing story time was over for real this time, he carefully crawled up so he could snuggle into Dean’s neck. The soft chuckling from Dean became a delicious melody. With an evening as eventful as theirs, it was probably no wonder that it didn’t take long for both of them to fall asleep, huddled up together and each relaxing into the closeness of the other.


	5. Chapter 5

** Chapter 4 **

 

Dean must have forgotten to shut off the alarm, even though Charlie had told him to sleep in. But thank God for the alarm because Cas was pretty sure he would have slept in as well and he really didn’t want to picture what would have happened if he’d still been asleep once dawn was breaking. As it was, he stayed awake after Dean’s alarm, which the man had simply turned off and then ignored. He still had some time before he’d have to hide for a while. Usually, it was no problem, seeing how Dean was a baker and always downstairs long before the night turned into day. And in the evenings during twilight, he simply hid in the loft, hoping Dean wouldn’t choose that time to come upstairs.

Watching the sleeping man now, he couldn’t believe all he had learned about him in the past few days. Somewhere deep inside, he felt guilty about essentially spying on Dean. But then again, it wasn’t as if he was doing it on purpose. And the happiness he felt from the things he’d learned definitely weighed out the guilt.

For one: Dean liked him. It was a thought that equally made him fly high and made him feel even more miserable over his current situation. But it was what it was.

And two: Dean might’ve been a Hunter, but he knew there was good in the supernatural world as well. Granted, that didn’t mean he would choose to date a witch … but then again, it wasn’t as if that was an option at the moment anyway.

The only thing that made Cas angry, was Dean’s reaction to learning that the rogue witch was targeting virgin witches.

Because sadly, that was the same conclusion his coven had reached and the reason Cas was in his current state …

 

**_Almost two weeks earlier_ **

“Cassie, I found something.”

With that, Castiel’s older brother Gabe grabbed his wrist and pulled him towards his house. Inside, Gabe made a beeline for his laboratory, only stopping once he could reach for an almost clear potion. Knowing his brother all too well, Castiel didn’t complain or try to ask questions even once.

“I found a potion that, in combination with a spell, is supposed to protect the virgin witch in question.”

“How so?”

“Here,” Gabe replied, showing Castiel the spellbook. “Apparently, once a virgin witch drinks it and the spell is cast, the witch’s magic will be laid dormant for the time being. I take it that since the rogue one is specifically hunting witches this should do the trick. It also says that the protected witch won’t be traceable anymore, another plus. The protection spell, however, is only temporary. But hopefully it will give us enough time to find the rogue one without having to worry that she’ll snatch one of you.”

“I seriously hate Metatron’s writing,” Castiel threw in, having read over the potion and spell instructions while Gabe had summarized it. “This looks like a kid from elementary school wrote it.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Now that you’re our Keeper of the Grimoires you can go back over aaaaaall he’s done and do it better. But for now, would you please listen to what I’ve said?”

Sighing, Castiel tried once again to make more sense out of the scribble, but it seemed that Gabriel had gotten the gist of it. “So, I take it you want me as a guinea pig?”

“So to speak,” his brother said grinning, holding up the potion towards Castiel.

An uneasy feeling rumbled in Castiel’s stomach, but he ignored it. No matter how Metatron had translated the old Latin texts, it still got the message across that this was a protection spell for virgin witches and that was all that mattered. He would rather his brother tested it on him than on any of the younger virgins. Besides, they were running out of time if the witch was as close as their coven’s contact said. Not that Castiel knew who it was, but they’d searched for a solution ever since they’d been informed last night. And if Gabe had found something to protect all the virgins in their coven, then at least the rest of his brethren could stop worrying about them and go on to actively searching the witch.

“Unless of course you just wanna go out there now and get your cherry popped, you know.”

Scowling at Gabe for the insensitive remark, Castiel shoved all his concerns aside, grabbed for the potion, and downed it in one go. At least it didn’t taste disgusting.

Waiting for a second, he could feel the potion taking root in his magical core. He then nodded for Gabe to continue. The Master of Herbs and Potions picked up the spellbook and started chanting in the old, dead language. It wasn’t a long spell, just something about protection of purity. Castiel could see the whiskey colored mist around Gabe’s hand grow stronger and stronger to the point where it was actually dancing. The moment Gabe finished chanting the spell, he directed all the magical energy towards his brother, hitting him right in the chest.

Castiel felt a weird pull in his body and the next thing he knew, Gabe was above him, staring down incredulously.

“What the heck? A cat? You’re a cat, Cassie. A cute one, but still. What the heck?”

“What are you talking about?” Castiel replied.

Only that wasn’t what came out of his mouth. Hearing himself _meowing_ not only scared the crap out of him, it also made him incredibly angry. What had Gabriel done to him?

“Woah, woah, woah, slow down there, baby bro. I can _see_ you’re accusing me. But I swear I followed the instructions meticulously. Fuck, there must be a mistake in the translation.”

Knowing Metatron and more importantly, knowing his brother, Castiel knew who he trusted more. Within seconds, he was up and by the door, _meowing_ pathetically at it and leaving claw marks.

“I’m totally with you on this, dear brother mine,” Gabe commented, having the presence of mind to take the spellbook and the flask the potion had been in, before he opened the door for Castiel. Together, they ran the short way down towards the house that functioned as the coven’s library and meeting place. As a cat, Castiel should’ve been faster than Gabriel, but it wasn’t that easy running on four legs instead of two.

Once they reached the house, Gabriel threw the door open and let it _bang_ against the wall. Startled gasps were heard and Castiel immediately saw that most of the coven’s Elders were here, probably in deep conversation over the problem. The moment his eyes landed on Metatron, Castiel jumped at him, startling the witch so much he let out a pathetic screech.

“Gabriel, what is the meaning of this?” Naomi, one of their Elders, demanded to know, but Castiel didn’t pay her any attention. It wasn’t until Gabe grabbed him around his middle that he finally came to his senses. This wasn’t helpful – but it didn’t mean the scratches on Metatron’s face weren’t satisfying.

“We need to see the grimoire Metatron used to translate this spellbook,” Gabe explained, awkwardly showing off the book while still keeping a hold on his brother.

“We?”

“Yes. We!” Holding him up as if Castiel was Simba on Pride Rock, Gabriel showed him off for everyone to see. “This is Castiel!”

As the shocked exclamations calmed down, Gabe explained in short sentences what had happened, while Hannah, one of the right hands of the Keeper of the Grimoires, hastened into the back to search for the book in question.

Once she was back, they all flocked around the table to study it, but Castiel demanded in no uncertain terms to be able to read as well.

“Is it just me or is the text in Gabriel’s spellbook way shorter?” Inias, an herbalist like Gabe, pointed out.

And yes, he was right.

It took Castiel only a few short minutes to translate the whole two paragraphs Metatron had overlooked in his translation. The moment he was finished, he was at the witch’s throat again. He didn’t care that all his insults translated to various forms of vicious _meows_.

Until they suddenly didn’t.

“You bastard! How could you be so careless? How could you _not see those_? What kind of Keeper are you?”

“Ehm, Cassie?”

“Shut up, Gabe.”

“Yeah, but, ehm … Cassie?”

“ _What?_ ”

Turning around, he realized he was able to look his brother in the eyes again without having to crane his head up. Looking back at Metatron, he saw his hand around the witch’s neck, strangling him where just seconds before his paw had been.

Sighing, he closed his eyes.

“Is it twilight already?”

He could feel the motion of many heads behind him turning.

“Yes, the sun must’ve just set.”

Opening his eyes once more, he fixed Metatron with another icy glare. “You better be damn grateful I don’t have my magic right now. Because if I had, I swear, I would set you on fire on the spot.”

“Castiel!”

Ignoring Michael’s shocked yell, he let go of Metatron and moved to one of the curtains, ripping it down in one go and covering his naked body with it. They might be a coven of nature bound witches, but this didn’t mean he wanted to stand naked in front of his brethren for the duration of twilight, while he explained what had happened.

“This cockroach forgot to translate two whole paragraphs. What Gabriel and I believed to be a protection spell for any virgin witch? It’s not a protection for the _witch_. It’s to protect them as one’s _property_.”

“Wait, what?”

Sighing in frustration, Castiel tried to calm down so his explanation would make sense. After all, it wasn’t as if he had all night.

“As I take it, in the times when forced marriage was still a thing, some covens would put these spells … these curses on their rebellious daughters.”

“Why?”

“Because I guess it would force the child to comply and marry whoever their coven deemed the right fit if they wanted to keep their magic.”

There was a moment of silence before Inias broke it. “I don’t get it.”

“It’s a curse, Inias. A _curse_! As long as I stay a virgin, my magic will not only lay dormant as is explained in the paragraphs Metatron was so kind to translate. No, it will also slowly run out until nothing is left.”

“So, you mean …”

“I mean, unless I get fucked within the next few weeks, I will eventually become a human. Or die, I don’t know. The text doesn’t say.”

There was a long stretch of silence in which he could see his brethren take in the horrid news with various states of shock.

It was Gabriel that spoke first.

“I still don’t get how this would make sense. You’re human right now, right? And I take it that has something to do with twilight?”

Castiel only nodded to confirm.

“That’s what?” Balthazar, one of Castiel’s closer friends, threw in. “Thirty, maybe forty minutes? Something like that? Don’t know, but in my eyes, that’s enough time to … you know … do the deed.”

“Yes, of course,” Castiel answered, stoically ignoring Zar’s implication. “After all, the new husband would need some time to claim the virgin.”

“But where was the guarantee that the virgins wouldn’t just run off? Let someone else pop their cherry,” Raphael spoke up for the first time.

“That’s the part where the transformation comes in. As I read it – hastily, mind you – if there’s someone else … some competition … or if the heart of the witch already belongs to someone else, this spell would turn the virgin into the very thing that the other suitor wouldn’t touch.”

As expected, unbelieving gazes were his answer to that statement.

“So, the spell chose to … transform you into a _cat_???”

“Apparently so.”

“What kind of monster is your cute barista that he wouldn’t touch a cat?”

Before thinking it through, Castiel raised his hand with the full intention of throwing a ball of magic and energy at his brother for that statement – only to reach into nothingness. There was no inner core, no magic left in his soul. Instead, a point against his sternum started to heat up, searing into his skin and letting him gasp for breath.

“Holy shit,” Balthazar spoke up, moving towards Castiel. “I was already wondering since when you’d started getting all kinky and wearing a collar. But this must be where your magic lies now.”

The moment Zar touched whatever it was that had just seared into Castiel’s skin, it was as if his friend touched his very soul, his core, his inside. As romantic as that might’ve sounded, it hurt like hell. Castiel screamed and crumpled in on himself, only just being caught by Balthazar.

“I’m sorry, oh dear Lord, I’m so sorry, Cassie.”

“If this is Castiel’s magic,” Hannah started, also coming forward to comfort him, “it’s part of his soul. Castiel, you must make sure no one ever touches it or, God forbid, take it away from you.”

“Yeah, thanks for the reminder,” Castiel wheezed out as sarcastically as he was able to, still trying to catch his breath. The only good thing was that Zar had always been one of his closest friends, because otherwise, the feeling his touch had left against Castiel’s soul would’ve been weird as fuck.

“It’s getting darker, we don’t have much time until dusk,” Naomi interrupted in her no nonsense voice. “Castiel, I know you won’t like to hear this, but we can’t risk losing you. You’re –”

“Don’t you _dare_ tell me I’m supposed to lose my virginity _now_. You know there’s a reason it hasn’t happened yet and I will _not_ do so now just because a fucking curse is forcing me to.”

“But … Castiel,” Hannah spoke up, real concern in her voice. “What will you do?”

“I don’t know.”

Someone else spoke his name, but Castiel had enough.

“I said, I don’t know! This _just_ happened. For heaven’s sake give me some freaking time to think.”

“There’s nothing to think about,” Michael demanded. “We can’t risk you losing your magic or even worse.”

“Seriously, Castiel. We know the whole topic is not easy for you, but for the sake of not dying?”

“Yeah, come on. It’s not like sex is a bad thing. You might even enjoy it.”

“Castiel, please. You have to see reason.”

“Castiel …”

“Cassie …”

With a loud roar, Castiel pushed his friends away and brought all the comments thrown at him to an instant halt. “Shut up, shut up, shut UP! Leave me alone, all of you.” He turned around and ran out of the house before anyone could stop him. It wasn’t until he was a good fifty yards down the street that he realized he was on all fours again, running silently and as far away as he could, leaving behind his coven yelling out his name into the night.

 

~*~

 

Cas kept a close eye on the window. As he felt dawn approach, he got up. With a heavy heart, he left Dean behind, hoping the man would be okay alone for a short while, and went to the living room. Normally, he would hide in the bathroom, but today, the risk of having Dean wake up and stumble towards the bathroom was too high. In the living room, he would at least be able to hide behind the couch.

The transformation never hurt, the only thing he felt sometimes was the heating up of his magic, caged in a gemstone pendant. He’d seen reflections of it by now. It had the same color as the mist that danced around his hands. The same color as his eyes, which was only natural. After all, the eyes were said to be the windows to one’s soul and a witch’s soul was where their magic lay.

While he was sitting buck naked on Dean’s couch, not even bothering to cover up, Cas thought about everything his brethren had said to him that night. It wasn’t the first time he’d come to the conclusion that no one in his coven really understood the concept of demisexuality. Maybe Hannah did, but Cas wasn’t sure if it was simply because she was an understanding person in general or if she really _got it_. Admittedly, it was hard to explain such a concept to people that had active sex-lives themselves.

Contrary to his brethren’s belief, it wasn’t as if Cas _hated_ the thought of sex. That couldn't be further from the truth. It was just the fact that it was hard for him to actually find a person he wanted to share the experience with. Thinking of “just going out there and getting his cherry popped” … he shivered at the thought. It might be too harsh to compare it to being raped, but Cas knew it would feel like that for him. He didn’t need to try it to know that. For a long time, Cas had even thought that he was asexual. That had been until the time he’d met a cute guy in college. The closer their friendship got, the more he was thinking about having an intimate relationship with him. It had thrown his world view and he’d started to research, finding out about demisexuality for the first time. He knew the spectrum was a huge one. From those who dreamed about sex with various partners, but in the end still needed a real connection to their partners before actually doing it. To those who were so opposed to sex until they met that one special person they really connected with and only then were able to even _think_ about an intimate relationship. Castiel figured he was somewhere in between. It wasn’t as if he dreamed about having gang bangs, but once he met a person he felt a connection to, all bets were off. Ever since he’d met Dean and gotten closer to him? Jesus, he had no idea his imagination could run so wild.

It hadn’t worked out with the guy in college, for the simple fact that the guy wasn’t into men. There was one other person after that, but in the end, something had still felt wrong and Cas had ended their relationship before it had moved further than first base. One of the many problems here had been that the guy had no understanding whatsoever for Cas’ wish to take it slow.

Sighing, Cas got up to get himself a glass of water, meticulously cleaning it afterwards and putting it back in exactly the same place. Last night had been an eye opener. So Dean liked him? What would the … what was it Sam had called him? The _man-whore_ say if he found out Castiel was actually still a virgin and it would take some time if he wanted to get him into his bed?

 _Well, if I’m taking this literally, he’s already succeeded in_ that _task._

Chuckling at his own joke, Cas went back to the couch. The sky was already a warm rose color. Only a few more minutes before he would be “Salem” again.

As much as being a cat might feel like kind of spying on Dean, it had one positive side effect: Cas was feeling so, so close to the man by now. He knew Dean had no idea who he really was, but for Cas, this connection was undeniable. He was falling for the man and how honest and loving and pure and simply _good_ he was.

And yet …

Thinking about a wild scenario for a minute here, where Dean found out about “Salem” actually being Cas … would Cas be able to let Dean take his virginity in the scant minutes they had during twilight? Yes, maybe half an hour was enough time to “do the deed”. But it was certainly not how he’d imagined having his first time after all these years of waiting and questioning himself.

However, the alternative would be to either lose his magic for good or maybe even die. So shouldn’t he be realistic enough to just get over it and _do it_?

Sighing deeply, Cas reached for the pendant. It felt weird touching his own soul, but not as bad as when someone else did it. Maybe it was because his soul knew he wouldn’t hurt himself. Much like one couldn’t tickle oneself, because the body simply knew there was no danger.

Come to think of it, he had to admit that while the touch of his friend had hurt like a bitch, Dean’s touch had only been mildly uncomfortable. The man had been so gentle when he’d reached for the pendant, not breaking Cas’ trust in him for even a second.

Within the next heartbeat, Cas felt his magic heat up and he was back in cat form, just as the sun peeked up over the horizon. Day had broken.

He wasn’t sure, but Cas believed that with every turn and every time the pendant heated up, he lost just a tad more of his magic. However, it didn’t yet feel as if it would run dry any time soon.

Heaving a sigh – which sounded absolutely weird in his cat body – he jumped off the couch and made his way back to the bedroom. For a moment, he had a mild panic attack as he saw Dean sitting on his bed, about to get up. Wow, that had been a really close call.

“Morning, Salem. I knew I was missing something fluffy in my arms.”

“Meow.”

Dean’s chuckle sounded rough from sleep. “Don’t worry, that wasn’t a rebuke.” Getting up, Dean stretched and before Cas could even think about averting his eyes, Dean stripped right where he stood. If Cas had still been in his human form, he was pretty sure he would’ve blushed. Damn, Dean was a fine specimen. The morning light rippled over every inch of his skin, illuminating every scar down to the finest of them.

Without realizing it, Cas let his eyes wander over the man’s body, while Dean picked out some clothes for the day. Wandering over to the bathroom, Dean closed the door, releasing Cas from a spell he hadn’t realized he’d been under. Breathing heavily, he made his way back to the bed, enjoying the warmth and how it still smelled of Dean.

Just as he heard the water in the shower start, Dean’s phone rang. The water was shut off and Dean appeared back in the bedroom, still naked and now very much up close to Cas.

“Hello?”

…

“Yeah, I’m alright. I was just about to take a shower. I’ll be down soon, okay?”

…

“Thanks, Charlie, but I’m really okay. I can work today.”

…

“Okay, see you in a few.”

Ending the call, Dean threw his phone on the bed, scratched Cas behind his ear, and made his way back into the bathroom.

And left the damn door open this time.

_This is wrong. This is so, so wrong, don’t do it._

His resolve only lasted about two minutes and Cas was up on his feet again, sneaking towards the bathroom door and peeking inside. The shower doors were fogged, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t still see at least an outline of Dean. Shortly after, the shower turned off. The moment Dean opened the shower door, Cas was pretty sure his heart stopped for a second. Who would’ve thought that a dripping wet Dean was even sexier than a dry Dean? Lord, have mercy.

“Hey, Salem. You want a shower too?”

“Meow.”

“I guess I’ll have to ask Charlie how often a cat should be bathed.”

Cas didn’t answer this time, too distracted by all the droplets running down over Dean’s chest and his stomach. He had never before been so grateful to be a cat, rather than himself right now. Otherwise, he wasn’t so sure if his virginity would be a problem any longer after this.

All too soon, Dean was dried off and dressed, ready to start the day. He filled one of Cas’ bowls with water and the other one with crunchies, as he did every morning, and then left for the bakery, leaving the door open so Cas could join them downstairs whenever he wanted to.

Cas enjoyed his breakfast as best as he could – he really missed Dean’s pies and cupcakes, but the man wouldn’t give him any of those no matter how much Cas begged, only because Charlie had told him it wasn’t good for cats – and once he’d finished, he left the loft to roam around the bakery.


	6. Chapter 6

** Chapter 5 **

 

The next few days continued in a similar fashion as before, the seizure apparently not leaving a permanent impact on Dean. The only thing that was different was a change for the better: instead of just lighthearted talks between them, Dean seemed to have taken a liking in opening up to “Salem”. Cas might have felt guilty about it, if it weren’t for the fact that he could actually _feel_ how good it was for the man to finally open up to someone about everything he’d kept buried so deep inside of him.

Their evenings were still spent on the couch, Dean all sprawled out and Cas lying contently on his chest. But more than once, the TV would be muted as Dean just started at random points in his life and talked about them. Some of these things, Cas already knew, like his mother dying when he was still so young. Only now he got to know the reason behind her murder. How his father had been obsessed with finding the demon that had done it and how he’d trained his sons to be good little soldiers. Cas could feel the resistance within Dean as he said that and he got the feeling that it had taken Dean a long time to come to this conclusion and actually see it as what it was. He’d known from before that Dean and his brother Sam were close, yet only now he found out why that was the case.

Dean would talk about some of the hunts that still haunted him. About the people that he couldn’t save and the supernatural creatures he’d killed even though he had no proof they’d ever done anything wrong. He would talk about the current hunt and how it frustrated him that it took so long and that he couldn’t just go out there and do something himself, never knowing when he would be proven unreliable by an unexpected seizure.

There were so many little things and more than once, Cas wished he could answer Dean. Tell him what he’d always felt when he’d unconsciously reached for Dean’s soul. Right now, he couldn’t do that anymore, but Cas already knew how pure and good it was. Yet, all he could do was to listen and snuggle up against the man, licking his hand or purring in content when Dean scratched him at this particular spot just behind his ear. Lending his solid warmth whenever he felt it was needed.

Besides the old demons that haunted Dean, there seemed to be one topic in particular for which he needed a quiet ear.

“It’s not like Charlie isn’t right, you know. Cas … Jesus, I wish you would’ve met him. I mean, I wish you could _still_ meet him and soon at that. He’s … he’s just … you know? I can’t even describe it. God, Charlie and Sam would have a field day. Me talking about feelings? That never happens, you know? Do I like him? Yes, hell yes I do. But … but there’s this thing with the supernatural world. I mean, he’s such a nice guy and he has this … this shy little smile, you know. And … I don’t know, what if we start dating and something happens to him? I’ve lost so much. I’ve lost so many people. How could I ever forgive myself for bringing someone like him into this world? What if something happens and I can’t save him? And it’s not even the supernatural world alone. I mean, look at me. Look at how broken I am. How could anyone ever … I mean, right? I’m so broken I couldn’t even tell the guy what I really feel for him. I mean, what I might feel for him, I guess.”

A heavy sigh ripped from Dean. Cas got the impression that he’d just opened an old and infected wound and now all the bad was allowed to flow out.

“And he’s a guy. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I’ve known for a while that I … you know … like both. But … with my dad … I feel like John Winchester would actually come back from the dead and hunt my ass if ever I gave in to that desire. I’ve never been with a man before, you know? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’ve been with plenty of women and it was fun. But … it was always just that, you know. Just fun. Those one or two relationships … those women knew nothing about my world and maybe I could’ve tried to make it work, but in the end … And I don’t know; there’s things, there’s people, feelings that I … I want to experience differently than I did before, or maybe even the first time. Do you understand what I mean? Cas, he … he’s different and I couldn’t tell you in what way. But, I feel like … if I could just try … if I could just jump over my own shadow and give this a chance … be honest …” Another sigh let Dean stop talking for a longer time.

Cas’ head was spinning. God, this man really sucked at talking about his feelings. But in some way, it was equally endearing and heart wrenching. He tried, he really truly did, and that made this moment all the more important. At this point, more than ever Cas wished he could just turn back into himself, take Dean into his arms and tell him that he felt the same way.

Absentmindedly, Dean stroked his fur, massaging him here and there, and scratched him behind his ears. “I don’t even know if Cas would feel the same way,” he added, sounding rather hopeless and maybe even a bit resigned. But what really cut into Cas, was the worry in Dean’s voice at his next comment. “And now he’s been gone for weeks and I have no idea why. Did something happen? Or … or did I do something wrong? What if I never see him again? Salem, what do I do then?”

Dean hugged him close. If the man had not held him so tight, Castiel might have missed the hitch in Dean’s breathing. Guilt about causing Dean such pain almost choked Castiel, but all he could do was let his purrs soothe Dean. A moment later Dean’s breathing evened out again and Cas realized that he was done talking for the night.

 

~*~

 

That wasn’t the only time Dean talked about “Cas”, but it was the only time he really expressed his feelings, no matter how much rambling there had been.

Beside getting to know more about Dean, Cas had found his stash of medication by now and was shocked to find what the man was putting into his system. If nothing else, he would make sure to find him a more humane solution. One that would hopefully actually help. Apparently, as far as he could see, the medication was working less and less. From what he had heard of Dean and Charlie talking and from what Dean had told him during their evening sessions on the couch, it had taken a while to find the right dosage. In the beginning it must’ve been very effective, but it seemed that he was having more frequent seizures, the medication obviously not doing as good a job as it had been. So far, he’d been lucky enough that it hadn’t disturbed his bakery, the seizures either happening later in the evening after a stressful day, or they would approach slowly enough for Dean to hurry into the back. For the couple of months that Cas had known him, Dean had about five or six seizures, all thankfully rather mild, all between a two and a five. Cas also found out that Dean was using the number code to tell Charlie or Sam how bad he felt after a seizure, one being totally fine and ten being the worst. So far, he’d also always lucked out because Charlie or Sam had been close. While the seizures were happening, not much could be done, but he often needed help afterwards.

It was just their luck that the worst seizure Dean had had in awhile, happened while they were alone.

 

~*~

 

It was about a week after Dean’s last attack. He hadn’t felt like cooking that night, so he’d ordered himself a pizza and was sprawled out on his couch. Cas was equally relaxed, spread out across Dean. The pizza lay half-finished on the coffee table and they were watching some rerun of a show Dean seemed to like. Something with a doctor in cowboy boots. Cas wasn’t really paying attention, rather listening to the heartbeat under his ear. It was such a beautiful melody.

Until it wasn’t.

Raising his head in shock at the sudden difference, Cas looked at Dean. The man looked back at him in question, not yet realizing what was happening. He didn’t know how to, but Cas tried to warn Dean in some way, when already he could see Dean’s eyes rolling into the back of his head. The tremors started right away and it wasn’t long until Dean was thrashing around uncontrollably. Cas had no other choice but to jump off of his chest and onto the table, watching in horror as Dean crashed down from the couch and into the gap between couch and table. “ _DEAN!_ ”

Frantically, he looked around for something, _anything_ that would help him. His eyes fell on Dean’s phone and to hell with pretending to be a real cat. It only took a moment for him to wake the screen and enter Dean’s pin. It wasn’t as easy as he’d hoped for with his paws, but he managed to open the phone app. Charlie’s face was one of the recent contacts and Cas pressed his paw to her face, careful to get it right. While the phone rang, he looked down at Dean, hoping to see him calming down already. But if anything, it looked even worse, Cas fearing that he would injure himself for real this time because of the tight space.

“Hey, Dean, what’s up?”

“ _MEOWWW._ ”

“Ehm, Salem?”

Looking around frantically, Cas saw the glass on the other end of the table. He jumped over and knocked it down, relief flooding through him as it loudly shattered on the floor.

“Dean? Dean, what’s going on?”

“Meeeeooowww.”

“Okay, I’m coming over, you’re scaring me. If this is a joke, it’s not a funny one.”

The line went dead and immediately Cas jumped down next to Dean’s head. He knew the last seizure he’d witnessed had felt like hours when according to Charlie it only lasted about a minute. This one, however, seemed so much worse.

Dean was still thrashing around. So violently that he’d moved the table a few inches by constantly hitting against it. Cas was frantic. This couldn’t be normal. Something was wrong, like, really, really wrong. Charlie had said that there was nothing to be done, but Cas didn’t care. By instinct, he did what he had to do almost every night to wake Dean up from his nightmares. Getting closer, he started to lick all over his face, trying to bring him back somehow. He started to purr, knowing how much it usually calmed the man down. Maybe it was his imagination, maybe wishful thinking. Or maybe the seizure was just naturally tapering off. Whatever it was, it felt as if Dean was starting to become calmer. He was still thrashing around, but it wasn’t as bad as it had been before. Pressing closer, Cas leaned against Dean’s neck, trying everything he could to help him in some way. Slowly, Dean’s breathing calmed down.

Even though Cas knew that Charlie couldn’t do much more, the moment he heard the door fly open relief washed over him.

“Oh my God, _Dean_.”

“Meow,” he greeted her, not moving an inch.

Contrary to the last time Cas had seen Charlie during Dean’s seizure, this time she reacted. Without pause, she ran towards the coffee table and shoved it out of the way, not caring for the glass that crunched under her shoes. She hastened around it and kneeled next to Dean. Feeling for his pulse, she then proceeded to turn him on his side and positioned his limbs and head in some weird way. It didn’t look comfortable, but Cas trusted Charlie that she knew what she did.

“Dean? Can you hear me?”

Dean’s eyelids fluttered and a groan could be heard.

“Oh, thank God. Are you conscious?”

There was another groan, this one a bit weaker, and nothing else. Charlie sat down behind him and started to gently stroke his head and down his back. When Cas caught her eye from where he was pressed against Dean’s front, he gave a pathetic _meow_.

“It’ll be okay, Salem. I think this was a more severe seizure, so it sometimes takes him a bit longer to regain consciousness.” Looking back at Dean, she continued her soothing touches. “The last one you saw was pretty mild, seeing how he was able to recover so quickly afterwards.”

Cas had no other choice but to trust her. He pressed against Dean’s chest, squeezed under his arm, and then lay down. Long minutes passed, but eventually, he could feel the man steer. Starting to lick his face, he was thrilled when the arm moved so it was pressing him closer. It was a good sign, at least in his eyes.

“Dean, can you hear me?”

“Char … lie?”

“Yes, I’m here. Thank God you were able to call me in time.”

“I … did … not …”

“Ehm …” Charlie looked up and Cas could’ve sworn she looked at him as if he was an alien. But it was gone within a second. “Well, whatever. Are you okay for a moment so I can run you a bath and get some water?”

“Yes. Salem.”

“He’s right with you.”

The arm around him squeezed tighter as if Dean needed to confirm for himself that the feel of warm fur against his chest was real.

“Meow,” Cas made, before he started up with his purring again.

He concentrated solely on listening to Dean’s heartbeat and his breathing. He couldn’t tell how long it took for Charlie to be back at their side.

“Dean?”

“I’m conscious,” came the reply and Dean’s speech sounded much more normal. With Charlie’s help, he sat up and leaned against the couch, sipping on the water she held against his lips. All the while, he kept his eyes closed and Cas pressed against his chest.

After a while, Dean seemed fit enough to get up, leaning heavily on Charlie as she steered him towards the bathroom. Just like last time, she stripped him down and helped him into the bathtub. Taking his soiled clothes, she went back out, supposedly to the kitchen, as Cas could hear the washer start up just a minute later. Once she was back, she sat down on the tub.

“How bad was it?”

“Seven, I think. Maybe an eight.”

_Wait, what? That hadn’t been a ten for Dean?_

“Do you need to see a doctor?”

Dean didn’t answer right away, thinking about it for a moment as it seemed, before shaking his head. “No, I think I’ll be fine.”

“If you say so.”

Charlie stayed by Dean’s side the entire time, even replenishing the hot water twice, so Dean could relax for a while longer.

When it was time for him to get out, she handed him a towel before leaving for his bedroom, only to come back a minute later with fresh boxer shorts and a shirt.

“I switched off your alarm; you won’t need it in the morning. Sleep in, I’ll handle the bakery.”

“But the students are back. The rush in the morning –”

“I’ll be fine. Just as you said you’ll be fine. If you want me to trust you, you better trust me.”

A very timid smile tucked on Dean’s lips, but he only nodded, opting to rather get dressed instead of arguing.

He let himself be steered to his bed and even let Charlie tuck him in, probably knowing how much she needed to pamper him right now to not let her guilt get too heavy. All the while Cas was following around, trying not to get in their way, but also wanting to stay close. As soon as Dean lay down, Cas jumped up on the bed and made his way to his usual place on Dean’s chest.

“Salem, no,” Charlie admonished, already reaching for him.

Dean intervened. “It’s alright. It’s his place, I want him here.”

Instead of taking him away, Charlie patted Cas’ head, before leaning down to give Dean a kiss on his forehead. Leaving for a minute, she came back with another glass of water and his phone, putting both down on the table.

“In case you need to call me. For now, I guess you don’t need anything else?”

“Thank you, Charlie. For everything.”

“Always,” she answered with a smile. She wasn’t yet fully out the door, when Cas already felt Dean’s breathing even out. The man was gone within seconds, too drained to even stroke Cas once more.

Watching his even breaths, Cas stayed awake for hours, checking for any minute change in Dean’s sleep. It was already long past midnight by the time his eyes grew so heavy he couldn’t keep them open any longer. Laying his head down, he let himself drift off to sleep, knowing Dean was doing alright for the moment.

The fact that Charlie had turned off the alarm never once crossed his mind …

 

 

 

Dean felt content.

It was the first conscious thought that crossed his mind. Warmth was spreading through his body and a peasant weight was sprawled across him.

 _Salem_.

Only, wait, that couldn’t be.

He knew Salem’s weight by now and this was certainly something else.

Not unpleasant, just different.

Wait, was … was that a human body?

Did Charlie fall asleep here last night?

Slowly, still regaining full consciousness, Dean cracked open one eye. All he could see was dark and messy hair.

“What the …”

His eyes snapped open as his Hunter instincts kicked in. Bucking his hips, he sent the person sprawled over him flying to the other side of the bed. A pathetic squeal showed him that he’d woken them. Dean himself rolled in the other direction while simultaneously reaching under his pillow for the knife he still kept there, even after all these years. He was out of bed, knife at the ready, as he whirled around to face the intruder.

Only to do a double take, the knife sinking down a bit.

“Cas??”

“Fuck,” Cas replied, trying to untangle himself from the bedding. “Dean, it’s not what you think. Fuck.”

“What …?”

He didn’t even know _what_ he was thinking, much less how to react. The guy he’d been crushing on for months was suddenly lying in his bed after three weeks of not showing up at all. And naked, at that. What the hell had Dean missed? Had he gone out and picked him up somewhere? Had they hooked up? What had been in Dean’s drink that he would have such a blackout?

And then he saw it.

The amulet.

 _Salem’s_ amulet.

The knife was back up, a murderous gaze on Dean’s face. “Where’s Salem? What have you done to my cat?”

“Ahh, fuck,” Cas said again, finally out of all the bedding and getting out of bed on the other side. “I really wish you didn’t have to find out like this.”

“Find out _what_? And where’s _Salem_?”

“I _am_ Salem.”

Dean was sure his eyes were almost falling out. “ _What_?!”

“Dean, please stay calm. I’ll explain everything and I really am sorry. But you just had a very bad seizure and –”

“How do you know that?” Dean asked, full of suspicion and defensiveness.

Cas heaved a sigh. “As I said, I’m Salem. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. It’s … I … I’m cursed at the moment. Have been for the past three weeks or so, I kinda lost track of time.”

“Okay, slow down. Cursed? What do you mean, _cursed_?”

Another sigh left Cas as he turned around to look out the window. Dean followed his gaze but trained it back on the man right away.

“I don’t have much time left. Once the day begins, I will turn back into a cat –”

“Then give me the short version and you better do it quick,” Dean interrupted.

Gulping heavily, Cas seemed to study him for a moment longer, before rushing the next part out. “I’m a witch. Not the rogue one you’re looking for,” he threw in right away, holding up his hands in defense. “I’m one of those local witches you seem to know about and –”

“Hold it, you mean you belong to the local coven?”

“Yes.”

Not wasting any time, Dean reached for his phone, not letting Cas out of sight for even a second. The fact that the guy was butt naked only crossed his mind on a peripheral level.

The phone rang four times, but Dean didn’t care that most likely he was waking up the guy. He needed answers and he needed them now.

“Dean-o, seriously? Do you have any idea what time it is?”

“Yes, it’s early morning and I just woke up with a naked guy in my bed,” Dean replied with venom in his voice, watching a mask of horror cross Cas’ face. He held up his hands in a pleading gesture, but Dean ignored him for now.

“Ehm, don’t know why you felt the need to tell me, but good for you.”

“He says he’s a witch of the local coven.”

“Come again?”

All of a sudden, the guy sounded so much more awake.

“Are you, by any chance,” Dean started, trying to keep his voice calm and even sarcastically sweet, “missing a _damn witch_?”

“Holy shit, what does he look like?”

Not like Dean had to check since he knew damn well what Cas looked like, but he did anyway, keeping his gaze locked with Cas’.

“Dark, messy hair, blue eyes, always does this head tilt when he’s confused. And, oh yeah, there’s the part where _he’s also a freaking cat!_ ”

“Shit, that’s my brother.”

And that was news that took a second to sink in.

“Your brother? Gabriel, are you _freaking, fucking **kidding me**?_ ” Even during his rage, he saw Cas visibly relax as he heard the other witch’s name, finally knowing that Dean hadn’t called anyone to rat him out. “So, what’s this, huh? You found a way to break our treaty and got your brother to _spy_ on me?”

“No!” came the instant reply from both brothers, but only Gabriel went on.

“No, of course not. It has to do with … with that rogue witch. We needed to protect him as well, but the spell … Look, it’s complicated and I guess he’ll turn back any minute now. I’m already up and on my way, I’ll be there soon and explain everything. Just … please don’t kill him.”

“You better be fast and you better tell me everything, or so God help me, I’ll kill you myself with my bare hands.”

“Duly noted.”

The line went dead and the silence was ringing in his ears.

“Dean?”

Cas’ voice was tentative. Dean interrupted him right away with a raised hand.

“So … you’re telling me …” Interrupting himself, Dean tried to fathom the reality of all this.

Cas was Salem.

_Salem was Cas!_

“You’re telling me, that – for the past two weeks – it was _you_ I’ve been talking to? About my whole freaking life?”

“Dean, I –”

“Please, shut up,” Dean interrupted, forcefully calm, barely holding onto his sanity. “I have …” He had no idea how to even put into words how he felt right now. “… never … I have _never_ … told anyone.” He was shaking, but he knew it was no seizure threatening to attack. It was rage and a feeling of betrayal so deep it made him almost sick. “Those were _my_ secrets. And I’ve told them. To _Salem_.”

“Dean, please –”

“Shut up!”

He could see tears forming in Cas’ eyes and something tugged at his heart. But the feeling of betrayal was so much deeper.

“I don’t wanna see you again. Not right now and maybe not ever. Once your brother gets here, he can take you with him. Until then, you better stay out of my sight.”

Cas made a pleading move towards him, one hand stretched out. “Dean, please.”

Dean ignored him. Just as he saw the sun rising above the horizon, he turned around and left for the bathroom. A whining _meow_ sliced through him, but all he did was to slam the bathroom door shut, drowning out the noise he’d come to love so much.


	7. Chapter 7

** Chapter 6 **

 

He had no idea how he did it, but Dean was able to calm himself enough to get out of the bathroom once the doorbell rang. Calling Charlie, he asked her to please let in the guy standing in front of the bakery, not giving her any information other than that he was okay after last night.

Cas was nowhere to be seen and Dean didn’t search for him, not able to face the cat right now. As he heard hasty steps on the stairs, he went to the loft’s front door.

“Where is he?”

“Hello to you too,” Dean replied sarcastically, letting the witch inside.

Looking around frantically, Gabe turned back to him. “I’m serious, Dean. Where _is_ he?”

“Don’t know, don’t care.”

The next moment, Dean found himself pinned against the wall, a very, very furious witch in his face. “Listen, Winchester. If you’ve scratched even one hair on my baby bro’s head, I’ll end you and your –”

“Meeeooooww!”

The hands on his shirt were gone within an instant and Dean watched as Gabriel kneeled down and picked up the cat that had appeared out of nowhere, hugging it close.

“Never do that again, Cassie, you hear me? Don’t you dare run away again. Jesus, I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

The scene tugged at Dean’s heart for many reasons. For one, he knew exactly how Gabe felt. How it was to have a baby brother you cared so much for you’d kill everyone and everything for him.

But it was also the view of … of _Salem_.

His head knew it was Cas and that he’d betrayed him. That the witch had found a way to sneak into his life and get all his darkest secrets out of him. But his heart only saw his little friend of two weeks and damn if it didn’t hurt like a bitch.

Good thing Dean Winchester had always thought with his head, and not his heart.

“Okay, cuddle time’s over. You can do all you want of that later,” he spat out, moving over to his small dining table that had just enough space for four people. “I want answers so I can decide just how much you two have betrayed me and if I wanna continue our treaty.”

“Cassie didn’t know of the treaty,” Gabe was quick to throw in, following Dean and sitting down.

Cas jumped up on the table, careful to stay far away from Dean, who scoffed at Gabe’s answer. “Yeah, sure.”

“Dean, please. Can I please just explain this?”

“That’s why you’re here, so do your job.”

“Okay,” Gabe replied before taking a second to sort his thoughts. “First off: of course Cas knows that there _is_ a treaty, but he had no idea you’re my contact person. Just like I know you can’t tell anyone my identity, I still can’t tell anyone yours. You have to believe that I haven’t … I don’t even know what you think. Found a way to trick you? To breach our treaty somehow? None of that is true. I mean seriously, why would I do that?”

“Fine, let’s pretend for a moment that I believe you. Can we get to the topic at hand?”

“Alright. So,” Gabe started, leaning forward and folding his hands on the table. “I told you that, once we dug into it, we realized that witch isn’t after young ones in particular. It was more … well, something else.”

“No more secrets, Gabriel,” Dean interrupted, crossing his arms in front of him. Of course he remembered what Sam had found out. However, he wanted to hear it from the witch himself.

The man sighed and tilted his head in a Cas-like manner. It tucked at Dean’s heart in a very uncomfortable way.

“Okay, fine.”

“Meow.”

“I’m sorry, Cassie. Do you want him to trust us?”

Cas did his squinty face, but didn’t seem to protest any further.

Waiting for just a moment longer to see if his brother would change his mind, Gabe finally continued. “It’s not about their youth. It’s … virgins. The witch is looking for virgins.”

“Yeah, already know that,” Dean admitted roughly. At Gabe’s incredulous face, Dean huffed a humorless laugh. “Ya think I’ve been a Hunter all my life for nothing?”

“Fair enough.”

“So, what does your brother have to do with that?” Dean continued his inquisition, keeping his eyes firmly trained on Gabriel. Looking at the cat was simply too painful.

The witch’s gaze wandered over to Cas for a second, before returning back to Dean. “Well, as I said before … Cassie needed protection as well …”

Dean stared at him for a moment, until finally his brain was willing to make the right connection. “He’s a virgin?” he exclaimed, turning towards the cat in question. “You’re a _virgin_?”

“Hey now, calm down. No need to be a douche,” Gabriel admonished, pulling Castiel into his arms and hugging him close. If it was to protect or to comfort him was anyone’s guess.

Dean remembered when Sam had told him about the theory and the shitty way he’d behaved back then. He still had the scratches from where Salem had hammered his claws in his hand so Dean would release him.

No, not _Salem. Cas!_

Seeing the cat cuddle up close to Gabriel the way he’d done with Dean for the past two weeks, burying his face in his neck as if he wanted to hide from the world – _from Dean_ – hurt more than he wanted to admit.

_Okay, time to move on._

“Alright, so Cas needed protection as well and what? I was the safest place to be, so you sent him to me?”

“Of course not,” Gabe almost rolled his eyes, still hugging his brother close. “Cassie ran away from home after the spell we tried went wrong. That was about three weeks ago.”

“Three? He’s been with me for only two.”

Horrified, Gabe lifted his brother up, looking at him. “Where have you been all that time? Cassie, are you crazy?”

“Meow.”

“Yeah, sorry, I don’t speak cat.”

“Well, you asked,” Dean threw in, trying not to look too miffed on Cas’ behalf. This was ridiculous.

A small smile flitted across Gabe’s face, before he got back to business. “Alright, so. Right now I can’t tell you why exactly he came here, although I have a theory.”

“Which is?”

“Arrggh, Winchester, will you just let me finish a thought for once?”

With a simple waving motion, Dean told him to go on.

“As I was saying: no idea what happened between him running away and showing up at your door or why. But I can tell you why he’s a cat. … Okay, that’s not exactly true either –”

“Gabriel,” Dean growled warningly, the witch starting to really try his patience.

The man was quick to explain. “Look, I’m trying here, okay? It’s not like I have to explain these things on a daily basis. So, it went like this: after we’d come to the conclusion that we need to protect our virgins, I found a promising looking potion-spell-combo and after showing Cassie, we decided to try it.”

“So you used him as a guinea pig?” Dean threw in accusingly.

“Basically, yes. Well, long story short, there was a huge part of the description missing –”

“How –”

“I seriously can’t tell you that, Dean-o. That goes too far into the secrets of my coven. But I can tell you – and mostly you, Cassie – that the coven has dealt with the person responsible.”

Dean saw Cas peeking up and Gabe nodded once at him as if to confirm something only the brothers understood. It annoyed Dean, but he knew Gabe wouldn’t let him in any further on the witches’ secrets.

“That part missing, what difference did it make?”

“Ah, so … what Cassie and I believed to be a protection for virgins turned out to be … how did you put it, Cassie? A protection for virgins as some kind of property. Yeah, let me explain,” Gabe added and raised one hand as Dean tried to interrupt him again. Reluctantly, he kept his mouth shut. “Neither of us really got it, except for Cassie, I think. Then again, he _is_ the brains of our coven. It has something to do with ancient times when covens used to marry off their daughters for alliances.”

Raising one eyebrow, Dean told him wordlessly that it still didn’t make sense.

“Well, think of it like the European Monarchy. They would always marry off their daughters so there would be ties between the countries. The difference is: young witches had ways to fight back and rebel. Therefore, it seems this spell was invented.”

Dean almost did a double take when he saw the cat nod in agreement in what would’ve been a very unnatural way for any real cat. The little fucker was even more human-like than Dean had originally thought. Instead of saying anything, he let Gabe continue.

“The spell does quite a few things. For one, it makes the witch in question untraceable. It’s why we couldn’t find Cassie even though the whole coven is on lookout for him. I actually even thought about contacting you, but what would I’ve said? _Hey Dean-o, even though we have this whole crazy bitchy-witchy problem going on, we’re actually also looking for a black stray cat, could you help_? Yeah, that would’ve been hard to explain, so yeah, nope.” Grinning, Gabe winked at him. “Looks like that was a stupid call on my part.”

When Dean didn’t even bat an eye and only kept looking at him stoically, Gabe sighed and continued. “The second thing the spell does is take away the witch's magic, making it dormant and over time, it simply runs out.”

“I’m sorry, what now?” Had Gabe really just confided that Cas was basically powerless and hence at Dean’s mercy?

Nodding, the witch continued as if he hadn’t just put some huge trust into the former Hunter. “It’s this pendant. It contains his magic, or rather: it _is_ his magic and therefore part of his soul. Whatever happens, please don’t touch it.”

“Ehm …” Dean let out, uncomfortably rubbing the back of his neck.

“Oh, you … you already have, haven’t you?”

“We were at the vet and …” he started, but Gabe didn’t pay him any attention, just looking down at the cat. Cas stared back for a second, but when Gabe started to grin, he quite literally rolled his eyes, huffed in annoyance, and with a jump he was out of Gabe’s lap and back on the table.

The cat’s reaction seemed to amuse Gabe even more. “Well, isn’t that interesting.”

“What is?”

“Oh, just, you know. When one of our brethren touched it, he broke down in agony.”

Dean could feel the color drain from his face, an uncomfortable chill taking hold of him. Looking at Cas, who stubbornly avoided looking back, he felt the irrational desire to scoop him up and protect him at all costs.

“I take it that’s not what happened when you touched it.”

Shaking his head, Dean still looked at the cat’s back, Cas stoically trying to ignore both men by now.

“The third thing this spell does is quite obviously the transformation,” Gabe continued, real amusement in his tone now. “The fact that he turns back twice each day was most likely so the man the virgin witch was to marry had a chance to claim them.”

“Sounds more like rape.”

“No arguing there.”

“Wow, your ancestors really sucked.”

“That they did.”

“Wait, you said ‘twice each day’?” Confused, Dean looked over at Cas. “Does that mean you’ve been hiding from me all these times?” All the reaction he got out of the cat, was Cas letting his head hang, still not looking over. It was answer enough.

Probably feeling that Dean’s anger was rising again, Gabe was quick to explain. “He turns during twilight –”

“He just turned this morning,” Dean protested, having Gabe huff out in impatience.

“The original spell said ‘when it’s neither day nor night’. It describes the time from dawn to sunrise; as well as the moment from sunset to dusk. This short amount in between is neither day nor night. It’s twilight and yes, Dean-o, I know in the common use of the word the morning twilight often gets overlooked, but it’s still a thing.”

Yeah, Dean really hated getting lessons from the cocky witch right now. Thankfully, Gabe let it go and simply moved on.

“Anyway, back to the story. The next thing the spell does is to make sure no other suitor would want the virgin.”

At that, Dean frowned at the man to show him that he’d lost him there once more.

“Yeah, we didn’t really get it either. But apparently, if the virgin’s heart was already set on another man or if there was another man that wanted the virgin, another suitor so to speak, the spell made sure to, and I’ll quote quite loosely here, ‘turn the virgin into something the other man wouldn’t touch.’ Now, please don’t ask why the spell choose to transform Cassie-poo into a kitty cat, because that’s a question –”

“I’m allergic to cats.”

There was a silence in the room after his confession that threatened to start ringing in his ears.

“Come again?”

Rubbing his neck, trying to keep the heat from rising to his head, Dean mumbled, “I’m allergic to cats. I’m on meds for it, so it doesn’t bother me.”

The grin on Gabe’s face pretty much equaled that of a child’s on Christmas morning. “Wow, it all makes so much more sense now.”

“So, wait a second,” Dean threw in. His anger about the whole situation had vaporized at a point during this conversation he couldn’t pin point for the life of him. And even now, all he felt was a heavy irritation. “You mean to tell me your stupid spell was able to … to somehow fathom that I’ve got a crush on your brother, even though I was miles away? And it therefore transformed him into something I’m allergic to? That is creepy as fuck, man.”

Gabriel was gaping at him so hard, Dean feared for the witch’s health for a second. But within seconds, the grin on the witch’s face was back tenfold. “Well, I was rather playing at the ‘heart already set on another man’-part, seeing how Cassie here has been falling for _you_ over the past few months, but sure. Let’s go with the suitor-part. I don’t care either way.”

Time stood still in that moment.

He didn’t even listen to the rest of Gabe’s rambling; Dean’s sole focus was on Cas. It took a few seconds, but finally, the cat turned its head tentatively, looking back at him with an unreadable expression.

“Is that true?” Dean breathed out, ignoring the other man in the room completely. When a shy nod from Cas confirmed what the other witch had said, warmth started to spread through him. “Is … is that the reason you came back to the bakery?”

Another nod had Dean slowly starting to smile, until a shy grin sat on his face. Reaching for Cas, he held his hand just so, letting Cas decide if he wanted to close the rest of the distance or not. Blue eyes looked at him, searched every inch of his face for a confirmation to what Dean was offering here. He must’ve seen that the offer was honest, because after a few seconds, he got up and carefully rubbed his head against Dean’s hand.

“Awww, look at that, two idiots in love.”

Having this precious moment so rudely interrupted, Dean scowled at Gabriel, while Cas actually turned to him and hissed quite impressively. The other witch took both reactions with a shit-eating grin.

The statement at least got Dean’s head back on track.

“So wait. Did … Cas, did you … come here … I mean, with this curse, it would be lifted if you … right? Did you just come here –”

“No!” Gabe interrupted as soon as he was apparently able to make sense of Dean’s rumbling. Simultaneously, Cas pulled away from him, quite obviously in shock. “No, oh Lord, no. Cassie wouldn’t … I mean, that’s to say …” The witch interrupted himself, staring at his brother who hissed once more at him. “Okay, obviously, this is not my story to tell, so I guess you’ll have to wait for tonight to get your answer. All I’ll say is that Cassie’s not like that. He wouldn’t just …” Another hiss from Cas brought Gabe up short and he held up his hands in defeat. “Fine, fine, I’ll shut up.”

“It’s alright, Cas,” Dean said calmly, timidly reaching for the cat once more. When his fingers touched the soft fur, Cas looked back at him. “We can talk about that without annoying brothers in the room.”

Quite obviously thankful about that, Cas rubbed his little head against his hand.

“Sooo,” Gabe started after a few seconds, ruining the moment once again. Why was the witch still here? “I hate to have to even ask, but: will you let Cassie stay with you for the duration of the curse?”

Dean hadn’t survived for years as a Hunter without reason. He picked up on Gabe’s unease right away. “What aren’t you telling us?”

If the way the witch squirmed in his seat was any indication, Dean had hit the bullseye. When he didn’t reply, Cas looked back at his brother, _meowing_ at him in a very demanding way.

“It’s just …” Gabe started, looking rather sick. This couldn’t be good. “While Cassie was away, the coven decided that … we couldn’t risk …” Interrupting himself, he rubbed one hand over his face before leaning forward and starting over. Cas had gone rigid under Dean’s touch. “Look, no one knows what will happen once Castiel’s magic runs dry. He himself said that it could be anything from him simply becoming human to him actually dying.”

“ _What?!_ ” Dean exclaimed.

“And the coven has now decided that neither of those options is a risk we can take.”

“ _Meow!_ ” Cas’ back arched, the cat furiously screeching, trembling with what Dean guessed was a mix of rage and fear.

“So, they decided that … as soon as Castiel gets back … he’ll be forced to …” Gabriel couldn’t bring himself to finish, looking rather sick himself. He didn’t have to.

Dean reacted out of pure instinct and in the next heartbeat he’d scooped Cas up and pressed the cat against his chest, securing him from the world. “Oh _hell no!_ Not going to happen! He’ll stay here.”

Gabe heaved out a relieved sigh. “I was praying you’d say that. Our coven is usually not like that, but Cassie … he’s one of our strongest and most powerful witches, because he’s one of the purest souls ever born.”

“Ehm, not to question your coven’s sanity, but … wouldn’t taking his virginity kind of erase that?”

The witch was already shaking his head, probably knowing Dean would ask that. “No, purity of soul, body, and mind isn’t necessarily the same. For example, I know you’ve probably killed hundreds in your time as a Hunter and I can feel how heavily it weighs on your mind. I also guess you haven’t shied away from ‘the sins of the flesh’,” Gabe actually made some annoying air quotes with his fingers, grinning at Dean, “but despite that, you also have a pure soul.”

“Excuse me?”

“Meow!” Cas answered before Gabe could continue, rubbing his head against Dean’s chest. Looking down, he saw two huge blue eyes looking right back at him.

“I don’t speak cat, but I know Cassie agrees with me. He feels it as well, just as I did when I first met you.” At Dean’s confused look, Gabe chuckled. “What? Do you really think I’d trust just any retired Hunter, no matter how delicious his pie is?”

“Okay,” Dean replied, the topic making him extremely uncomfortable. “Can we go back to the real issue here?”

Gabe sobered right away. “Yeah, so … the coven doesn’t think it would be that big of a deal. They … they know of Castiel’s reasons, but they don’t really understand it, which is the real problem here.” For the next part, he spoke directly to his brother. “I’m sorry, Cassie. I tried to reason with them, I really did. But most of them are spouting ‘for the greater good’ and whatnot. Others are simply scared to lose you and see it as the lesser evil. The Elders have decided and … Zach and Uriel both offered to … ‘help out’.”

Cas was trembling so hard in his arms it scared the crap out of Dean. At the same time, he was furious as hell and if ever he met one of these Elders or, God forbid, these Zach and Uriel guys, there was no telling what would happen to them.

“They won’t suspect he’s here, right?”

“No,” Gabe shook his head. “Obviously, they don’t know you’re my Hunter contact either. And I was the only one who knew about Cassie coming here every day, dreaming about you.”

“Good,” Dean replied, letting the little jab slide, just as Cas did. “And don’t worry. Should they find out for any reason, they wouldn’t be able to enter the bakery anyway.” At that, both witches looked at him in question. Shrugging, he explained, “The wards would recognize anyone threatening the safety of those inside and therefore repel them.”

“Wait, this building is warded?”

Looking incredulously at Gabe, Dean could only shake his head. “Why the fuck does everyone believe I would leave my house unprotected?”

“No, it’s just … I don’t feel anything. Cassie, you?”

 _Meowing_ again, Cas shock his head no.

Dean smirked at them. “Well, of course not. You’re good and without any bad intentions, hence the wards have no reason to repel you.” At Gabe’s baffled look, Dean chuckled and smirked at his friend. “What, you think I would trust just any witch prancing into my bakery and offering a treaty?”

“Touché,” Gabe admitted, chuckling himself.

They both sobered soon enough, focusing back on the issue at hand. It seemed, however, as if all was said and done, both men instead dwelling on their own thoughts for a while.

Absentmindedly stroking the cat as he’d done for days now, Dean thought about how he felt. There was still a deep sense of betrayal, but it was muted now that he knew Cas hadn’t done any of this on purpose. It still didn’t make it okay, but that was something he would have to talk about with the man face to face and not with Gabe in the same room.

There was also the fact that he now knew his feelings weren’t quite as one sided as he had thought. The revelation left a warm feeling inside his chest, but also a certain kind of dread as he realized that the current situation meant he might just lose the man again very soon. And wasn’t that the story of his life.

His sigh seemed to pull Gabe out of his own musings.

“Well,” the witch said, putting his hands on the table and heaving himself out of the chair. “Guess that’s all there is for now. Except for: any update on the witch on your side?”

“No, yours?”

“Nope. Not for lack of trying, believe me.”

“Wait a second, what about all the other virgins in your coven?”

At Dean’s question, Cas turned towards his brother as well, who waved away the concern. “Eh, we got it covered.”

“You’re not using the same spell, do you?”

“Of course not, Dean-o. What do you take us for?” Despite his words, he didn’t seem annoyed with Dean’s query. “Nope, all the other precious ones are taken care of the old-fashioned way. By not letting them out of sight at any given moment.”

“Wow, that … must really suck,” Dean replied, almost shuddering at the thought of never being left alone. He could only imagine how the probably mostly teenaged witches would feel.

Gabe simply shrugged. “Meh, it’s the safest solution right now. Leaves us short a few experienced fighters, but rather safe than sorry, right?”

At that, Dean could only nod. Readjusting his grip on Cas, he got up and followed Gabriel to the door.

“So, any chance there’s a pie waiting downstairs with my name on?”

That right there was probably why he’d first come to like the man. He was just as obsessed with pie as Dean was. True, he loved other sweets as well, but by his own admission, pie ranked highly.

“Sure, tell Charlie it’s on the house.”

“Sweet, thanks. Oh, I almost forgot: Cassie, don’t worry about the university. We sent in a sick note, so that’s covered as well.”

When Cas nodded at that, Gabe ruffled his head in a way any good big brother would do, ignoring Cas’ annoyed squint, before waving at Dean and leaving the loft.

Once the door was closed, Dean heaved another sigh. Standing there for a moment, he could feel the tiredness in his bones. Shit, this was certainly not a way he wanted to spend a morning after a heavy seizure.

“Meow.”

“I’m fine, Cas. Just tired.”

“Meow.”

“Yeah, I can’t leave Charlie alone all day.”

“Meow!”

Ignoring Cas’ protest, he went to the kitchen and set him down on the counter. “Hey, is the cat food any good? I mean … are you a real cat in that sense of the way or should I start giving you human food?”

“Meow,” Cas replied, trotting over to where Dean kept the cans with cat food and pawing at them.

“Good, otherwise I would have felt really sorry for feeding you that for two weeks.”

He filled the water bowl with fresh water and put some of the dry food in the other bowl. Just as he put both down, there was a knock against the loft’s door, followed by Charlie’s voice.

“Dean, you alright?”

“Yeah, come in.”

A few seconds later, Charlie entered the kitchen.

“Hey, just wanted to check in how you’re doing. And your friend left with a whole cherry pie? Said you said it was on the house?”

“Yeah, it’s alright. That was Gabe, Cas’ brother.”

“Oh?” Charlie asked, visibly perking up at that. “How is he, any news on him?”

“Yeah, he’s standing right next to you.”

Whirling around, Charlie looked everywhere but the counter.

“What …?”

“Counter,” Dean pointed out, and as Charlie’s eyes landed on the cat standing there, _meowing_ at her, he couldn’t help laughing at the look on her face. “Don’t worry, I’ll explain everything.” Yet, as he wanted to steer her out of the kitchen to leave for the bakery, Charlie held him back.

“Oh no, Winchester. No working for you today. You should still be in bed, resting.”

“Meow!” Cas second her.

Groaning, Dean tried to reason with the redhead, but she wouldn’t have it. Having no other choice, Dean finally gave in and instead of going downstairs and explaining the whole situation to her, he gave her just enough information to understand that _Salem_ was actually Cas who was cursed right now, before letting her steer him back to bed. Not able to complain once he sank down on the soft mattress, his bones almost groaning in relief, he was out before Charlie had even left the room.

 

~*~

 

Waking up without the weight of his furry friend on his chest felt incredibly weird. Dean had no idea that one could get used to something good in a mere two weeks. The sun was already low in the sky, but Dean felt no desire to get up. He knew he should check on Charlie, see if she was doing okay. Maybe he should check on Cas as well, seeing how shocked he’d been this morning about his coven’s decision. What kind of asshole family would decide such a thing? On the other hand, if the alternative was that Cas might die …

Turning onto his side and watching the afternoon sky, Dean let his mind wander. Was he ready to forgive the man for pretending to be a cat for so long, essentially spying on him, even if unwanted? Why hadn’t he shown himself earlier? He must’ve known that Dean wouldn’t just kill him on sight, knowing that there was good in the supernatural world. When was it that Sammy had been over and they’d openly talked about it? Like two or three days after he’d taken the cat in? So why not show himself after that? Preferably getting dressed first and then show up in the bakery.

There was no way guessing his reasons. Dean would have to wait a bit longer to be able to ask all his questions. They would have about half an hour, so he better choose his questions wisely. Could he just flat out ask the guy why he was still a virgin? It definitely wasn’t the most pressing issue, but Dean was curious as hell.

Or maybe it was? After all, if Cas returned his feelings … if they wanted to try … whatever this could be. If they wanted to give this a shot, shouldn’t they be honest about things like that? Gabe made it sound like it was a serious issue, so Dean should probably know about it.

Even without that “issue”, would Dean really be comfortable having his first time with Cas within the short amount of a bit over thirty minutes? If he’d been a woman, Dean might have felt sorry that they’d have to rush it, but he would have felt certain to still be able to make it enjoyable for her. But this would be Dean’s first time with a guy as well and he certainly didn’t feel comfortable enough in this area.

And what would it even mean to take Cas’ virginity? Seriously, when was a guy not a virgin anymore?

Sighing heavily, Dean rolled back on his back.

He couldn’t believe his mind was already thinking about sex with Cas when they hadn’t even talked out the issue of Cas “spying” on Dean yet. Seemed he’d already started to forgive him for that.

A tentative _meow_ interrupted his musing. Moving his head slightly, Dean saw Cas peek into the bedroom, obviously hesitant to intrude.

“I’m awake, Cas. And I’m okay. I’ll be down in a minute.”

“Meow.”

Dean watched as Cas turned around and out of sight, probably leaving for the bakery again.

Heaving another sigh, Dean got up and got out some fresh clothes. Only now did he realize that he’d had his meeting with Gabe in boxer shorts and a worn out Star Wars shirt. Well, it wasn’t as if he wanted to woo _that_ particular witch.

Stepping into his bathroom, he deliberately closed the door. And as he did he suddenly realized: Cas had seen him naked countless of times. Dean felt slightly uncomfortable about it, hurriedly getting dressed. Although, he couldn’t forget the positive sides of his time with “Salem” either. The way Cas had pulled him out of his nightmares night after night. How he had let Dean cuddle him close so he could calm down and stay that way. How he’d helped him with his seizures or at least afterwards.

It was all so freaking confusing, so for now, Dean dealt with his feelings as he’d done for years: he shoved them deep down and got back to work.


	8. Chapter 8

** Chapter 7 **

 

 

Castiel was restless the whole day and was forever and eternally grateful for Charlie, who did not seem to mind that their companion of two weeks was actually a cursed witch.

“Don’t worry, Salem,” she told him as he looked towards the kitchen door for the umpteenth time. There were customers around, prompting Charlie to continue to use his cat name. “Dean will come around. He didn’t seem angry this morning, right? At least not anymore.”

She was right, of course. During the talk with Gabriel, Dean’s anger had seemed to lessen and he’d even begun to behave somewhat normally afterwards. But Cas wasn’t so sure if maybe it had only been for that moment. The initial anger Dean had so obviously felt was understandable and might just return once Dean had time to think about it all more fully.

At least, he seemed to do all right after all the stress with the seizure last night and the shock of this morning. His voice had sounded rough, but not strained when Castiel had checked on him a few minutes ago. He’d tried to stay away, but Dean had slept almost the whole day and in the end, Cas’ worry for the man had won out over his fear of alienating him further.

Gazing towards the door, he was just starting to think if maybe he should check again, when he could hear footsteps on the staircase. A moment later, the kitchen door opened and Dean appeared. His eyes landed on Cas and stayed there for a moment, before wordlessly moving on. Cas’ heart sank. That wasn’t a good sign at all.

“Hey, Charlie. How’s it going?”

“Awesome,” Charlie replied cheerfully, trying to ignore the tension between Dean and Cas while she pressed a few buttons on the register to show Dean the day’s revenue. “It wasn’t too stressful, just the usual rush of students and professors. Nothing I couldn’t handle. And I closed the shop around noon for an hour to get some lunch.”

“Good. Thank you. You were, ehm … you were actually right; I seriously needed that sleep.”

“Wow, who are you and what’ve you done to Dean?” Charlie asked, a mocking charade of shock in her voice and on her face as she leaned away from him. “Dean Winchester, admitting that he needed rest?”

“Oh, shut up,” Dean reprimanded her, a smile tugging on his lips nevertheless.

Sending her home shortly after, Dean closed the shop early that day, around 5 pm, leaving them a few minutes until sunset. When the last customer had left, Dean turned towards Cas, addressing him for the first time since he’d come down. “I left you some clothes in the bathroom. We’ve got stuff to talk about and I rather not waste any time.”

Realizing this was all Dean would say right now, Cas nodded before he made his way upstairs, going right for the bathroom. He didn’t need to wait long until he turned. Dean’s clothes smelled just like the man, of course, and Cas savored it for a moment while he put the shirt on. If Dean was going to throw him out after all, he wanted to remember this scent forever.

As he stepped out of the bathroom, he heard the front door close and made his way over to the living room. Standing in the middle of his own loft, Dean looked lost. Their gazes met and held for a moment. Dean broke it first, sighing and moving over towards the couch. As weird as it sounded, but Cas felt like this was a good sign. Hesitantly, he followed him, sitting down on the edge of the other side.

“I’m not going to throw you out,” Dean started out of the blue. “So relax, man.”

“I would understand it if you did.”

“No, Cas. Look at me, please.” He followed the man’s plea, only to be met with eyes full of emotions. “I meant what I said this morning. You’re safe here and despite how mad I might still be, that doesn’t mean I want to see you harmed. You can stay as long as you want to.”

“Thank you, Dean. I’ll pay you back, of course. For –”

“Money’s seriously the furthest thing down on my list right now.”

“Okay,” Cas replied, hesitating again. “What’s on top of that list then? Because I can think of quite a few things …”

“Will you answer me honestly?”

“Of course. You’ve been honest with me without knowing it, so the least I can do to even start making amends for that is being honest now as well.”

“Good. Then tell me first: What will happen once your magic runs out?”

“I honestly don’t know. The description in the text didn’t say. And as far as I know, it’s unheard of for a witch to lose their power.”

“Do you feel your magic running out?”

“Yes.” When he saw Dean going pale, he was quick to add. “Not much is gone yet, but I feel the pendant heat up every time I turn. I think the turning is what slowly kills the magic.”

“Does it hurt?”

“What exactly?”

“The turning.”

“Oh. Ehm, no. No the turning is alright, I hardly ever feel it.”

Dean’s eyebrows furrowed. “Is there something else that hurts?”

Sighing, Cas looked away for a moment, trying to find the right words to explain. The sky at his back was turning darker and darker.

“My magic is … it’s part of me. It’s interwoven with my soul, my inner core, my entire being. And now it’s just … gone. It’s not a stabbing pain. More like a hollow feeling inside me that is constantly there. It’s bearable while I’m a cat, but during these moments in my human form, it’s there.”

“I’m sorry,” Dean replied, and it sounded sincere. After a moment, he continued his interrogation, but it sounded softer now, much less strained. “Why did you come back to the bakery? I mean, this morning, when I asked you … well, I know _that_ … but …”

“It’s okay, I know what you’re asking,” Cas interrupted, knowing time was precious and really not wanting to torture Dean by letting him stumble out his questions. “That day I ran out of the bakery? I …” Well, shit. He’d spied on Dean even before he’d been Salem. But there was no way he would be anything other than honest with him. “I was curious about your two friends. I’d had run-ins with Hunters before, and they looked the type. So I … I listened in.” Seeing Dean’s eyes go wide, he hastened to continue. “I swear it was the first time and it was only because the change from you guys laughing and talking so carefree and then suddenly all hushed and secretive … I just wanted to know you weren’t in trouble or anything.”

While Cas was still trying to justify what he’d done, Dean seemed to remember what exactly he’d said that day. “You heard my comment about hating and killing witches, didn’t you?” Cas confirmed Dean’s suspicions with a simple nod. “Well, should’ve stayed longer then. Right after you left, I told them to keep their hands off of your coven.”

“I’m not proud of how I reacted. I knew you were a good man. But suddenly finding out the man you’re crushing on is potentially out to kill you? Yeah, not so nice.”

When he saw Dean’s shy grin, he was confused for a moment. Until he realized what he’d just said. Red-faced, he simply continued. “Well, anyway. After calming down later on, I realized that this couldn’t be all there was to it, that there must’ve been something to the story. I’d never gotten a bad vibe from you and I’ve been … close enough to you to know. And no, that isn’t spying. It’s part of me being a witch that I can feel these things.”

“Okay.”

“To cut a long story short, I came back here every evening since I ran away from home, just watching you. I …” A small smile danced around his mouth. “I missed you and I wanted to see if I’d overlooked something because of … well, being sidetracked due to my feelings for you. That night you took me in, I simply wasn’t careful enough. I was so miserable about the whole situation, about not being able to be close to you anymore, about slowly losing my magic. I simply didn’t notice you coming out.”

They both stayed quiet for a few moments. But not long, they didn’t have time for that.

“Dean, I want you to know that I can leave if this is too weird or too much for you.”

“No Cas, you won’t leave here just because of that.” Hesitating, Dean finally sighed before rubbing a hand over his face and turning properly towards him. “Look, I won’t lie and say everything is peachy. I still feel a little betrayed, even though I get the shitty situation you’re in. These secrets …”

“Are safe with me,” Cas promised when Dean once more didn’t seem to be able to find the right words.

“I know that. I trust you, Cas, despite everything. And it’s not really that. I know you won’t tell anyone. But … I just … well, maybe I’d hoped to tell you these things one day in person.”

“Oh.”

There was an awkward pause before Dean continued. “And besides, you know so much about me now and I know hardly anything about you.”

“We can do something about that.”

“And we will. But for now, I want you to know that … I might need a bit time, okay? To … to just fully get my head around all of this. I don’t wanna look at you in your cat form anymore and think of Salem and how much I miss him, okay?”

“I … I’m still here.”

“I know that.”

“That was all me.”

“I know that, Cas, okay? My head knows, but I need a bit time to let it sink in. Okay?”

“Of course, Dean, anything you need.”

“The thing I need right now,” Dean continued, hastily by now, “Is to understand why you didn’t tell me. I get you were scared showing yourself in the beginning. But … you were there when Sammy and I talked about good supernatural beings and about how I wouldn’t let other Hunters kill the local witches. So, why? Why didn’t you tell me? Why keep hiding and … and letting me tell you all this?”

Cas looked away, not able to face the pain over his betrayal he could see in Dean’s eyes.

“I honestly don’t know. It … just never crossed my mind. At that point, I still didn’t know … well, how you felt about me. So what would you think if this stranger suddenly appeared that had been hiding at your place for no reason?”

“You were no stranger.”

“I was a customer that came back daily –”

“You were so much more than that.”

“But I didn’t know. Not back then. I …” Cas stopped, giving Dean a shy smile. “Well, it’s nice to know that now.”

Dean returned the smile, but got serious again quickly.

“And after you found out about _that_?”

“You had your seizure and … I don’t know. You started to talk and even though I knew it wasn’t okay to do what I did, it was still … it was so _nice_. I got to know you better and better. And please don’t deny that it helped you a great deal talking about all this. Would you have done it if I’d not been a cat?”

“That’s not the point.”

“No, it’s not,” Cas agreed, sighing. A quick glance over his shoulder showed him that their time was almost up. “Look, Dean. I’m sorry. I’m immensely sorry. I know it was wrong and I have no real excuse other than that it was amazing for me to get to know you.”

“And you don’t think I would’ve liked to get to know you as well?”

“Of course. And you will. I mean … you can, if you still want to. Because I promise – I _swear_ – I’ll answer all your questions truthfully. I’ll tell you everything you want to know.”

“Everything?”

“Everything,” Cas confirmed, holding Dean’s gaze to show him how honest he was. “I trust you, Dean. I want you to know that.”

Dean held his gaze, before he looked over Cas’ shoulder. A second later, Cas felt a soft pull and Dean did a double take.

“Wow. Okay, that’ll take some getting used to.”

“Meow.”

“Damn, I still had so many questions. Twilight really is a short amount of time.”

“Meow.”

“So, ehhhm …” Dean began. He looked lost there and Cas didn’t like it. He wanted to go over and cuddle up with him like they’d normally do, but it wasn’t an option. “Well, guess we’ll have to continue this in the morning. I … I need to clean up downstairs. So … yeah …”

Dean got up and looked back down at him. Cas could see the pain in his eyes. The man really did miss his cat companion and Cas hated himself for that. Without another word, Dean left the loft to clean the bakery and kitchen.

He left the door open for Cas to join him.

 

~*~

 

That night was the first night Cas slept on the couch.

Dean was attentive enough to put down a blanket for him, but no matter how warm it was, Cas felt cold. He missed the warmth from Dean, his scent that always held a sugary note, the soft breathing and the movement of his chest with every take of breath. No matter what Cas did, he just couldn’t find the right way to lay down and sleep.

It was the most restless night he could remember ever having.

 

 

It took hours for Dean to fall asleep that night.

He’d slept almost all day, and even if he’d needed that sleep to regain his energy, he was now also very much awake. He tried to fool himself into believing that was the only reason there was. Yet, deep down, he knew it was the soft weight on his chest that was amiss. The purring that usually soothed him and the warmth that had given him a feeling of safety and … and home.

When sleep did finally come, it was fitful and short, his alarm at least going off before any nightmares could surface.

 

~*~

 

As far as Dean could tell, Cas kept his promise of being honest and open with him. Of course he wouldn’t really know if the guy lied to him, but so far, he hadn’t detected any insincerity. For the last two days, they’d found some kind of new, yet still somewhat awkward routine. During early twilight, Cas would quickly get dressed and then join Dean downstairs in the kitchen to answer more of his questions; for the late twilight, Charlie would handle the bakery, so the two could go upstairs and talk some more.

Dean could tell that Cas was like a cat on a hot tin roof. He was probably waiting for Dean to change his mind and just kick him out after all; or he was waiting for Dean to ask some serious questions. Because so far, Dean had used their time to really get to know him. His questions had ranged from things in Cas’ life, like childhood and college, to small things one simply wanted to know about the person they were interested in: favorite color, favorite flavor, favorite song; did he like a certain book better or the movie of it? Was he a Star Wars or Star Trek fan? Who was the greatest superhero? And – at Charlie’s insistence – which Hogwarts House would he have been in?

Slowly, these times became less about interrogation and more nice and easy talks, some form of friendly banter back between them, as it had been whenever Cas had visited the bakery.

Despite the tentative friendship that slowly returned, their nights were still spent alone. Dean could tell that Cas was as unhappy with it as he himself was. After the fitful and short rest during the first night of their separation, Dean’s nightmares had returned the following two nights. They hadn’t been too bad and for that he was thankful. He wasn’t sure if he would be able to cope with scaring out of a really bad one just to wake up all alone. Not that he’d had a problem with it before, but ever since Cas …

Yeah, he just didn’t want to think about it.

But, of course, life was a bitch most of the time.

His next seizure happened on an afternoon three days and nights after he’d found out the truth. It happened right in the middle of the kitchen as he’d been working on a new pie flavor. Charlie had been right there to help him as much as there could be any help in these situations. It wasn’t a bad one, thankfully. A two, at the most. But it was enough for his friend to send him upstairs to take the rest of the day off and to tell him she would handle the morning shift. He didn’t complain and just followed her orders.

Done with the bath, he was lying on his bed by the time the sun vanished behind the horizon.

“You know Gabe is our coven’s head herbalist, right?”

Moving his head just enough, he saw Cas standing in the door, leaning against the frame. The sweatpants and shirt both looked rumbled, only hastily thrown on, as if he hadn’t wanted to waste any time.

“No,” Dean replied, moving his head back to stare at the ceiling. “Didn’t know that. Gabe hardly ever gives anything away about his coven. Your coven, I mean.”

“Well, he is.”

“Good for him.” He had no idea what Cas wanted to tell him or why he suddenly brought up his brother. Maybe it was the aftermath of the seizure that made his brain a bit slow.

He heard Cas sigh and then move. Moments later, the farthest end of the bed dipped, Cas cautiously sitting on its edge. “If you’d tell him about this, he could find you a potion that would work far better than all these pills you’re taking.”

“Yeah, thanks, but I kinda like being a human and not a cat.”

Cas groaned at that and Dean was pretty sure the guy was rolling his eyes.

“That was an accident, you know that. Normal potions aren’t dangerous like that.”

Sighing, Dean let go of the jokes. “I know, but … treaty or not, Gabe is still a witch and … I don’t feel comfortable telling him my greatest weakness.”

When Cas didn’t reply, Dean thought about his words, groaning. “Cas, I didn’t mean –”

“It’s fine, Dean. I know.”

There was an awkward pause between them, before he could feel Cas move. The man sighed before talking once more. “Look, Dean. I know you’ve lived with this for years and you don’t need me to tell you how to handle it. But … I’ve seen the medication you take and … that crap isn’t good for you. And above that, it’s not even helping.”

“Yeah, thanks, Sherlock.”

“I would do it myself if I could. But we both know I can’t right now. You trusted Gabe enough to let him put a binding spell over the two of you for a treaty that can’t be breached. Why not trust him with this?”

“Because I don’t like people knowing,” Dean growled out, already irritated with the subject. “This is a weakness and I don’t need the whole world to know about it.”

“Gabe isn’t the whole world, no matter how much he thinks that about himself.”

The slight jab at the buoyant witch coaxed a smile out of Dean, but his mind was still set.

“I just don’t want it, okay?”

“But, Dean –”

“Drop it, Cas. Please, just … drop it.”

For a moment he thought Cas was listening to his plea. But it seemed Cas had gotten to know him way too well, knowing exactly how to get to him. “Charlie suffers every time you have a seizure.”

“That is such a low blow, Cas.”

“No, it’s simply the truth.”

Trying to ignore the guilt creeping into his bones, Dean turned to his side, not giving Cas the benefit of showing how much he got to him with this simple remark. After a while, he felt the bed move once more, Cas getting up, ready to leave.

“And I know it might not matter much,” Cas continued quietly, as if there hadn’t just been minutes of silence between them. “But I’m scared for you every damn time it happens.”

The soft footsteps told Dean that Cas left without expecting any reply from him.

 

~*~

 

_It was dark and cold._

_“Sammy,” Dean whimpered, holding the lifeless body of his brother in his arms. The blood was still running out of all the wounds he’d suffered. Dean had failed. He’d failed to protect his brother and now he was dead. “Sammy.”_

_The manic cackle pierced the air again, showing him where the witch was. He left the corpse behind, and ran towards the noise._

_It was dark, it was cold, and the air was thick, the ground made of some kind of molasses. He could hardly move. He ran, yet he didn’t make it far. Never reaching where he wanted to be. He’d already lost Sammy, but suddenly he knew his brother hadn’t been the only one that needed help._

_“Cas!” he screamed._

_The cackle of the crazy witch pierced through the darkness._

_“Come and find him.”_

_“Cas!” he screamed once more – only this time, no words left his mouth. His voice was gone. No._

_No, he needed his voice to find Cas._

_“Cas! CAS! **CAS**!”_

_“Meow!”_

Dean sat upright in his bed, gasping for air, panting and heaving and hardly able to breathe.

A soft tongue licked over his hand and as time went by, he heard the soft purr that had calmed him down many nights. Feeling the warmth pressed next to his hip, Dean looked down and right into Cas’ shining blue eyes.

“I’m …” His voice sounded as if he’d gargled with stones. “I’m okay … I’m okay.”

He wasn’t. He knew he wasn’t and he was eternally grateful that Cas had come over to wake him and stayed to calm him down, despite Dean having banned him from the bed.

“I’m okay,” he said once more, trying to reassure himself as much as Cas. Maybe even more.

The licking and purring stopped, and a few seconds later, the warmth was gone from his side, Cas jumping off the bed and slowly leaving the room.

The sudden loss of … _everything_ made Dean tremble.

“Wait,” he called out, voice cracking over just this one word.

Cas was Salem.

Cas had helped him through these nights.

Cas had been there for him.

Cas was still here.

“Stay? Please?”

He saw Cas hesitating, saw him search Dean’s face to make sure this was really him speaking and not just an aftermath of the nightmare.

“Please, Cas. I need you.”

Within two heartbeats, Cas was back on the bed and as Dean slowly sank back down, Cas found his place on Dean’s chest. Contented sighs left both of them, Dean’s arms snug around the small, furry body. The purring was back full force and with a soft smile on his lips, Dean let it lull him to sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

** Chapter 8 **

 

Dean felt a soft finger tracing over his forehead, brushing strands of hair aside.

The finger left, only to be back a moment later to ghost over his lips, barely there, but enough to wake him fully. He opened his eyes into darkness. Through the window he could see just the slightest nuance of light. Dawn must have just broken, marking the beginning of morning twilight.

The finger was gone from his lips, but he felt the warm body next to him. Not touching, just far enough away to leave space between them and still having him feel its presence.

“You never asked about my virginity.”

Cas’ voice sounded rough in the mornings. It did things to Dean that he rather not thought about at the moment.

“Didn’t want to make you uncomfortable,” he rasped out, voice hardly any better than Cas’.

The shadowy head next to him moved, lying back down on the pillow. Dean realized that Cas must’ve had his head propped up so he’d been able to look down at him.

“But you wonder about it?”

“Yeah,” Dean admitted. No reason to lie.

“What would you like to know?”

Not questioning the open invitation, Dean slightly moved his head so he could make out Cas’ silhouette. If he offered, Dean knew he was sincere about it.

“For starters, I would like to know the reason … I mean, if there is one.”

“There is,” Cas replied, his warm breath close. “I just don’t know how much sense it will make to you. My coven’s decision shows how little understanding most people can have.”

“Try me,” Dean breathed back, the whole moment having something calm and tender about it that he didn’t want to disturb by speaking too loud.

Cas didn’t hesitate for long. “I’m demisexual. Do you know what that is?”

“No,” Dean answered honestly. “What little research about sexualities I risked as a teenager was just enough to let me know I’m bi. But that was it. And … later on I never had reason to … you know …”

“It’s okay. There are many different forms of it, but it comes down to the fact that demisexuals don’t feel the desire for sex unless they’re with a person they feel emotionally connected to.”

“Oh. I … had no idea that was a thing.”

He could hear a soft and amused huff from Cas. “Yeah, not many people do.”

“I mean, I know there’re people out there that don’t like sex at all, right?” Dean hadn’t lived _that_ far behind the moon.

“Yes,” Cas confirmed. “That’s asexuality. Many of those that are demi might initially think they’re asexual. Until they meet the right person. That’s how it was for me. I … I mean I do realize when another person is attractive and yes, maybe once in awhile I’ll have … not so innocent thoughts about them. But really, they only ever become really attractive to me once I connect with them.”

“Can I ask how often that has happened?”

“You can ask me anything, Dean. And I’ll always answer you truthfully.”

By now, it was light enough outside that Dean could make out Cas’ eyes. They were tender and honest.

“It happened twice before you. The first time in college. That’s when I figured out I wasn’t asexual. But the guy was straight, so we only stayed good friends. The second time … I don’t know, something was off there. The guy started out being nice and we connected well, but once we got to the point where he wanted more of our relationship … I just couldn’t. And he wouldn’t even try to understand. Then again, we were in our mid-twenties, so it’s not like I could expect any better from the guy.”

“But you can expect better from me, I hope you know that.”

The soft smile on Cas’ lips looked so kissable, Dean had to force himself not to do anything stupid.

“I know that, yes. I trust you, Dean.”

Later on, Dean couldn’t say whose hand had moved first, but suddenly, their hands lay between their heads, laced together, Dean’s thumb stroking over the back of Cas’ hand.

He let them simply enjoy this feeling for a moment, before asking the next question on his list.

“So … could you … ever imagine, you know … with me …?”

“Yes.” The answer was so firm and without any hesitation, that it coaxed a huffed laugh out of him.

“Alright.”

Chuckling, Cas drew an inch closer. “To be quite honest: ever since I’ve met you and we got closer, my mind has become a really naughty place. I had no idea I had such a wild imagination.”

“Okay, Cas, you better stop right there,” Dean interrupted him, only half-jokingly. “Or I can’t guarantee anything.”

They both chuckled, still drawing closer. For a moment, they held their gazes, before without a conscious accord, Cas ended up lying in Dean’s arms. Only now did Dean notice that the witch was wrapped in one of the blankets in lieu of any real clothes. Cas let out a content sigh as he snuggled against his chest, while Dean rested his chin on Cas’ head, ignoring the wild hair that tickled him as he pulled him impossibly closer.

He hated how rapidly daylight was approaching.

“When you came here, did it ever cross your mind that I … might be able to … whatever, lift the curse?”

“God, that sounds like I’m the beast from Beauty and the Beast.”

Snickering, Dean tightened his embrace.

“Guess that would make me Belle,” he replied, loving the sound of Cas’ rumbled laughter.

They sobered way too soon.

“It crossed my mind, yes,” Cas admitted at long last. “But, never in a way that I would force you to do it. Or … well … not even knowing if I would be comfortable with it. I mean. If we had more time while we were at it … but …”

“Yeah, I get it.”

They were silent for a few moments, Dean watching the sky slowly lightening up.

“You know it would be my first time with a guy as well, right?”

“I remember, yes.”

After that, they didn’t talk anymore, just silently basking in their newfound closeness. Dean was drawing lazy pattern over Cas’ blanket-covered back, watching the sky turn from gray to rose. From this perspective, he couldn’t see the moment the sun breached the horizon, but he didn’t have to. One moment, he was still holding Cas close, the next he was cuddling with his furry friend again.

Cas let out a pathetic little _meow_ and while Dean felt exactly the same, he didn’t let go. This was still Cas and he refused to make him feel like he only wanted him for his body. Because he wanted him for so much more. He wanted him for who he was and that included being cursed at the moment. So instead, he hugged Cas closer yet. After a while, he could feel him relax and moments later, the soft purr was back.

They lay like that until it was time for Dean to go and check on Charlie.

 

~*~

 

Later that day, Dean checked up on the rogue witch.

Cesar told him that they’d tracked her from Nebraska over Colorado to Oklahoma. However, they’d lost track of her and at the moment, a vamps nest was keeping them occupied that seemed more important than a witch killing other witches. As much as Dean was annoyed about that, he couldn’t really hold it against his friends.

Gabriel at least had helpful news: due to some witchy coven connection thing or whatever, they’d found out the witch’s name was Amara and that she was from a very old and powerful coven. It must’ve been the reason she was so good at hiding herself.

The whole thing was getting frustrating. Cesar had told him about two more victims, which Gabe sadly confirmed. By now, their Elders were in contact with other covens and they were currently negotiating about a meeting. However, Gabe told him that it could still be a while until that would actually happen.

“Why? There are lives at stake here.”

“Yeah, well, doesn’t mean we’re automatically all friends, Dean-o.”

Frustrated about how little he could do about the situation and more so about the fact that even _if_ they got the witch, Cas was still cursed and maybe dying, Dean choose against much talking that evening twilight, rather cuddling up with Cas on the couch, just needing to have him close.

 

 

Castiel couldn’t care much for the rogue witch at the moment. He knew how selfish that made him, but seriously? His time with Dean was all his dreams come true.

Okay, maybe not _all_. But it was seriously very close. It had been two days since the first time they’d cuddled in the morning, and Cas knew Dean was the right one for him. And yes, he also knew he sounded like a sappy lead straight from a trashy rom-com novel, but who cared? What short time they had with Cas being human, they spent cuddling. Cas could tell that Dean was careful not to overstep any boundaries, letting him set the pace. It was simultaneously incredibly sweet, so, so hot, and yet somehow frustrating. So far, they hadn’t even kissed.

The other night, Dean had searched the internet for demisexuality, laptop on one knee, Cas in his cat form on the other. Together they had read a few articles and Dean had asked him many questions. Now that Cas didn’t need to pretend to be a real cat anymore, he could nod and shake his head or use different ways of _meowing_ to tell Dean yes or no. It wasn’t the best way to communicate, but the two of them made it work.

With his newfound knowledge, it seemed Dean really understood how important it was to let Cas set the pace. And Cas found himself falling for the man even more because of it.

 

~*~

 

“Hey, Cas, do you know what day it is tomorrow?”

Charlie’s whispered question pulled Cas out of his daydreams. He was lying on the counter, watching Dean making his rounds through the bakery, laughing and talking with the customers, while Charlie handled the walk-in customers. It seemed right now she wasn’t busy.

Turning his eyes to her, he minutely shook his head before rubbing it against her hand so no accidental observer would notice. Charlie took the bait, and scratched him behind his ears. Real cat or not, he actually liked that.

“Tomorrow is January 24th. That’s Dean’s birthday. He’s turning 36.” When Cas’ eyes went wide, Charlie giggled. “He didn’t tell you, did he?”

Shaking his head once more, Cas looked back at the man. Before he could feel sad about Dean not telling him, Charlie was back to stroking his head.

“Don’t worry, it’s not you. It’s Dean. He doesn’t celebrate his birthday. Sees no need to.”

Yeah, that sounded just like the man.

“Meow.”

“We usually ignore the wish and he gets presents anyway. No party, though, he really doesn’t like that. Usually just a nice lunch with the family. Sam and Eileen will stop by tomorrow.”

Laying his head down, Cas felt a bit depressed that he wouldn’t be able to join them, not really. And he had no present for Dean either.

“Stop being grumpy about it, Cas. I know you can’t buy anything right now, so I thought I’d make you a special pie for him, okay? You can eat it together tomorrow evening.”

Cas’ head peeked up at that promise and when she smiled at him, he got up and rubbed along her arm.

“Hey, no getting too cuddly with him,” he heard Dean say as he came behind the counter to get to the kitchen. As he leaned in, he let his voice drop, so none of the customers would hear. “That’s my boyfriend, no stealing.”

He was gone through the kitchen door before either of them could react, but a moment later, Charlie’s amused grin was directed at Cas, her eyebrows wiggling.

“He just called you his boyfriend.”

Yes, he’d heard that.

Leaving Charlie, Cas made his way into the kitchen, finding Dean leaning over one of the kitchen counters. When Dean heard the door swing shut behind Cas, he looked down at the cat, mild panic in his eyes.

“Cas, I’m sorry. That … I was … I wanted to crack a joke and … it just slipped out. If you don’t … I mean it’s totally up to you and …”

Jumping onto the counter even though he knew he wasn’t allowed and Dean would have to sanitize it later, he wound his body around one of Dean’s arms. The man was gripping the counter so hard, the muscles and veins in his arms stood out.

“Meow.”

It just took a second for Dean to relax and pick him up, bringing him close, so Cas could cuddle up against his chest. Too bad twilight was already over for tonight. They’d spent it together in this very kitchen, talking some more and just happy in each other’s embrace. Cas wished Dean’s slip of tongue had happened earlier, because right now, he wanted nothing more but to kiss him and tell him exactly how okay he was with Dean calling him his boyfriend.

“So,” Dean began, holding him tight. “I take it you’re okay with … with this whole boyfriend thing?”

Instead of _meowing_ , Cas licked Dean’s neck, before rubbing his face against it and starting to purr. Dean’s chuckling generally made Cas’ heart jump, but it did even more so now.

“Good, I was kinda scared I’d just fucked that up real bad.”

Cas’ purring hopefully showed him how happy he was with their new relationship status.

 

~*~

 

The next morning, Cas made hasty work with not only throwing on his clothes, but also brushing his teeth. He hadn’t bothered in the beginning, but ever since Dean knew he turned into a human twice a day, he had put a spare toothbrush out for him.

Once he was finished, he ran downstairs, not wanting to waste a single moment.

The radio was on and Dean was humming under his breath as he stood at one of the kitchen counters, rolling out what Cas guessed was dough for pies. As he heard Cas enter the kitchen from the stairways, he looked over his shoulder and sent a smile in his direction.

_God, I love him._

The thought hit Cas so hard he almost couldn’t breathe for a moment.

“Morning, Cas.”

Taking slow breaths to calm himself, Cas returned the smile and made his way over. Hugging Dean from behind, he rested his chin on his shoulder. “Morning to you too. And happy birthday.”

Groaning, Dean let his head hang.

“Charlie told you, didn’t she?”

“Of course she did. And I’m a bit miffed I had to hear it from her –”

“Cas …”

“– but I get it.”

“I just … I didn’t …” Sighing, he put the rolling pin aside and turned in Cas’ arms. “I just didn’t want you to feel obligated to get me anything.”

“That’s the worst excuse I’ve ever heard –”

“Hey,” Dean exclaimed, but Cas cut him off with a finger on his lips.

“But I’ll let it slide for now. ‘Cause I rather spend my time giving you my birthday present.”

“Oh?”

Without hesitation, Cas leaned in, catching Dean’s lips with his own. He could hear Dean’s surprise, but not even a second later, Cas felt a hand on his neck, the other against his backside, both hands softly pulling him closer.

He felt Dean’s lips moving against his own, and when they parted slightly, he took Dean’s invitation, carefully licking first over his lower lip, then inside his mouth. A groan slipped from Dean’s lips, and he swallowed it, pressing closer against the man. The hand on his back started to wander, leaving a hot trail in its wake, sending sparks through Cas’ body. He wanted to be closer, so impossibly closer to Dean.

Before he could, he felt both of Dean’s hands cradling his face, as the man slowly ended the kiss, pulling Cas’ head slightly away from him. Just enough so they could speak.

“That was … pretty much the best present ever.”

Chuckling, Cas pulled away a bit further to be able to see Dean. His breathing was heavy, his eyes were still closed.

“I’m sorry, Cas. I didn’t expect that and I … I need a second, so I won’t do anything you aren’t ready for.”

Cas gave him all the time he needed.

After a few seconds, Dean opened his eyes and looked at Cas, tender and caring and … and with so much emotion Cas couldn’t help himself but to steal another kiss from his boyfriend.

Dean chuckled, most likely about his clumsy eagerness.

“Not that I’m complaining,” he said once the second kiss had ended as well. “But I really hope you didn’t just do that because it’s my birthday.”

“No. Because I wanted to.”

“Good.”

“And it’s not my only birthday present, but the other one has to wait for tonight.”

“Oh?” Dean asked, but Cas didn’t elaborate. Instead, he leaned in again, just continuing their kissing. Now that he knew what Dean tasted like, he seriously couldn’t get enough of the man.

It was a good thing that he had the times of dusk and dawn internalized by now. He was pretty sure Dean wouldn’t fancy suddenly kissing a cat. As he sensed morning pulling closer, he ended their kissing and just let Dean hold him until he had to turn back.

 

 

Dean was honestly a bit nervous as he made his way upstairs just a few minutes before twilight that night. His birthday had been amazing so far. The kiss this morning had surprised him so much that it had turned him on even more. It had been so long since he had been with someone, let alone someone that actually turned him on like Cas did (if he ever really had been), that he’d had needed a minute to control himself. Otherwise he would have devoured the man right there in the kitchen.

For lunch, Sammy and Eileen had showed up and together with Charlie and Cas in his cat form, they’d had a nice time even though the bakery had still been open.

But the closer it got to twilight, the more nervous he got about Cas’ other present. The man wouldn’t … right? He wouldn’t want to move forward so fast, after they’d just kissed. Or would he?

And look at that. Dean Winchester, nervous about the possible and highly unlikely prospect of sex.

Damn it.

Opening the door to his loft, he was greeted with the lovely picture of a sunset through his window behind the L-shaped couch. The coffee table was set with two long candles and a huge pie that held a single birthday candle, none of the candles yet lit. There were also two bottles of beer.

Cas was nowhere to be seen, and since the sun wasn’t down yet, but the pie still warm and the beer clearly just taken out of the fridge, Dean suspected that Charlie must have helped him with the set up.

Instead of sitting down, he made his way over to his bedroom and got out some comfy clothes. Using the last minutes of the day to get changed and brushing his teeth, Dean stepped back into his bedroom the moment Cas put a shirt over his head. The peek he had of his naked skin made Dean swallow with a gulp.

As he turned around, Cas gave him a wide grin.

“Just give me a second to brush my teeth. I’ll be right with you.”

“’kay,” Dean pressed out before he left for the living room.

Damn it, this was so hard. He wasn’t a dick who would push Cas into anything, but … damn it.

“Sorry I wasn’t able to bake the pie myself,” Cas said as he came up behind him, taking his hand and pulling Dean towards the couch. While Dean got comfortable, Cas lit the candles and then handed him the knife to cut the pie.

Shoving his desires aside, he gave his boyfriend a smile and cut big pieces for them.

“Pie for my birthday. You seriously know the way to my heart,” he chuckled, only to bite his tongue a moment later. That had sounded way more joking in his head. Out in the open, it sounded almost like …

A soft kiss was pressed to his heated cheek, before Cas took one of the plates and simply leaned back to enjoy the sweet treat, not remarking on his slip of tongue in any other way.

_God, I love him._

_Wait, what?_

Quickly, Dean stuffed a piece of pie in his mouth, trying not to think about anything at all anymore.

They ate quietly, until Cas put his half eaten plate back on the table and turned towards Dean, sitting cross-legged on the couch.

“I hate to have to cut this short, but I seriously want to tell you what my other present is.”

“Wait, it wasn’t the pie?”

Chucking, Cas shook his head. “No. I mean, yes, but that was Charlie’s idea. I have something else for you.”

“Okay,” Dean replied, putting his plate down as well and turning fully towards Cas, one leg under the other.

Taking his hands, Cas looked at them for a moment, probably searching for the right words. It made Dean a bit nervous.

“You know I trust you, Dean, right?”

“Yes.” There was no denying that.

Exhaling slowly, Cas looked up at him. “I can’t even begin to tell you how much I appreciate that you’re holding yourself back – no, please let me finish. I’m not saying, let’s jump into bed and just do it. But … Dean, I feel safe with you.” He stopped for a moment, struggling a bit with his words. “I … I know my first few weeks as a cat here might not have been ideal, but it has helped me so, so much to get to know you and … and I feel so drawn to you and … I _know_ I want more. I can’t promise you that I’ll be able to go all the way, but … I at least want to _try_. With you.”

Dean gripped his boyfriend’s hands tighter, just enough to show how much his words meant to him, not wanting to interrupt.

“So, here’s my present. And I know it might be a bit weird, but I want you to know that I really mean it. I …” sucking in a deep breath, Cas smiled at him, even though Dean could read the shyness in his eyes. “I want you to not hold yourself back as much as you’ve done for the past few days. I want you to trust me that I’ll stop you should it be too much or too fast for me. And … I really hope you won’t get frustrated with me, no matter how often I stop you or how often I turn back right before it gets really good. … Okay, that last part isn’t really a present, more like a plea,” he added, pressing out a nervous laugh.

Dean let go of one of Cas’ hands, so he could cradle his face carefully. “The last part isn’t going to happen, Cas. I might get annoyed about the curse, yes. But never about you. I’d rather have you, cursed or not.”

That coaxed a smile from Cas and, hesitating for only a moment, Dean leaned in to steal the smile right off his lips with a kiss. Cas’ humming reminded him of his purring as a cat, making him smile. Somehow, Cas’ hands found their way to the front of Dean’s shirt and he could feel himself being pulled closer. Before he gave in, however, he made sure to end the kiss momentarily to be able to look his boyfriend in the eye.

“I fully and totally accept your present. Probably the best one I’ve ever gotten.”

“You said that about the kiss this morning.”

“Well then,” he said, dropping a quick kiss on Cas’ lips. “Guess I’ll just say _you_ are the best present I’ve ever gotten.”

“Oh my God,” Cas replied, laughing gleefully, “Dean, you’re such a sap.”

“Yeah, but I’m your sap.”

Grinning at him some more, Cas choose not to reply. At least not with words. Instead, he pulled Dean back into a kiss. As he let himself sink back on the couch, Dean was more than willing to comply and follow.


	10. Chapter 10

** Chapter 9 **

 

 

Had Cas really thought the time before Dean’s birthday had been all his dreams come true? Yeah, scratch that. The days after the birthday, Cas was in heaven. Dean was still so very careful not to push him too far, but he did take Cas seriously and tested the waters. So far, Cas hadn’t needed to stop him even once.

As January slowly moved into February, they let their relationship progress just as slowly. Mornings were either spent together in bed, both of them exploring the other’s body; or in the bakery, Cas distracting Dean from baking and the man not complaining at all. Evenings were mostly spent upstairs on the couch while the shop was either closed early or handed to Charlie. They would be cuddled up, talking or just lazily kissing, shirts mostly absent. It might sound weird for others, but even though Cas trusted Dean with all he had, and even though he felt strongly connected, it still wasn’t as if he could just jump into bed with him.

As February came, Dean started to try and go a bit further. It was the first time Cas stopped his wandering hand.

“Sorry, I’m sorry,” he apologized right away, but Dean only shook his head, continuing to kiss him as he let his hand wander back up instead.

“Don’t be,” Dean breathed out after a while, pressing sweet kisses to his shoulder. “I thought that was part of your present: that I can trust you to stop me.”

“I know, I just …”

“No,” Dean said, never stopping to kiss him. “No apologizing. I trust you to stop me … so please trust me that I won’t hold it against you.”

Cas let go of his frustration over himself then, and enjoyed the rest of their twilight together.

When the sun was up, he once more pretended not to notice that Dean’s morning showers had started to take longer than they usually did.

 

~*~

 

About a week after Gabe had found out where he lived, Cas had called his big brother during twilight and begged him to drop off some books for Cas to study. It wasn’t as if he could translate long texts right now, but at least he could spend his time as a cat to start and check over Metatron’s texts, to see if the cockroach had made any other grave mistakes. He would be able to mark the pages he had to revise later on. Thanks to Hannah, who was now their ally, as Gabe had told him, his brother had been able to drop off three grimoires along with the translated spell books a few days later. Ever since, Cas had spent a few hours each day sitting in Dean’s office, pondering over the texts. So far, he had found three more grave mistakes in not even fifty pages. Seeing how Metatron had probably translated about sixty to eighty grimoires in his time as Keeper, Cas was fascinated how they weren’t all dead already.

“Here,” Dean appeared next to him, putting down a paper. “I totally forgot about this. You dropped that the day you … ran out on me.”

Thankfully, there was a loving smile in the man’s voice instead of a sad note. Cas still felt the need to rub against his arm. Dean scratched him just behind and under his ear and Cas couldn’t help but purr. By now, they had found out why he loved that spot so much as a cat – it was because as a human, to be kissed there drove him absolutely wild. He’d never known Dean would be able to draw noises like that out of him.

Enjoying the scratching for a moment longer, Cas finally looked over the paper Dean had dropped on one of the spell books. He almost did a double take as he recognized the very paper he’d been hiding from Dean all those weeks ago. It was a copied page from one of the first grimoires he had to translate himself and while other parts usually weren’t a problem, this particular spell was a bitch and he had needed to take notes directly in the text to help him along.

It was something about a witch’s heart, and wasn’t that just fitting.

 _Wait a second_.

Cas pulled away from Dean, stepping onto the paper to get a closer look at the lines that had just caught his eye, before hastily jumping over to his dictionary to double check.

Dean’s chuckle only barely registered as he was once more annoyed over the ineffectiveness of paws compared to hands in the handling of books.

The passing of time was another thing that barely registered as the afternoon slowly faded into evening. As he changed, all he could think of was grabbing one of Dean’s notebooks to scribble down what he’d just figured out in the last few hours.

“I take it, no cuddling tonight?”

Dean was back, half sitting, half leaning against the table.

It took Cas a moment to answer, too deep in concentration over what he’d just figured out. “I’m sorry, Dean. This text was a pain in my butt all over Christmas and I finally found the mistake I’d made. Now it makes sense, and –”

“It’s okay,” Dean said, leaning down to kiss Cas lightly on that one spot under his ear, making it hard for him to breathe. Especially when Dean whispered, “Although you look delicious like that, all naked on my chair.”

Cas was sure he’d never turned red faster in his life. But instead of pushing any further, Dean got up and grabbed a blanket from the little couch. Putting it around Cas, he gave him a quick peck on his lips, before leaving his boyfriend to it.

No time to dwell on it for long, Cas promised himself he’d make it up to Dean in the morning before going back to hastily scribble down what he had figured out.

 

~*~

 

“So, I was thinking,” Dean started the next evening.

They were back in the office, Cas once more studying his texts. It was close enough to twilight that Dean had the blanket at the ready and knew he could ask his question now, so Cas could answer once he’d turned.

“Gabe mentioned all this esoteric crap of mind, body, and soul not being the same thing.”

“It’s not esoteric crap, Dean,” Cas threw in, accepting the blanket from his boyfriend to cover himself. “It’s a well acknowledged theory, even in academic medicine.”

“Yeah, whatever. So, it got me thinking. Where’s the heart in that?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, that bitchy witch is hunting hearts. And she’s taking virgin ones, so I take it it has something to do with purity?”

Cas only nodded, telling Dean wordlessly to go on.

“But isn’t that the wrong way to think of it? I mean … I’ve killed before I lost my virginity. So, was my heart still pure then? And Gabe said my soul is still pure, so is my heart pure as well, even though I’m not a virgin anymore? Where does the heart stand in this esoteric crap?”

“It’s not – never mind,” Cas interrupted himself, rather focusing on the real question instead of trying to explain to Dean that the concept of body, mind, and soul was a rather old one and not some new age esoteric crap. “That’s actually a valid question. The heart is thought of as the person as a whole. It’s … kind of the reflection of yourself, inside of you.”

“Ehm … yeah, what?”

“I know it’s hard to understand. And trust me, when we heard about it, my coven had a long discussion about why that witch was taking virgin hearts in the Twenty First Century. Back in the time when blood magic, especially magic with virgin blood was still a common practice, it was believed that virgins were pure, no matter what. But today, we know that isn’t necessarily true. As you said: a person is able to kill even while still being a virgin. Or they could’ve had sex and still have a good soul and a spotless mind.” Cas pulled the blanket a bit closer. It wasn’t cold, but the topic wasn’t a nice one and he rather liked the comfort of the fluffy blanket. “To be honest, we have no idea why Amara wants all these hearts or if she’s still searching for the right one. The spell your brother found is an interesting one. My coven found a similar one, which is why we came up with this theory. Our Elders had contacted the other covens the next morning and those they could reach confirmed that their killed ones had been virgins, so we didn’t question it any further.”

“Okay, but that kinda didn’t answer my question.”

“Well, that’s because there’s no real answer. The heart belongs to neither of the three and yet reflects all of them.” Looking at Dean, he tried to make the man understand. “You’re _made_ of body, mind, and soul, and your heart _is_ who you are.”

“God, that’s some complicated shit right there.”

Chuckling, Cas nodded. “Yeah, it is. Sorry, I can’t give you a better answer.”

“It’s alright,” Dean answered, shrugging. After a moment, he frowned. “So, wait. If a heart can still be pure even after a witch had sex … does that mean even _if_ the two of us … you know … and we break this stupid curse. Does that mean you could still be in danger?”

“Unlikely, since I wouldn’t be a virgin anymore.”

“Yeah, I know. But, theoretically …”

“Dean, she’s been hunting virgins for the past few weeks. Why would she suddenly go for someone who wasn’t a virgin anymore?”

“That’s not really answering my question here, Cas. Maybe she’s been killing so many because, despite them being virgins, none of their hearts were pure.”

“And you think she’d go for my heart because it’s supposedly so pure?”

“Well, your brother said it’s the reason you’re so powerful.”

“No, that was my soul.”

“Whatever. Come on, Cas, you’re kinda avoiding my question here. Could you, theoretically, still be in danger if you weren’t a virgin anymore?”

And God had he hoped Dean wouldn’t come to that conclusion.

“As you’ve heard, I’m a very powerful witch, Dean,” he replied in lieu of a real answer. “I can take care of myself.”

“That’s bullshit.”

“Excuse me?” He looked back up at Dean, almost miffed about the reply.

Dean, however, didn’t look apologetic. “Your brother put a stupid curse on you just to protect you. So, please don’t tell me you can handle that witch just because you’re powerful.”

“Gabe did it because we needed to test the spell and we didn’t want to risk –”

“Bullshit,” Dean exclaimed again, now really looking angry. “Cas, I’m not stupid. Do you really want me to believe Gabe took out one of the coven’s most powerful witches, simply because he needed a guinea pig?”

“Are you insinuating I’m not powerful?”

“No! I’m saying if Gabe felt the _need_ to protect you while still calling you powerful as shit, then this Amara-bitch must be really dangerous.”

“She’s been able to kill right under our noses for weeks now. I think that alone should tell you how powerful she is.”

“And then you go and tell me you’re not going to be in danger? When we both know your heart is probably white as snow?”

That had Cas frowning. “You know ‘good’ and ‘white’ aren’t –”

“I know that, Cas,” Dean exclaimed, pushing away from the table and looming over him. “Don’t try to distract from the real topic here.”

“And what is the real topic?” Cas asked, getting irritated himself.

Dean looked really angry by now. “That you won’t be safe from that witch even _if_ we lift that curse.”

“Well, no one asked you to _lift it_.”

“Oh, great, so we just wait until your magic runs out and see what happens?”

Looking away, Cas didn’t answer him. So far, they had avoided the topic of his draining magic. It wasn’t much so far, but they were all sure that the blue in his pendant wasn’t as dark anymore as it used to be in the beginning. He didn’t know _what_ he had expected, but in hindsight, the color slowly getting paler was probably the most logical sign for him losing his magic. Even though the issue had started to be more pressing, it didn’t mean he had to like talking about it.

A deep sigh told him that the anger was draining out of Dean. “Cas, look. I … I know you don’t wanna hear it, but –”

“Can we not talk about that down here? Please?”

Nodding, Dean gave in. At least about that topic.

“Fine. But what about Amara?”

“What about her?”

“Well, do you plan on hunting her once this curse is gone?”

“I never said that.”

“No, you didn’t. But that wasn’t my question.”

Frustrated, Cas was almost biting his tongue off, before he couldn’t keep his own anger in any longer. “What do you expect me to say? That witch is killing my brethren, most of them still children. Do you really suspect me to sit put and not do anything once I get the chance?”

“Then why did you let Gabe put a curse on you in the first place?”

“Because,” Cas yelled, “back then I didn’t know there was a chance that I might be losing my virginity soon.”

Dean drew back as if Cas had slapped him and Cas regretted his words the instance they’d left his mouth.

“Dean, please. I didn’t mean it that way. I’m not here because of … of _that_ , you know that.”

“Do I?”

“Dean –”

“No, Cas, seriously. You keep telling me you didn’t come here so I could lift the curse, and yet the moment we get closer … the moment there’s even _remotely_ a chance that we might lift the curse, you start making battle plans.”

“If I was really here to _use you_ just for that don’t you think I would have jumped your bones weeks ago?”

That seemed to get through to Dean.

He sacked against the door, pulling on his hair.

“I’m sorry, Cas. I’m sorry. It’s just … I … I can’t lose you, you know?”

Knowing the man as well as he did, Castiel knew what it took out of him to admit his feelings in such a way. All the anger he had felt evaporated in a heartbeat as he got up and flung himself into his boyfriend’s arms. The blanket dropped to the floor, but neither of them cared that he was naked, both knowing that they hadn’t much longer anyway.

Dean hugged him close and kissed his hair.

He didn’t need to say the words, but in this moment, Castiel knew that Dean felt the same for him as he did for this man.

 

~*~

 

The next morning, Dean came back upstairs just as dawn had broken and Cas was in the process of brushing his teeth. As he heard the bedroom door close, he looked into the mirror. There was no hesitation in his eyes anymore and with a slight smile, he left the bathroom.

As Dean turned towards him, the man did a double take. Before he could protest, Cas was in his arms and kissing him. Slowly, he started to strip Dean off his clothes.

“Cas,” his boyfriend protested, using the few seconds he had while the shirt came off over his head. “What’re you doing?”

“What does it look like?”

“Do you really want me to answer that after what we discussed last night?”

Sighing, Cas stepped back to bring a bit of space between them.

“I’m not going to ‘jump your bones’.” He actually made air quotes with his fingers, which seemed to amuse his boyfriend. “But … come on Dean, you know there’s a lot of things we can do between ‘just kissing’ and actually having sex. So … can we just … please?”

Dean searched his eyes for a moment, before reaching for him so carefully, it made Cas’ heart flutter. He pulled him into a slow and loving kiss and once Dean’s jeans and boxer shorts were gone as well, he set down on the bed, drawing Cas closer so he was standing between his legs.

“Are you sure about this?”

It was the first time Dean asked him this question when it came to them being intimate. Before last night, he’d trusted Cas to always be honest about his limits. Cas cursed himself for his careless slip of tongue and swore to himself to get Dean’s full trust back. For now, he brushed his hand through Dean’s hair and leaned down to kiss him. At least there was no resistance in his boyfriend’s kiss.

“Dean, please. I’m sorry about last night. I swear the same rules from my present still apply: I’ll always be honest with you about my limits.”

“Then what has changed? How come you’re suddenly ambushing me, buck naked, ready to take the next step? After we had a fight last night?”

“Because that fight showed me that you love me just as much as I love you.”

Dean’s eyes went wide and for a few heartbeats, Cas feared he would deny it. Instead, Dean wound his arms around Cas’ middle and drew him in, resting his head against his stomach and hugging him close. Not being able to hug back in this position, Cas let his fingers wander through the short dark blond hair, giving the man all the time he needed, even though daylight was coming closer. If all they did this morning was naked cuddling, then he was completely fine with that.

Soon, he felt kisses being pressed against his middle, before Dean rested his chin against the soft flesh, looking up at him. His gaze was so full of love Cas didn’t care if those words would never leave the man’s mouth. Bending down, he caught Dean’s lips for another kiss and his boyfriend was happy to comply.

As soon as the kiss ended, Dean got up, but only to pull the blankets aside and lie down fully, pulling Cas with him. They snuggled close and the moment Cas felt Dean’s body against his naked cock for the first time, he let out a moan that Dean drank down with his next kiss. Under the warmth of the blankets, his boyfriend let his hands wander and this time Cas didn’t stop him as they wandered south. Closing his eyes, he simply let himself feel, knowing he was completely safe where he was right now.

Instead of going for his cock, Dean let his hands caress over Cas’ ass cheeks, before he pulled him flush against him in one swift move. The contact made them both moan out. Without his conscious decision, he started to move against Dean, groaning with every new sensation that floated him. It intensified even more when Dean started kissing along his neck, up to that spot just below his ear. Dean’s breath was hot against his skin, sending a shiver of pure pleasure down his spine.

He didn’t know when, but at one point, Dean had rolled them just enough so Cas was lying on his back, his boyfriend slowly kissing his way down south. He took his damn sweet time and it drove Cas wild. His hands were in Dean’s hair, and he needed to restrain himself from pushing the man down, always keeping in mind that Dean hadn’t done this before either. But God damnit, he wanted to feel those lips against his cock. He was hard by now and it was aching and he was pretty sure he was going to come as soon as Dean touched him.

The next moment, soft lips kissed along his shaft, coaxing a drawn out moan from him. He bucked his hips uncontrollably, yet he’d been wrong about coming on the spot. Thankfully, because this way, Dean simply continued what he was doing, letting his lips and tongue dance over Cas’ hard member.

He was lost in the moment.

So much so, that it was almost too late when he realized the time of day.

“Dean, _stop!_ ” was all he could yell, pulling the man away from him as he already felt his magic heat up. The next moment, Dean looked at him wide-eyed, needing a second to comprehend the situation. When he did, he let his head fall down in the now vacant spot.

“Fuck, I hate the sun. There’s so not enough time to do this properly.”

“Meow.”

“Next time I’ll simply have to be a bit quicker.”

“Meow.”

“Less teasing, more down to business.”

“Meow.”

“Cas, just gimme a moment here to suffer in silence, please?”

He was sure Dean meant it in a joking way, but there was just too much of the truth in it that Cas curled up into himself on the pillow, miserable about this damn curse.

A few seconds later, he heard Dean inhaling sharply, looking up at him before crawling back up the bed. “Oh, no, Cas, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. I told you, I would get annoyed with this curse, but never with you.”

Softly, he stroked over his fur, before taking Cas’ little cat head in his hand, forcing him to look up at Dean. “Hey, it’s not your fault, okay? We’ll get through this and once we can, I’ll close the bakery for a week, not letting you out of bed even once, alright?”

“Meow,” Cas replied, rubbing his head against Dean’s chin. A soft kiss landed between his furry ears, before Dean got up to take another long shower.

 

~*~

 

They didn’t get a chance to be alone that evening, because Gabe showed up shortly before twilight. Not only was he bringing more grimoires and spell books for Cas, but Amara had taken another victim in Missouri. That made it full circle around Kansas. She’d also been seen heading back towards Lawrence. Delegates of several covens were on their way here, but Cas couldn’t shake the feeling that it might be a trap. Amara could go undetected for so long, why show herself to give away she was on her way back here again?

At least Gabe had brought him the grimoire he’d asked for. It held the original spell he’d finally translated from the photo copy. To actually weave the magic, he would need the original grimoire or a spell book written down by a Keeper. A simple photo copy held no magical trace. When a witch had used a spell once, they would be able to henceforth use it without either book close by, the magic of the spell already interwoven with their inner core. But for the first time, they always needed the book. And if Cas was going to do this particular spell the right way, he wouldn’t ever need to use it again.

That was, of course, should he ever get his magic back in the first place.

 

~*~

 

The next morning, Cas rather felt like learning Dean’s body instead of the other way around. Dean only protested for a short moment, before giving in and letting Cas have his way with him. They lost all trace of time, leading to Dean having to take a long shower once more. And it wouldn’t be the only time. During the next handful of twilights, mornings and evenings, they fully explored each other’s bodies, finding new ways to tease each other and drawing the fun out further and further without ever getting to the end. It frustrated both of them and equally turned them on so much more. With each twilight, they would test their limits further. Cas enjoyed every minute of it, and he knew Dean did as well.

Yet, even teasing could go on for only so long.

It was Dean’s morning off and as dawn approached, he got out of bed to quickly freshen up in the bathroom. A few minutes later, Cas joined while Dean was brushing his teeth. Pressing a kiss to his shoulder, he took his own toothbrush, a warm feeling floating through his body due to the domestic feeling of this calm morning. Once they were done, Dean pulled him in for a kiss and slowly moved him out of the bathroom and back to their bed. As his knees hit the edge, Cas tumbled over, pulling Dean with him. They both huffed out a laugh before Dean’s lips were back on him, roaming his body lazily.

And yet.

Something was different this morning. The teasing of the past few days was almost gone. While Dean still took his time to take Cas apart, he also had a feeling that his boyfriend was done taking long showers. Dean also knew that Cas had never experienced an orgasm with a partner before. He seemed eager to finally change that.

Cas was absolutely not going to complain.

He let out a shaky breath as Dean’s mouth made its way down, feeling himself starting to get hard. But instead of kissing his cock, Dean changed directions at the last moment, teeth nibbling on the flesh of his hipbone instead. A sharp sting had Cas gasping in surprise, his grip in the man’s hair intensifying. Dean had just bitten him, but the sting was soothed right away with his soft tongue. As Dean started sucking a bruise into the same spot, Cas groaned, bending into the touch. All too soon, apparently not wanting to waste too much time, these soft lips moved on, back towards where Cas longed to feel him. But again, Dean passed right over his by now rock hard cock, moving onto his other hip. A sharp bite there, followed by a soothing tongue and Cas wondered if he would have a pair of matching bruises. But instead of continuing, Dean’s lips moved away and a second later, he was swallowing him down.

“Holy _shit_ ,” Cas cried out, gripping Dean’s hair tighter, probably to the point that it was painful. He didn’t know if he would ever get used to the feeling of Dean’s lips around his cock. Over the past few days, Dean had gotten more and more confident about being with a man, and no matter how inexperienced Cas himself was, he could tell the difference.

It was amazing.

“Oh God, _Deeeaan_.”

His back arched as Dean hollowed his cheeks, sucking hard. Loosening up just a bit, he let his head bob up and down, every now and then popping off completely, only to let his tongue dance around the sensitive head of Cas’ cock, licking the first drops of precum away.

Cas had lost all trace of time once more, but he knew he was so much closer to his first real orgasm than he’d ever been before. He whimpered as Dean let go of his cock completely, already cursing daylight, thinking their time was up.

The next moment, however, Dean swallowed down his whimpers as he caught Cas’ lips in a searing kiss. He had just enough time to taste himself on Dean’s tongue, before he was almost seeing stars. Dean had lined himself up with Cas’ cock, taking both their hard members in his hand. Not giving him enough time to fully comprehend the new sensation, Dean started to jack them off, rough and fast.

Cas gripped onto Dean’s shoulders, not enough brain power left to care that his fingernails were boring into his boyfriend’s skin. He tried to breathe, but all he could manage was helpless gasps and huffs against Dean’s lips, both of them breathing the same air. That was, until Dean moved his mouth to Cas’ ear. “Let go, Cas,” he whispered, and the rough voice alone pulled another groan from him. “I’ve got you. Come for me, Babe.”

And Cas did.

With his last word, Dean pressed a kiss just under Cas’ ear, and the man was lost. He really did see stars this time, he felt hot and cold and nothing at all and everything at once. Unconsciously, he wound his arms around Dean’s shoulders, gripping him tight, wanting him so much closer, seeking something to hold onto as he was flying. From far away, he heard Dean’s own moaning against his ear, but he couldn’t grasp the meaning of it. Not in this moment.

He was high.

He was so damn high and gasping for air, only to feel laughter after laughter being ripped from him in short huffs.

God, he felt amazing.

Dean’s soft kisses slowly brought him back to his own body. He could feel Dean’s warm and somewhat lax body draped over him. Felt the sticky mess between them, mingled with their sweat. He felt another soft kiss pressed just under his chin and he moaned. His eyes were closed and he had no desire to open them, not wanting this moment to end.

Dean’s lips caught his again and they shared a long and languid kiss. Only once it ended was Cas finally willing to crack his eyes open, knowing he would be met with Dean’s loving smile. He wasn’t wrong, and for a moment, he basked in the love that shone from the man’s eyes.

Until shock and even fear creeped into the green.

“Shit, Cas. You’re glowing!”

Still too mushy in his post-orgasmic bliss, Dean’s words made absolutely no sense.

“Is that how you call it when someone’s high from sex?”

“No,” Dean said, pulling away from Cas and sitting up on his knees. As his eyes quickly roamed over Cas’ body, they only grew wider. “No, shit. I mean literally. Cas, you’re _literally_ glowing blue.”

_What?_

Looking down at himself, Cas felt his heart pounding in his chest and it had nothing to do with the thrill of his first real orgasm anymore.

Because that right here, was a completely different thrill.

Reaching for his inner core, Cas huffed a crazed out laugh as he felt it. Strong, alive, as pure as it had been on the first day. No trace of it ever running out, no trace anymore of it ever being gone from his body, from his very soul.

Laughing again, he concentrated to let the glow vanish from his body, sending it all to one single outlet: his hand. He heaved out an almost manic chuckle as he saw the mist dancing around his left hand, just watching it for a moment, reveling in the feeling of the energy pulsing through his veins, his core, his whole being once more. Just a moment longer and he found Dean’s eyes again. They were wide, but the fear was gone, replaced completely by what Cas believed to be amazement and even awe. He held his boyfriend’s gaze as he simply so much as waved his hand, letting the cooling mess on their stomachs vanish and then the blue mist around his hand extinguish.

Dean looked at their bodies for a moment, shaking his head in disbelief. He got distracted as soft red light fell directly in his eyes, having both man look over towards the window. Cas couldn’t see it from this position, but he didn’t need to. His boyfriend was bathed in the early morning’s sunlight, still sitting on Cas’ very human legs.

“Well,” Dean broke the silence at long last, looking back down at him. “Looks like I just took your virginity.”

Cracking up, Cas pulled the man down and in between all their gleeful laughter, there was so much more kissing, while the sun slowly rose behind the horizon.


	11. Chapter 11

** Chapter 10 **

 

 

Dean wasn’t able to keep his promise of a week in bed with nothing but sex. At least not right away.

Still fooling around in bed and just generally amazed and blissed out about this new change, life came crashing back to them as early as noon. And it came with the bang of the loft’s front door, followed within seconds by the bang of the bedroom door, leaving them no chance at all to cover themselves up.

“Oh, Jesus Christ,” Gabe was howling, covering his eyes and hastily retreating back.

“Gabriel, what the fuck?”

“I told you to wait,” Charlie’s voice could be heard.

“We don’t have _time_. Castiel, Dean, get the fuck dressed and then out here.”

“What do you want, Gabe?” Dean finally yelled out, pissed off by the witch just interrupting them.

There was a small pause, before Gabe replied softly, “Claire’s gone.”

A quick glance towards his boyfriend told Dean all he needed to know. Cas had lost all color, his eyes wide with panic for a moment before he jumped into action. As quick as they could, they got dressed, Dean giving Cas real clothes instead of just sweatpants and a shirt. The jeans were a bit loose around his hips, but nothing a belt couldn’t handle, and the hoodie a bit baggy. Well, they weren’t going to a beauty contest.

While they got dressed, Cas hastily told Dean about Claire. She was a rebellious teenager from his coven. Orphaned, raised by all of them. Had run away quite often before, but if Gabe was here, it must be the first time since they had found out the rogue witch was on the loose.

“Cas, wait,” Dean stopped his boyfriend just before he wanted to leave the bedroom, holding the door shut.

Cas stiffened, apparently guessing what Dean was about to say. “Dean, I don’t care if I’m still in danger or not –”

“I know that.”

“– Claire _is_ in danger and I can’t … I just can’t.”

“I know that, Cas. And I’m not asking you to stay. But I’m coming with you.”

Shock was as clear as day in Cas’ eyes. “Dean, no. No, you know how dangerous –”

“I’m not letting you go alone.”

“Dean, your seizures.”

“I’m coming, end of story. Or I’m not letting you out of this room.”

Holding his gaze and squinting at him, Cas lazily waved his hand, sending some of his blue misty magic towards the door.

The wood simply burst open, ripping a hole in his wall.

_Holy Shit._

Frowning at the man’s smug smirk, Dean ignored how this simple demonstration of power was hot as hell.

“Still coming with you,” he growled out, stepping through the hole.

 

~*~

 

They didn’t leave right away, much to Gabe’s annoyance. Apparently, the coven was searching high and low, not able to trace the girl’s magic as it was somehow cloaked. Yet they had other leads, sparks of magic as Gabe called it and Dean didn’t bother to ask. He simply followed Cas into his office at his boyfriend's demand.

“Cas, what’re you doing?”

“Making sure you don’t have to worry about me,” Cas replied, hastily searching for something in the old books he’d studied over the past weeks. Suddenly, he looked up, holding Dean’s gaze. “Do you trust me?”

“What? Of course I –”

“No, Dean, I’m serious. Do you _trust_ me? And trust me enough to put a spell on you?”

“What? Why on me, I thought –”

“I don’t have time to explain, so please. Dean, look at me and tell me: do you trust me?”

Searching his boyfriend’s blue eyes for just a moment to make sense of this, he gave up and nodded. There was nothing else for him to answer but, “Yes, with all my heart.”

He could see a flicker of glee flit across Cas’ face, before the witch bent over the book once more and started to read some old, Latin lines. Dean knew some of the words from the many incantations he and Sammy had used over the years as active Hunters, but it wasn’t enough to make sense of Cas’ mumbling. Once he was done, the dark blue mist was back around his hand. Dean had just enough time to realize that something _white_ and _pure_ was mixed in with the blue, before Cas gave him a searing kiss. He felt the left hand press against his chest, a soft sting and then nothing but warmth floating his body.

“Will you tell me what that was?” he asked as Cas pulled back from their kiss.

His boyfriend was already hastily closing the book before taking his hand and leaving the office. “Once this is over, yes.”

For now, it was good enough for Dean, so he followed his boyfriend and together they took off to hunt a witch.

 

~*~

 

“How did you know I had my magic back?” Cas asked, looking over his shoulder towards his brother. They were in the Impala, heading north towards one of those magic traces or whatever. Those apparently could be anything from a recent appearance of magic to something that had happened there years ago. So, it was like a hunt for a needle not in a haystack, but in a stack of even more needles. The trick was to find the shinier needles which meant more recent magic, and out of those the right one that led them to the rogue witch.

Yeah, sounded easy as pie.

Dean didn’t even bother trying to understand, just trusting his boyfriend to lead them to the right place.

At the question towards Gabe, Dean looked in the rearview mirror, studying the unease on the man’s face.

“Yeah, you’re not going to like this, little bro. But, ehm … seems since I was the one to put that curse on you, the thing felt the need to inform me … once ‘the deed was done’.”

The Impala swerved for a moment as Dean lost control, his head whipping back around towards the witch in the back. “ _What?_ ”

“Please, don’t kill us. Eyes on the road,” Gabe whined, holding up his hands in defense.

Dean complied, only calming down once he felt Cas’ hand on his arm. Good thing they were already out of the city and no car had come their way.

“It’s seriously not my fault,” Gabe started up, trying to explain. “And it’s not like I … you know … _felt it_.” He stopped right away as Dean growled at him. “I just woke up and simply knew, that’s all, I swear.” Grumbling, he added, “It’s not like I _wanted_ to know that Cassie finally got his cherry popped.”

“Well, I didn’t.”

“ _CAS!_ ”

The Impala swerved once more, but Cas ignored him as he turned towards his brother.

“We seriously need to do a more thorough study on the old lore and the spells that come with virginity. Seems like this curse took its definition of male virginity pretty lightly.”

“Cas, _seriously_?”

“Yes, Dean, seriously. Stuff like that is important for our coven.”

“Yeah, but … can we just _not_ talk about it?”

“So, what exactly lifted the curse,” Gabe spoke up from the back, sounding more businesslike than teasing or joking. Dean let his head drop onto the steering wheel for a second, before looking back onto the road. This was so not happening.

“A simple orgasm due to being intimate with a partner.”

“Oh my God,” Dean groaned, wishing he was anywhere else but here. Then Cas’ words registered. “ _Hey!_ There was nothing _simple_ about _that_ orgasm.”

Smirking, Cas leaned over, kissed his cheek, and whispered into his ear, “No, you’re right. It was quite mind blowing.”

“Damn right it was,” Dean replied, catching Cas’ lips for a short, but searing kiss.

“Oi,” Gabe yelled from the back. “I can hear you, you know? And that was way too much information.”

“Well, you asked,” Dean replied, smirking at the witch in the rearview mirror, before concentrating on getting them to their destination, preferably fast and safe.

 

~*~

 

They didn’t find Claire or the witch at the first spot and not at the second. It was already growing dark as they headed towards the third. Gabriel was in constant contact with his brethren, but so far, no search team had found anything. A quick check back home at least let them know that no one had come for the rest. What was left of the coven back home had huddled up in the gymnasium of their school for the night – and seriously, they really had a whole suburb just for them, including their own elementary school? How freaking big was Cas’ coven? – patrols keeping their eyes out, everybody on high alert.

The third place for them to search was some abandoned house in the middle of the woods.

“Ah, come on, are you serious?” Dean groaned out as he shut off the Impala’s engine a few yards away from the shack. “We’re going for clichés here?”

“Dean, please shut up,” Gabe asked him calmly, but with force. Just enough to let Dean know that something was different about this place compared to the others. Taking his gun, Dean followed the two brothers silently.

The moment they entered the shack, Cas was ripped from their side, a manic cackle floating through the air.

“ _CAS!_ ”

Dean’s scream echoed through the night as he heard the cackling move around, further away from the shack. This was his nightmares come true.

A painful groan behind him kept him from running off. Turning around, he saw Gabe leaning over a young girl, barely conscious. He saw some mist dancing around Gabe’s hand, but it was already too dark inside the shack to make out what he did with it.

“Gabe!”

“I can’t leave her, Dean, or she’ll die.”

In the three years of their unlikely friendship, he’d never heard so much despair and agony in the witch’s voice. As the man looked up at him, he saw tears shimmering in his eyes.

And he knew this feeling.

Gabe wanted to search for his brother and it painted him that he couldn’t. But he had a responsibility and the life of the young girl could still be saved. Neither of them knew if the same applied to Cas.

Not hesitating any longer, Dean got out his keys and threw them down next to Gabe. “Get her out of here and then come back and get us. I’ll find him.”

“Dean,” he heard Gabe’s voice as he was almost through the door. It was just above a whisper. Their eyes met and Gabe held his gaze for a second. “Save him, please.”

Nodding once, Dean ran right into his nightmare, following the cackling that could still be heard echoing through the silent woods.

 

 

Cas should’ve know it was a trap.

Scratch that, Cas _had_ known it was a trap and he’d gone in willingly, his mind solely set on saving Claire. At least, he’d gotten a glimpse of the girl just before he’d been flung through the woods to God only knows where. He prayed that Gabe had the presence of mind to stay with the girl and save her.

“Now look at that.”

The woman that appeared before him was wearing a long black dress and nothing else. Cas was getting cold just looking at her. Trying to summon his powers was difficult, his head hurting where it had been bashed against a tree. Had he been unconscious?

He didn’t know, but the witch was standing above him, smiling.

“There I was, searching for virgins all the time –” she bent down a bit, just enough to touch his chest, “– when the purest heart is in a soiled body.”

“Guess you missed that lesson on the lore.”

“Oh well,” she replied flippantly. “The hearts I used so far helped me plenty. But _yours_ ,” she added, caressing him. Even through all the layers of his clothes, her touch left a cold feeling within him. “ _Yours_ will finally give me the power I need.”

“Need? For what?”

“Oh, hush there,” Amara shushed him, starting to take off his clothes. “You take me for one of those idiots that drone on and on about their great plans until the victim can be saved?”

Cas tried to resist as she was finally down to his shirt, trying to take it off as well. Had she put a spell on him or was he simply weak from the blow to his head?

The shirt was gone and Amara’s icy touch back on his chest.

“Oh dear, such a shame. How pure your heart would’ve been if your body hadn’t been soiled. But, oh well,” she said, smiling at him. It was cold as the night. “It will still do.”

Raising her hand, black mist began to dance around it as she chanted her spell. Cas tried to move, but she was sitting on his legs, pinning him down. He tried to reach for his magic, but he couldn’t find it. Feeling it, he knew the chanting drew to an end …

A shot sliced the night, followed by Amara’s scream of agony. She cradled her hand to her own chest, looking around wildly. A second shot could be heard and Amara duck down, rolling away from Cas. She was gone before he could see the direction she’d taken off.

“ _Cas_.”

“Dean?”

Seconds later, the man was by his side, gripping his arm tightly.

“You okay?”

“Yes,” he replied, not knowing if it was true.

“Come on,” Dean commanded, already lifting him up. “I don’t think she’ll be gone for long.”

“You guessed right,” came the cold voice and with a simple flick of her insured hand, Amara sent Dean flying against the next tree and pinning him there, groaning in pain.

Cas was too slow to stop it. Reaching for Dean in a vain gesture to help him, he missed the mist still dancing around Amara’s other hand. In a heartbeat, she was in front of him again and true to her remark about not being a villain of many words, her hand shot out and drilled into his chest, reaching for his heart.

“ _CAAAS._ ”

Dean’s screams reached him from a faraway distance, the agony and pain that floated all around him too much to focus.

He knew it was over. He knew he had failed and let Dean down. He’d promised him to be safe and he’d failed. Any second now, Amara would rip out his heart, ending his life. Her crazed gaze and the manic smile on her lips the last he would see.

Until the fanatical glee in the witch’s eyes vanished, replaced first with confusion, then anger, then rage.

“What is this?”

Cas could feel a pull tug on his heart – but it did nothing. It didn’t budge, it didn’t move. It didn’t even hurt.

“What have you _done_?”

“Guess you missed something else in the lore,” Cas replied, feeling his power come back with every moment longer that he remembered the spell he had put on Dean and himself.

 _Dean_.

Reaching for his core once more, Cas could feel it pulsating, strong as ever, maybe even stronger. His body was soiled? Well, so be it, if it meant that it made his soul stronger.

He knew for sure it hadn’t weakened his heart. It had strengthened it.

As he reached as far down to his inner core as he could, letting all the power and energy he had within him seep to his hands, he leaned forward, putting his lips against Amara’s ear.

“You can’t take someone’s heart –” his gaze landed on Dean, who was staring back at him with wide eyes, “– when they have already given it away.”

Pulling back, he smirked at her, something dark in him enjoying the pure look of shock and horror on her face as she once more tried to pull her hand from his chest. In one swift move, he lifted his hands and released his magic. The hand in his chest was gone as Amara was flung through the air, banging against a tree about twenty yards away from them. Cas didn’t hesitate as he crossed the space, already reaching for his inner core again. A weak ball of energy was flung in his direction and he easily redirected it so it would hurt neither him nor Dean. His magic lifted Amara as it simultaneously bound her, leaving her at his mercy.

“You won’t kill me,” she sputtered out, blood leaking down her chin.

Cas could feel the darkness in himself rise as he enjoyed watching her suffer. She had brought so much pain over the witches, she deserved to suffer and die. “And why wouldn’t I?”

“Because it would taint you,” she huffed out, obviously believing the argument was good enough.

It wasn’t.

Cas let his magic fester, watching as it slowly and painfully squeezed all the life out of the witch.

A shot rang through the night for the third time and before Cas could fully comprehend it, Amara was sagging in the air, her lifeless body only held by his magic. As realization hit him about what he’d almost done, he dropped her immediately, extinguishing his magic, shocked by himself. He could feel the shred of darkness inside of him shrivel as guilt washed over it and his knees gave out, leaving him crouching in on himself on the forest floor.

Arms wound around him tightly, a warmth filling him within seconds. He clung to Dean, shivering and not able to believe he’d been willing to take a life.

But Dean had saved him, taking the burden on himself.

“What have you done?” he whispered.

“Making sure you wouldn’t do something you would regret.”

“But –”

“I’ve taken too many lives, Cas, one more doesn’t matter. Especially not when it saved you.”

He felt a kiss being pressed against his hair and let Dean hold him for a while longer. By the time the chill of the February night’s cold got too much, even in his lover’s embrace, he had pulled himself together. There was still guilt inside of him, wound around a tear of darkness he knew would never leave his core again. But it didn’t matter. He knew why he had done it. Knew he’d fought Amara to save many other lives.

To save Dean’s life.

He could live with a piece of darkness inside of him, if it was the living proof that he was willing to take a life to save his loved ones.

After quickly getting dressed and tending to Dean’s bleeding wound as well as his own as best he could, he once more lifted Amara with his magic, letting the corpse follow behind them as they made their way through the dark wood.

“Can’t you teleport us or something.”

“No,” Cas remarked, waiting a second before adding, “I’m too drained right now.”

Dean almost stumbled over his own feet. “Wait, so you normally could?”

“I told you, Dean, I’m a powerful witch.”

He’d suspected some joking remark. Instead, Dean’s arm wound around his middle, pulling him close to the man’s side, which made it harder to safely walk over all the shrubs on the forest floor. A lingering kiss was pressed against his temple.

“That you are. God, I can’t even tell you how hot you are when you’re all powered up and shit.”

Chuckling, Cas pushed Dean’s face away, trying not to let the man distract him too much. He didn’t fancy staying in the woods all night with the corpse of a crazy witch. So, he rather concentrated on finding a way out for them.

Dean didn’t give in right away, pressing another kiss against his hair, before letting go and taking Cas’ hand instead. Together, they made their way back to the shack.


	12. Chapter 12

** Chapter 11 **

 

 

Dean could hardly keep his eyes on the road, instead watching the man asleep in his lap. Softly, he let his fingers glide through his boyfriend’s hair, a sappy smile on his lips as Cas let out a content sigh. Looking into the rearview mirror, he saw Gabe watching them, Claire sleeping peacefully at his side.

Gabe had still been waiting by the time they got back to the shack, pacing in front of the Impala like a caged animal. He’d heard the shots and hadn’t wanted to leave for safety, yet he was unable to leave Claire’s side either. The girl had already been sitting in the backseat, hugging Cas close as he’d opened the door to check on her himself. They weren’t even out of the woods when Claire had broken down in Gabe’s arms, sobbing and explaining that she’d run away to get to her boyfriend. Fed up with the permanent monitoring from the coven, she’d decided to just “get it over with”. Dean had seen Cas cringe at her words and he’d taken his hand and let his thumb trace softly over it.

Amara had snatched her up, but, as it seemed, Claire’s heart hadn’t been pure enough for her liking. So instead, she’d used her as bait for other coven members. Neither Gabe nor Cas had liked the news about Claire’s heart not being pure anymore, but that was something to be discussed back in Lawrence.

Shortly after, Claire had fallen asleep and as Cas’ eyes had grown heavy, Dean had coaxed the witch into laying his head in the Hunter’s lap for some shut eye while Dean drove them home.

“You’re good for him, you know?”

Dean looked at the man in the back through the rearview mirror. Gabe had his eyes on him, speaking softly so he wouldn’t wake anyone.

“I can see the way you two look at each other. Kinda don’t even feel the need to give you the big brother speech.”

Looking back down at Cas, Dean let a small smile dance around his lips.

“Nothing against you, Gabe,” he replied softly, his voice just loud enough to be heard over the roaring of his Baby. “But I think I’d be way more scared of Cas’ own wrath.”

Chuckling, Gabe nodded, before looking out of the window.

For a few miles, Dean let it stay silent between them, but something Cas had said the other day wouldn’t leave him alone.

“Can I ask you something?”

Gabe looked back at him and Dean took his silence as approval.

“Cas told me … ehm … he said you … make potions and stuff.”

Huffing out a laugh, Gabe leaned forward, resting his arms on the back of the front seat and his chin on his forearms. “Pretty sure Cassie was a bit more eloquent about it, but sure. You need anything?”

Hesitating, Dean looked back down at Cas. He loved him. There was no doubt about that. Even if he would never be able to say it out loud, it was simply the truth. And he knew that Cas felt the same. He trusted him without a second thought and Cas trusted Gabe. So, really, there was no questioning here.

“I’m suffering from seizures.”

Gabe nodded his head in understanding, not interrupting him.

“I’m taking medications, but they aren’t really effective. Not anymore, at least.”

“What’s causing the seizures?”

“A concussion I got on a hunt about four years ago.”

“Any triggers?”

“No, not really,” Dean replied, giving Gabe great credit for being professional about the situation. “I mean, it can happen when I have a stressful day, but no. No real triggers. The last really bad one I had was while I was relaxing on the couch. Just like that, out of nowhere.”

“Would you be willing to let one of our docs look you over?”

“Why? Can’t you … you know, just mix something?”

“Sure, Dean-o. If you wanna become a cat I can certainly do that.”

“Funny,” Dean said, fighting against a grin despite himself. “Wouldn’t my files be enough?”

“I’d rather have Michael check you. He knows what to look for to tell me what you need.”

“So, you’re saying it’s possible?”

“It is, yes. But to find the right dosage, I would need to work with Michael on this. Or any other of our docs, but Michael is the nicest of them.”

“And then? I mean, once I have the potion?”

“Kinda like with your medications now, I guess. Only this will actually work. And the potion is natural. I guess right now it’s a bunch of chemicals you’re pumping into your body?”

Dean nodded, still looking a bit grim.

“You were hoping I could just magically erase the whole problem, right?”

“Maybe.”

“I’m sorry, Dean-o. That’s not how magic works. But I promise you that the seizures won’t bother you anymore. As long as you take the potion.”

“Thank you.”

Gabe nodded, ending their talk for the moment. He still had his chin rested on his arms, looking outside the windshield or sometimes down at Cas. As they passed the city limits of Lawrence, he spoke again.

“You gonna be an active Hunter again? I mean, once those seizures don’t bother you anymore?”

If Gabe’s eyes hadn’t been on Cas in that moment, Dean might not have realized the real question behind this innocent sounding query. As it was, he cut right to the chase.

“I’m not going to leave Cas, no.”

Their eyes met in the rearview mirror, Dean letting Gabe read in his eyes how honest he was about the witch in his lap.

“My family and I … we’ve built our lives here and we like it. And I love my bakery.”

“Yeah, trust me. I love that place as well.”

Chuckling, Dean continued. “And I think I’ve been doing a good job over the last few years to help other Hunters. And to keep your coven off the list of some gung-ho hotheads. So, yeah, I think I’m doing quite good right now. And with Cas …” He let his hand wander over his lover. “I’m not going to give him up.”

“Good,” Gabe simply replied, leaning back into his seat, a happy little smile on his lips.

Once they reached the bakery, Dean let Cas sleep as he helped Gabe move Claire into the witch’s car. He promised to drop Cas off the next day sometime in the afternoon for him to spend some quality time with his coven. After Gabe had left, he softly shook Cas awake.

“Wha …?”

“We’re home, Babe. Come on.”

“Gabe?”

“He already took Claire home. Come on, sleepy head. It’s the middle of the night.”

“But …”

“I’ll drop you off tomorrow. For now, I really just wanna cuddle up with you in bed. Okay?”

Cas nodded and let himself be walked towards the bakery. A sign hung in the door’s window, telling customers that the bakery was closed tomorrow due to personal reasons. Dean left the sign, no desire to jump straight into the kitchen in about an hour or so.

“Dean, I really want a shower. I’m so cold.”

“Okay.”

Dean didn’t argue, just moved them directly towards the bathroom once they were in the loft. They could probably both use a good, hot shower. Or maybe …

“How would you feel about a hot bath?”

“Only if you join me,” Cas replied, cuddling close to Dean. It made the man chuckle about how much Cas behaved like a cat in that very moment.

“That was the plan.”

A little while later, they lay in the soothing water, Cas in his arms while they just soaked up the warmth. They were both tired, but Dean was too curious to wait until the morning to get this one question answered.

“What was it?”

“Hmhh?”

“The reason she couldn’t take your heart?”

“I told you, I put a spell on us to protect me.”

Cas sounded so tired, Dean felt almost guilty nudging him on. But he needed to know.

“Care to elaborate?”

Cas was silent for so long, Dean thought he might have fallen asleep. Instead, Cas turned just enough in his arms to be able to look at Dean.

“Remember how we watched _Stardust_ the other night?”

He had no idea why Cas was suddenly changing the topic. Besides, that was from the time he’d still thought Salem was a normal cat. “I thought we weren’t going to talk about all the secrets you learned about me during that time.”

Huffing a soft laugh, Cas pressed his lips against Dean’s wet collarbone.

“The water’s getting cold. Let’s get ready for bed while I explain.”

Grumbling in lieu of a real answer, Dean followed Cas out of the water. While they got dry, Cas went on.

“So, you remember that movie that you totally didn’t watch and cried over?”

Dean pinched him in his ass cheek for that comment, eliciting a soft squeal from his lover.

“Taking that as a yes. Well, you remember Yvaine’s speech about love? That long monologue you pretend to not have internalized?”

“Is there a point to all your teasing?”

Cas gave him a peck on his nose, before picking up his toothbrush and the toothpaste. Obviously, he couldn’t talk while brushing his teeth, so Dean followed suit.

Once they were done, they got into their bed, not bothering with clothing. Cuddling close, Cas finally continued.

“So, you remember it?”

“Yes,” Dean sighed out, too tired to come up with a cheeky reply. “What does that have to do with the spell?”

“’My heart’,” Cas began, and due to the way he said it, Dean knew he was quoting, rather than telling him something. “’It doesn’t belong to me anymore. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I’d wish for nothing in exchange. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine’.”

“That was heavily edited,” Dean began. And stopped right away.

Pulling away just enough to look properly at Cas, he searched his eyes, not believing what his lover was telling him.

“You … you gave me your heart?”

As he saw Cas’ smile, he remembered the feeling of warmth that had spread through him the moment his lover’s magic must have entered his chest.

“You _gave_ me _your heart_?” he repeated, slightly shocked about this revelation.

Cas nodded, before quickly clarifying, “Not literally, of course. But, yes.”

He didn’t elaborate, giving Dean time to let it sink in.

“Wait a second … ‘just your heart, in exchange for mine’ … does that mean … ?”

“I didn’t _take_ your heart, Dean. But …”

“But?” Dean prompted, lifting Cas’ chin up softly.

“The spell would’ve worked one sided had you not been willing to give me your heart. So, I knew my heart would’ve been protected either way.”

“But I gave you my heart.”

It was no question, it was a simple truth.

Leaning down, Cas caught his lips in a soft kiss and instantly, Dean pulled him closer. Once the kiss ended, he let his head sink on Dean’s chest, his place right over his lover’s heart. Sighing in content, he snuggled impossibly closer.

Dean held him close, hardly able to contain these immense feelings of _warmth_ and _content_ and pure _love_. Pressing another kiss to his lover’s head, he closed his eyes and let himself bask in their happiness.

 

~*~

 

Dawn was already breaking as Dean felt himself drift off to sleep. Just one little thought kept him still awake.

“Oh, and, Cas?”

“Mhhhhh?”

“We’re totally getting a cat.”

 

  **The End**  

**Author's Note:**

> *Sigh* ... I loved [delicirony's](http://archiveofourown.org/users/deliciousirony/pseuds/delicirony) picture prompt so much and I honestly did a happy dance when I got my first choice on the SPN Reverse Bang. I really hope you like what we made of it. While the fic itself is mine and the art is all hers, the plot is ours <3 she also helped me beta this fic and made sure I added some cute little things. Delicirony, thank you so, so much for this collaboration!! I had so much fun and I really love what we created.
> 
> Funny thing is: you'll soon see another fic of mine with her art, because she picked one of my fics from the Castiel Big Bang ... 
> 
> As always, all the love to my wonderful beta Sarah ([Feathers7501](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Feathers7501/)), who is always there for me even if I'm finishing up a huge challenge fic hours before I have to post it ... I love you, I hope you know that <3
> 
> Also a big thanks to [courie969](http://archiveofourown.org/users/courie969/pseuds/courie969) for betaing :)
> 
> And of course hugs to all the members of my favorite Destiel/Supernatural groups on Facebook. Love you all <3

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [The Cat That Got The Dean](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10090151) by [delicirony (deliciousirony)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/deliciousirony/pseuds/delicirony)




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